Won’t You Please Help?

September 2, 2015 18

For immediate release:

“My brothers and sisters…I, Lonald “Lonnie” Childs, having fought the scourge of masturbation for decades now must come to you in our most desperate hour.  The 30% tithe of their gross income that my followers pay has in the past been sufficient to fund my ministry and keep me in the lifestyle of which I’ve been accustomed.  The recent victories we have scored against Big Masturbation have caused their donors such as the Obamas, the Clintons and George […]