Self-Celibacy in History: Dunkirk

March 6, 2017 15

History books are most certainly slanted by the forces of Big Masturbation. In modern times, it’s a literal crime that our precious youth must be forced to incorporate horrible inaccuracies and filth interjected from the […]

A Third World Christmas

December 18, 2014 4

By: Cassidy Pen, USMC (ret.) My dear friends in Christ through the Lonaldian Way, as you hopefully are putting the finishing touches on your preparations to celebrate the Birthday of Baby Jesus with your appointed spouses […]

Top Five Animals To Go Extinct From Masturbation

November 8, 2014 27

NATURAL HISTORY-(SMNNN) Throughout the approximately 8,500 years the world has existed, many animals have gone extinct, but only a few notable animals have gone extinct from masturbation. Here’s a list of the top five: 1) […]

My Name is Lonnie Childs

September 22, 2014 73

Hello, my name is Lonnie Childs and I am the founder and president of the STOP Masturbation NOW self-celibacy movement.  Welcome to my netsite. Many years ago, while living at home as a 25 year-old […]

5 Greatest Non-Masturbators In History

August 4, 2014 19

  WATERTOWN- CT (SMNNN) Throughout the ages, the scourge of self-rape sought to destroy all mankind held dear. Yet some great primitives in ancient times, avoided the plauge of masturbation, and rose above sullying themselves […]

A History Lesson to the Masturbators

July 27, 2014 67

SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Masturbation is a sin that breaks God’s heart. Thus, the true soldiers of God have always been at war with The Masturbator.  Professor Milton Grits explains how in the 20th Century the […]

Faithfact #448 – T-Rex’s Short Arms

July 24, 2014 17

DID YOU KNOW?   The mighty dragon, T-Rex, once had arms like that of a man but was PUNISHED by God for masturbating and cursed with the short arms he now has today.