1st Annual Celebration of Normals: Columbus, Ohio 9/20/14

July 15, 2014 5

STOP Masturbation NOW Premier Event

Please join Stop Masturbation Now and Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin for the 1st Annual Celebration of Normals at Goodale Park in tropical Columbus, Ohio on Saturday September 20, 2014 10:00am-10:00pm

Everyone is Welcome*

Have your Children sign the Stop MAsturbation Now Pledge and get their picture taken with Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin

Music by The Swinging Bavarian’s

Free Holy Water

Beer Tent (NO BYOB, Pot-Weed Needles, or ellis dee Bongs)

Prayer AT Circle to pray AT the filthy hippie pro-masturbation “Folk […]

Evil Masturbation Terrorists Caught at Border

July 12, 2014 9

Yo Quiero, TX — Security agents from Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) have been sent to patrol the border and deal with a dangerous faction of illegal immigrants.

The announcement comes at a time when US Border Patrol Agents report an increase in masturbation terrorists crossing into the United States from Mexico. These particular cells are under orders to infiltrate American Society and promote a masturbatory lifestyle, polluting the minds and backsides of normal skin-toned children.

The specific group, Latino […]

B.L.U.F.F. Minister & 2 Elders charged in “Alleged” torturing boy, 13, for masturbation incident

July 10, 2014 8

By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins

SAFFORD, AZ. (BLUFF Press, LLC.) The pastor and two members of a Safford, AZ church pleaded not guilty Monday to state charges of beating and threatening the life of a 13-year-old boy caught masturbating into the holy water, who was forced to dig his own grave, authorities said.

Brother Cassidy Pen, 56, Paul Horner, 24, and Nikita Shalavin Jr., 30, allegedly tortured the boy in the church-run group home where he lived, according to a witness report in […]

Is Menstruation a Sin?

July 8, 2014 56

Dear TheRev Leroy Jenkins,  I learned long ago in my formative years while matriculating at St. Pia Zadora Catholic Prep School that every sperm is sacred, thus masturbation is a mortal sin. However, it begs the question; Is menstruation also a sin since the ovum is wasted?  Sincerely,    Arthur Leon Vitasek

By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins

Dear Art, For some reason your name rings a bell, where you ever a Scout Master in Arizona? Anyhow, according to the King Lonald Version Holy […]

Jesus To Attend “Lonnie Days Celebration” in September

July 7, 2014 12

He’s coming! Repent now!


Jesus H. Christ Almighty, son of God, and personal best friend forever of Lonald Childs, has just been confirmed as the guest of honor of the 17th annual “Lonnie Days” holy celebration.

Says Metatron, Seraphim Voice of The Lords, in a brilliant immolation of the B.L.U.F.F campound main crucifix: ” LO! THE SON THE MAKER, THE KING OF KINGS, JESUS H.CHRIST ALMIGHTY, SHALL GRACE THESE GROUNDS ON THE 19th OF SEPTEMBER, IN THE FATHER’S YEAR OF 2014. […]


June 24, 2014 14

Big Masturbation has reportedly invented a device the runs on self-rape.

The hussy pictured above is an agent of Big Masturbation. Her face is blacked out to protect the precious youth of B.L.U.F.F.

She was spotted just outside the main gates of B.L.U.F.F. near the moat. She is a sinner, sent to flaunt her own sexual deviance and coerce the students of B.L.U.F.F. to self gratify.

Under no circumstance should this woman be allowed on the compound campus.

If you see this […]

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