Post Tagged with: "Big Masturbation"

"My true happiness will be when I can free myself from  self rape and have a Same Race Normal Superior Sex Male Husband to think for me" -Krista

THE WOMAN WHO THINKS REDUCING THE MALE MASTURBATER POPULATION BY 90 PERCENT WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING

By TheRev Leroy Jenkins The Femitheist is a 22-year-old criminology student with a three-year-old. One angry day in 2012 she took to the Internet to outline the brutal concept of International Mastubater Castration Day. After posting it on YouTube she stepped out for a coffee. Returning home a few hours […]

Masturbation Triggered Japasian Landslides

Masturbation Triggered Japasian Landslides

HIROSHIMA, Japasia – The devastating landslides that rocked Japasia and caused numerous deaths and billions of yen worth of property damage were determined to have been triggered by massive and furious masturbation, according to scientists working for the Foundation For a Better Tomorrow. Although the communist government does not officially […]

by August 25, 2014 26 comments World
Anti-Masturbation Victory; Kari Byron To Leave ‘Mythbusters’ ScLIEnce Show

Anti-Masturbation Victory; Kari Byron To Leave ‘Mythbusters’ ScLIEnce Show

Discovery channel scLIEnce program, “Mythbusters”, took a controversial step by firing three cast members, including masturbator favorite Kari Byron. The official version of the story given by the network and the cast members was that the show will be “going in a new direction” next season. Fans of the scLIEnce […]

by August 24, 2014 16 comments Celebrity, Trending
Big Masturbation Announces ‘This Ain’t Stop Masturbation Now’ Film

Big Masturbation Announces ‘This Ain’t Stop Masturbation Now’ Film

Big Masturbation announced, by way of one of their pornography shell companies, that they plan to film a ‘porn parody’ of Lonnie Childs and His popular Stop Masturbation Now movement. At press time it was not known who has been cast to play the role of Our Savior, Lonnie Childs. […]

TSA Backscatter Scanners Successful In Reducing Masturbation

TSA Backscatter Scanners Successful In Reducing Masturbation

A two-year study by the Foundation For A Better Tomorrow found that the TSA Backscatter Anti-Terrorist Scanners not only kept America safe but also reduced the urge to masturbate in those travelers zapped by the machines. Faith Researcher and spokesman Paul Nelson explains, “We followed travelers that went through the Backscatter […]

by August 23, 2014 7 comments Politics, Trending, World
Bionic “Glov” Masturbator in Development

Bionic “Glov” Masturbator in Development

SMN Labs-The newest threat from Big Masturbation is soon to become retail. A group of non-normal perverts in Tampa, FL have started “Glovin Life” to promote the sin delights females can acheive with a device named simply, ‘The Glov.” Ladies with carpel tunnel pain can now experience dip-diddlings and pounding […]

by August 12, 2014 12 comments Science
Worrying Rise Of ‘Masturbator On Masturbator’ Violent Crime

Worrying Rise Of ‘Masturbator On Masturbator’ Violent Crime

A new study from the Foundation For A Better Tomorrow reveals a startling increase of what experts are referring to as “masturbator on masturbator violent crime” or “MOMVC”. A MOMVC is a violent act committed by and/or against a known or alleged masturbator. In many cases, such as the one discussed in […]

by August 12, 2014 3 comments Trending
Christian Anti-Masturbation Group Sues Other Christian Anti-Masturbation Group For $350 Million Claiming Trademark Infringement

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group Sues Other Christian Anti-Masturbation Group For $350 Million Claiming Trademark Infringement

Creve Coeur, MO — A federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization claims that another federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization has violated their intellectual property and is now suing for millions. Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and their parent organization Stop Masturbation Now have accused Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Shark of using the same […]

by August 6, 2014 14 comments Fappy, Money
Irresponsible ‘Share’ Campaign Breeding Ground For Disease

Irresponsible ‘Share’ Campaign Breeding Ground For Disease

Sweet drink manufacturer, Coca-Cola, recently got the idea of promoting their product by getting people to “share” it with someone else. Sharing a drink, any drink, with someone infected with an illness is a really bad idea as you can get sick from this action. The sheer number of Worldwide Web […]

by August 4, 2014 7 comments Lifestyle, Trending
Top 5 Celebrities Who Have Died From Masturbation.

Top 5 Celebrities Who Have Died From Masturbation.

WATERTOWN CT- (SMNNN) Masturbation, or self-rape, as the sinful practice of self-sexual gratification is known, has long been a leading cause of death. Over the decades, Hollywood has had more than it’s fair share of auto-erotic-suicides. Here’s a list of the top five.   5)- Ernest Borgnine Mr Borgnine, star […]

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