Pelosi Outburst Caused By Masturbation Addiction

August 5, 2014 14

In a shocking display of unprofessionalism, liberal House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, chased Republican Tom Marino across the House floor during a recent debate. Pelosi, allegedly offended by statements Marino made about her party’s lack of leadership lashed out at Marino, asserting that she did try to do something about the border issue while the liberals had majority control and that his statement was not true. “Yes it is true,” Marino replied directly to Pelosi. “I did the research on it. You might want […]

The Faces of Masturbation

July 31, 2014 4

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Friends don’t let Friends Masturbate.

 

Do you or someone you love masturbate? 

Help is Here

God Bless,

TheRev Leroy

The Five Sins of Buying a Sex Toy

July 30, 2014 23

My dear friends in Christ. My daily street ministry preaching Brother Lonnie’s SMN message takes me frequently to the local Adult Book/Head Shop in my town’s downtown area. The best ears for Lonnie’s Holy Word are those most infected with sin.

Here’s the truth. Masturbation IS a sin, punishable by an eternity in hell. Secondly, the secular world, under the leadership of Satan, has stomped the peddle to the floor on sexual temptations designed to stain little Johnny’s drawers and dampen […]

SMN Introduces Uncle Lonnie’s “No-Wankie Blankie”

July 25, 2014 78

Parents, Do you ever lie awake at night worrying your children are masturbating?

I know I sure did, that was until I started tucking my 23 Same Race Normal Children to bed safely wrapped up in the Uncle Lonnie’s “No-Wankie Blankie”.

Now I can rest assured that my boys will not be tempted to shake their SinSticks or the girls will not be Jibbering their Girly Bits.

No more

hourly finger sniff checks for the girls
no more crusty tube socks in the boys […]

Girl Killed by Meteor Strike While Masturbating

July 25, 2014 43

Chelyabinsk, Russian Communist C.C.C.P (SMNN)

Thanks to a huge out-pouring of public information, B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow’s informational staff have found evidence that a 16-year-old female was killed by a meteorite impact, while masturbating outside, during the Chelyabinsk Meteor Incident in February of 2013.

Magda Leshniac had been forbidden from masturbating within her home by her father Gregorz, who is a devout Ukrainian Orthodox Lonnistian, and was banished from her home, and sent to live outside.

Said Mr. Leshniac, […]

Lonnie’s Followers Use Weird Trick to Achieve FaithGasm

July 21, 2014 19

 

SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Here at Stop Masturbation Now, we eschew the practice of ejaculatory orgasm as a wasteful and sinful release. Our mission is to educate you of its negative physical and spiritual consequences. Ever since Onan spilled his seed upon the ground, men have been shooting putty with their sin stick and women have spent a lot of time spelunking in their sin caves. The results are just about everything that’s wrong with society – which we have covered […]

“A Team Effort to Stop Self-Rape!”

July 16, 2014 9

For Immediate Release – (Safford, AZ) – In 2015, efforts to educate parents and young girls on the dangers of self-rape will take a giant leap forward. Teaming up with the Girl Scouts of the USA, Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin will become the “unofficial mascot” for Girl Scout Cookies. Sponsored by Monsanto, Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and STOP Masturbation NOW focus on educating children about the dangerous consequences of masturbation and the benefits of genetically modified foods.

Mrs. Parisi, CCO of […]

Christophobia – the Natural Result of Self-Rape

July 14, 2014 12

My dear friends in Christ. May God bless you in HIS name and bestow special graces upon you for reading this most holy webpage.

Jesus knows that the Internet is rife with all manner of deviance and uncouth content. The devil uses the Big Masturbation coalition of evil to infiltrate media and government to lure the weak-minded among us to the gateway sin of self-rape. In doing so, the affected mind will grow to distrust and oppose the goodwill espoused by […]

B.L.U.F.F. Minister & 2 Elders charged in “Alleged” torturing boy, 13, for masturbation incident

July 10, 2014 8

By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins

SAFFORD, AZ. (BLUFF Press, LLC.) The pastor and two members of a Safford, AZ church pleaded not guilty Monday to state charges of beating and threatening the life of a 13-year-old boy caught masturbating into the holy water, who was forced to dig his own grave, authorities said.

Brother Cassidy Pen, 56, Paul Horner, 24, and Nikita Shalavin Jr., 30, allegedly tortured the boy in the church-run group home where he lived, according to a witness report in […]

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