Masturbation is Russian Roulette!

October 20, 2014 11

Heart attacks, blindness and ligament damage (Devil’s Elbow) are all diseases associated with self-rape.  Whenever you masturbate you’re playing Russian Roulette!  Your next stroke of the sin-sword or ringing of the Devil’s Doorbell could be your last!  Do you really want to go out like British rocker Michael Hutchinson or Oriental Kung-Fu fighter David

Ebola Mutation Transmitted via Masturbation

October 12, 2014 8

The Foundation For a Better Tomorrow in association with B.L.U.F.F. has confirmed that a new super strain of Ebola is passed to hosts through masturbation. The virus clings to the outer skin palettes and is launched airborne at the moment of masturbatory climactic release, becoming airborne and susceptible to transmission to anyone breathing in the tainted air.

The virus is strengthened by the humid and grimy climates common to the maturbationist’s environment. The virus is transferred to the hands by coughing […]

Mother Milk, A Good Start For Your Child?

October 9, 2014 9

We all know eating the wrong food has many unhealthy side effects, like heart disease and cancer.  But no one knew indulging the wrong foods also ensures one will surrender quickly to the sinful pleasures of masturbation. The earlier a child eats the wrong foods, the more harmful consequences in the longer term will be.

Recent research from B.L.U.F.F. University BLUFF, Department of Food Technology, has shown how harmful mother milk can be for young children, despite claims by doctors who […]

The Finger Sniff Test-Where Non-Normal Arguments Fail

October 6, 2014 19

B.L.U.F.F. – My Dear Friends in Christ, you have been recently enlightened on this Holy Webpage with guidelines to prevent masturbation in your young daughter’s life. The B.L.U.F.F. Finger Sniff Test was presented with the blessings of the Faith Facts Eldership. It has also been proven to be a most effective method in curtailing the occurence of masturbation sin within our daughters.

Recently, this publication has come under scrutiny for this column. Non-normal masturbationists have organized protests and DOS attacks against […]

Sale on B.L.U.F.F. Blinders! Button her Down…

October 1, 2014 2

Men! Do you take a look around and wonder what kind of hell has gotten into women today? Does your spouse’s eyes frequently wander toward some damned afternoon-killing mall sale where she’s going to run into some jabber-mouthed friend to yak with for hours on end pretending to hide her insecurity stemming from shear unmitigated materialism and greed? Does your wife then speak with these same women on the phone or type signal sender device for God knows how many […]

It’s never too early to save their soul

September 24, 2014 11

The FaithFact Engineers have finally solved the age old dilemma of how to teach your infant not to masturbate. With this effective, yet stylishly functional centerpiece, you can proudly display your self-rape free Christian values and keep an eye on your little ones while keeping Satan from tempting them to Shake their little SinSticks or go Spelunking in their tiny SinCaves.

Each handsome centerpiece is lovingly handcrafted by our Normal Same Race Branch Lonvidian craftsmen, hand finished by our lesser gendered […]

The Menstrual Hut

September 23, 2014 20

The Menstrual Hut
Procedures and Guidelines

*Note: The following is a living document subject to refinement, adjustment, and reinterpretation by Brother Lonnie in conjunction with the B.L.U.F.F. Council of Elders (Eldership). Revisions may occur without notice; however, they become Campus Law as soon as they are bound to print. Any or all laws contained within the B.L.U.F.F. Handbook may be superseded by the King Lonald Holy Bible or by proclamation from Brother Lonnie or the Council of Elders (Eldership).

Brother Lonnie’s University of […]

A Button-down Appointed Spouse…

September 15, 2014 6

Brother Lonald explains to his followers,

The need for Christianity to be at the forefront of preventing self-rape and other flesh sins is apparent. The devil seeks to destroy your soul by breaking down your human structure. Satan knows that a human being built with Jesus as the foundation is strong and resistant to hell’s fires.

Satan also knows that He can destroy this foundation through lust and suggestion. His use of the weaker female sex to break down the masculine order […]

STOP Masturbation NOW on the Air Tonight!

September 3, 2014 15

STOP Masturbation NOW co-founder and high elder, Senator August Weisz, will be On the Air with Mike Allen on Armed Radio TONIGHT live at 8 PM Pacific.  The good Senator will be addressing the STOP Masturbation NOW anti-fap movement about 20 mins into the broadcast.  If you would like to speak with August, the call-in number is (866) 225-5401.

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