Post Tagged with: "Childs Youth"

BLUFF Calls for a Boycott of the New Star Wars Movie

BLUFF Calls for a Boycott of the New Star Wars Movie

Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (BLUFF), along with the N.A.A.W.P., has announced a boycott and will schedule protests of the new Star Wars movie on the grounds that it discriminates against Self Celibate Normals. In a press release issued by the B.L.U.F.F. Legal Action Foundation (BLUFF-LAF), Brother Lonnie Childs’ words […]

by January 5, 2016 15 comments Celebrity
Queen-Live at the Rainbow ‘74

Queen-Live at the Rainbow ‘74

We may have figured we’d heard the last of them, but the sinister homosexual noise band, Queen, has released another splattering of dread onto the faces of the public. The deeply offensive tracks in their current live album were actually taken from a concert that occurred years ago. The music […]

by September 24, 2014 4 comments Celebrity
Childs Youth Establishes Beachhead In China

Childs Youth Establishes Beachhead In China

Hebei Province – CHINA (SMNNN) The growing Anti-Masturbation Youth Movement, the Childs Youth, recently fired the first shot in the attempt to convert the Chinese mainland to the ways of masturbation abstinence. A gang of 11 confirmed Childs Youth members, all between the ages of seven and twelve, killed an eleven […]

by August 1, 2014 1 comment World
Coming Soon To A Campus Near You – Self-Rape Whistle

Coming Soon To A Campus Near You – Self-Rape Whistle

Dr. Paul Horner, a sociology professor at BYU and has just thrown down the gauntlet in the war against self rape with his new invention. He has designed a ‘Self-Rape Whistle’ to help protect today’s youth against the constant barrage of temptation. “The idea is simple” says Dr. Horner. “Whenever […]

by July 25, 2014 49 comments Morals, Self-Rape Prevention
Normal Race Non-Masturbating Girl

Parenting tips: How to raise her to be a Normal Non-Masturbator

Letters From our Readers to TheRev By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins Dear Reverend Jenkins,  In this day of modern distractions such as FaceSpace, Twiddle, Samsung iPhones,  and Rap Music, how am I to raise my sweet daughter to become a Normal Non-Masturbating young lady?  Sincerely, A Concerned White Dad    Dear […]

#FacebookDown; Facebook Paying The Karmic Price

#FacebookDown; Facebook Paying The Karmic Price

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA — (SMNNN) Just days after the unjustified removal of the Stop Masturbation Now Facebook netpage, a mysterious karmic retribution occurred as millions of international users of the netsite were unable to login and harass Lonvidians. Users across the globe were met with an error message on […]

by June 19, 2014 3 comments Foreigners, World
“Childs Youth” Gang Takes Over Australian Radio Station

“Childs Youth” Gang Takes Over Australian Radio Station

FITZROY CROSSING, AUSTRALIA — (SMNNN) A group of children loyal to the growing “Stop Masturbation Now, Australia!” movement took over a radio station in Fitzroy Crossing last week. The gang of children, aged 6 to 11, who refer to themselves as “Childs Youth” in a nod to our savior, Lonnie […]

by June 13, 2014 0 comments Foreigners, World
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