The Environmental Impact of Masturbation

July 18, 2014 115


It’s common knowledge that masturbation turns ordinary people into criminals and perfectly healthy people into Stephen Hawking. But what about our planet? Is the Earth feeling the sting of masturbation?


Your average masturbator burns between 50 to 150 calories with every masturbation session, depending on factors such as: height, weight, gender, race, sexual orientation, and political affiliation. The calories used for masturbation increases with every repeated masturbation episode. To put that into perspective, a whole potato or a hotdog has around […]