Brother Lonnie Accused of Patronizing Ashley Madison

August 28, 2015 9

As the fallout of the Ashley Madison masturbation scandal reaches its climax it’s to be expected the LIEberal elements of the netsites would try to tarnish Brother Lonnie’s saintly visage with tawdry claims that his e-mail account was among the millions exposed by hackers.  The notorious lesbian netsite hacker known simply as “Salazar” has claimed that she found a suspicious e-mail address among the millions released from Ashley Madison internal servers.  The e-mail address in question is NOTlonniechilds6969@stopmasturbationnow.org.  In a […]

Christian Anti-Masturbation’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation After Accepting Award

February 10, 2015 4

Tybee Island, GA — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested yesterday for masturbating in public. The mascot along with his organization, Stop Masturbation Now, recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which they claim focused on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of masturbation.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, whose real name is 36-year-old Paul Horner, was arrested outside Tybee Vacation Rentals located in the Tybee Islands […]

Mom Calls 911 On Masturbating Teenage Son; Boy Arrested, Charged With New ‘Self-Rape’ State Law

November 25, 2014 24

An Arizona teenager is being charged and held without bail, facing 3-15 years in prison over a new ‘self-rape’ state law implemented by AZ Gov. Jan Brewer last month. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP

Phoenix, AZ — A Phoenix boy is behind bars tonight after his mother called 9-1-1 when she found her son in his room, watching pornography and masturbating. Phoenix Police were quick to respond, arresting 15-year-old Paul Horner, who attends North Valley High School in Phoenix, Arizona. […]

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin To Star In The Big Lebowski 2 Which Begins Filming In January 2015

October 10, 2014 4

The Big Lebowski 2 has been announced starring Jeff Bridges, John Goodman and Bill Murray.

Hollywood, CA — Exciting news for Big Lebowski fans around the world as a sequel to the cult classic has just been announced.

Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, directors of the first Lebowski movie, confirmed with E! Online they will both be returning to direct the sequel.

“We’re thrilled to be coming back to film a second part to this classic movie,” Ethan Coen said. “For years we’ve […]

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group Sues Other Christian Anti-Masturbation Group For $350 Million Claiming Trademark Infringement

August 6, 2014 14

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin seen here at Westview Elementary School in Apple Valley, Minnesota while on his 31-city nationwide anti-masturbation school tour. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP

Creve Coeur, MO — A federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization claims that another federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization has violated their intellectual property and is now suing for millions.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and their parent organization Stop Masturbation Now have accused Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Shark of using the same name of their famous […]

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation

July 7, 2014 18

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin seen here at Westview Elementary School in Apple Valley, Minnesota while on his 31-city nationwide anti-masturbation school tour.

Phoenix, AZ — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested Sunday for masturbating in public. The organization recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which it says focused on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of masturbation.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, whose real name is 35-year-old […]

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