Self-Rape Alert: Deadpool

March 14, 2016 12

SMN Safford, AZ-The tireless duty of Christian Parents to prevent and punish the vile sin of masturbation has become much harder (pardon the pun) since the opening of the box office smash, Deadpool in local theaters.

A disturbing parental alert has been issued by the Faith Advisory Parental Media Information and Liturgical Foundation (FAPMILF), the anti-masturbation in media arm of Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.).

“Overt and disgusting” Self Rape Content has been uncovered earning the film a FAPMILF color […]

BLUFF Turns Away Syrian Self-Rapists

November 17, 2015 12

SAFFORD-AZ Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts (BLUFF) has vowed not to accept any refugees from Syria into their campus in response to the revelation that masturbators may have entered Europe as part of a wave of migrants from the war-torn region. The move complicates the Obama administration’s plan to accept 10,000 Syrians into the country over the next year.

“I will not stand complicit to a policy that places our campus in Arizona in the hands of self-rapists,” a spokesperson for […]

SMN Self-Rape Alert: ‘Black Mass’

September 29, 2015 3

SMN Safford, AZ-A new waste of film depicting violence and masturbation mob activity has been released by Hollywood. “Black Mass,” starring Johnny Deep is the latest screed garnering a code red rating for excessive self-rape imagery and immoral content by the Faith Advisory Parental Media Information and Liturgical Foundation (FAPMILF), the self-celibacy-in-media arm of Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.).

Confounding the moralists at BLUFF, Hollywood continues to pump out masturbation epics that spill down upon our society in the […]

“Scientific Study” Requires Men to Masturbate to Pornography

August 13, 2015 43

A “friend” shared a completely disgusting article the other day that claimed a “scientific study” recently found that men ejaculate larger amounts of sperm when they’re with, what they called, “novel” women. I was initially suspicious of this posting, so I read further and realized that this was not a study conducted by faith scientists to help pure, normal men procreate with multiple women.

No, of course not.

This “scientific study” came to its conclusions by way of requiring the men involved […]

Masturbation Warning: Dear Abby

July 29, 2015 19

Jeanne Phillips, who writes the “Dear Abby” column, has come out as a self-rapist and proponent of the Satanic lifestyle as pushed on society by agents of Big Masturbation.

In her latest column, Ms. Phillips comforted a despondent, guilt riddled masturbator, Her advice included the statement, “…masturbation is normal. It is not depraved, a crime, or harmful to your health.” Just look at the filthy advice she gives this poor lost soul in the illustration below. (I won’t even go into […]

Lonnie Childs Succeeds In Getting Iggy Azalea Tour Canceled

May 30, 2015 5

Lonnie Childs has done it again! Word has come down from Iggy Azalea’s management that her ‘Great Escape’ tour has been officially canceled. The alleged rapper, Azalea, has long been considered a tool of the entertainment division of Big Masturbation. “Big Masturbation has used pop stars and singers as means to their filthy ends for years,” said Brother Parker Osgood of Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts in Safford, Arizona. “Stars like Iggy Azalea, Nicki Minaj, even going as far […]

Masturbation: Offensive Across All Seven Deadly Sins

April 28, 2015 22

Safford, AZ – For years, the Stop Masturbation Now! Ministries has warned of and demonstrated the evils of Masturbation. The absolute harm done when one inflicts self rape activity on his or her soul when finger dancing the skin flute or spelunking the sin cave is incontrovertible, but still, agents of Big Masturbation have implanted seeds of doubt within the minds of the gullible and non-normal populations of God’s earth.

A shocking study performed at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts […]

A World Gone Mad: Indian Women Advocate Masturbation

March 21, 2015 3

A horrifying glimpse into the unrestrained masturbation practices of the average lesser gendered member of Indian society was unceremoniously leaked onto the internet a few days ago. The video, an abomination even with its short 2 minute and 39 second run time, features several young, Indian lesser gendereds admitting to masturbation on camera and sharing their filthy masturbation stories with the world.

The girls, far too young to even be allowed out on the streets alone, give terrifying answers that are […]

WWE Releases Shameful Masturbation Fodder Video On YouTube

February 21, 2015 3

World Wrestling Entertainment sunk to a new low this weekend when they released a three-minute, forty seconds long video titled “Royal Rumble Match: WWE Royal Rumble 2014”. While on the surface it may appear that this is just the sports entertainment contest named in the title, unfortunately, it is nothing more than the WWE testing the waters to likely release a flood of masturbation fodder on YouTube. The video in question starts out normal enough and then unnecessarily zooms in […]

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