Post Tagged with: "female masturbation"

B.L.U.F.F. Female Masturbation Detection

B.L.U.F.F. Female Masturbation Detection

SMN -My dear friends in Christ. As you are well aware, the fight against the sin of self rape is an ongoing process, one that is never finished. The holy bible, being the first and only needed reference on the topic of morality, contains certain instructions and responsibilities that Christian […]

by August 8, 2014 30 comments Self-Rape Prevention
3 Scare Films With Horrifying Masturbation Scenes

3 Scare Films With Horrifying Masturbation Scenes

Typically, when lazy Hollywood filmmakers need something shocking to add to their film, they’ll add explosions, kill off one of their actors or introduce fake characters via digital technology. More refined filmmakers have been known to prey on the fears of morality by including shocking sexual and masturbatory scenes in their […]

by August 7, 2014 11 comments Celebrity, Lifestyle
Pelosi Outburst Caused By Masturbation Addiction

Pelosi Outburst Caused By Masturbation Addiction

In a shocking display of unprofessionalism, liberal House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, chased Republican Tom Marino across the House floor during a recent debate. Pelosi, allegedly offended by statements Marino made about her party’s lack of leadership lashed out at Marino, asserting that she did try to do something about the border […]

by August 5, 2014 14 comments Politics, Spot a Masturbator
Don’t Diddle & Drive

Don’t Diddle & Drive

The Faces of Masturbation

The Faces of Masturbation

Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Before Masturbation After Masturbation Friends don’t let Friends Masturbate.   Do you or someone you love masturbate?  Help is Here God Bless, […]

by July 31, 2014 4 comments Gateway Drug
The Five Sins of Buying a Sex Toy

The Five Sins of Buying a Sex Toy

My dear friends in Christ. My daily street ministry preaching Brother Lonnie’s SMN message takes me frequently to the local Adult Book/Head Shop in my town’s downtown area. The best ears for Lonnie’s Holy Word are those most infected with sin. Here’s the truth. Masturbation IS a sin, punishable by […]

by July 30, 2014 23 comments Self-Rape Prevention
SMN Introduces Uncle Lonnie’s “No-Wankie Blankie”

SMN Introduces Uncle Lonnie’s “No-Wankie Blankie”

Parents, Do you ever lie awake at night worrying your children are masturbating? I know I sure did, that was until I started tucking my 23 Same Race Normal Children to bed safely wrapped up in the Uncle Lonnie’s “No-Wankie Blankie”. Now I can rest assured that my boys will […]

The Chelyabinsk meteor injured many people.

Girl Killed by Meteor Strike While Masturbating

Chelyabinsk, Russian Communist C.C.C.P (SMNN) Thanks to a huge out-pouring of public information, B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow’s informational staff have found evidence that a 16-year-old female was killed by a meteorite impact, while masturbating outside, during the Chelyabinsk Meteor Incident in February of 2013. Magda Leshniac […]

by July 25, 2014 42 comments Death, Foreigners, Science, Spot a Masturbator, Weather, World
Lonnie’s Followers Use Weird Trick to Achieve FaithGasm

Lonnie’s Followers Use Weird Trick to Achieve FaithGasm

  SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Here at Stop Masturbation Now, we eschew the practice of ejaculatory orgasm as a wasteful and sinful release. Our mission is to educate you of its negative physical and spiritual consequences. Ever since Onan spilled his seed upon the ground, men have been shooting putty with […]

A young girl gets her first taste of Fappy outside of a grocery store in Safford, AZ

“A Team Effort to Stop Self-Rape!”

For Immediate Release – (Safford, AZ) – In 2015, efforts to educate parents and young girls on the dangers of self-rape will take a giant leap forward. Teaming up with the Girl Scouts of the USA, Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin will become the “unofficial mascot” for Girl Scout Cookies. Sponsored […]

by July 16, 2014 9 comments Disciples, Fappy, Morals, Self-Rape Prevention
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