Post Tagged with: "Lonnie Childs"

New Research Demonstrates Obama Masturbates More Than Any Other President

New Research Demonstrates Obama Masturbates More Than Any Other President

Safford, AZ-  In groundbreaking research released today, it was proven that President Barack Obama masturbates more than any other President. The independent research think tank Foundation For a Better Tomorrow detailed months of research that found that the 44th President masturbates at double the rate of the next high-masturbation President. […]

NFL kicking sensation on short list of candidates for South Dakota's Council of Morality

Tina’s Law Passed in South Dakota

As part of STOP Masturation NOW’s ongoing mission to eradicate masturbation, Lonnie Childs has sponsored legislature in 18 of the 50 states to make masturbation illegal. Tina’s Law (named after black pop singing sensation Tina Turner) makes masturbation illegal and sets up a “Council of Morality” appointed by Brother Lonnie […]

Argentinian Man Masturbates 83 Times In 24 Hour Period – New World Record

Argentinian Man Masturbates 83 Times In 24 Hour Period – New World Record

La Falda, Argentina – Residents of a small town in Argentina are celebrating today as one of their own citizens has become the new record holder in the field of masturbation. From 8pm Thursday evening until 8pm Friday night, 22-year-old Hugo Lopez from the city of La Falda masturbated a […]

by July 21, 2014 15 comments Foreigners, Morals, Sports, World
Lonnie’s Followers Use Weird Trick to Achieve FaithGasm

Lonnie’s Followers Use Weird Trick to Achieve FaithGasm

  SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Here at Stop Masturbation Now, we eschew the practice of ejaculatory orgasm as a wasteful and sinful release. Our mission is to educate you of its negative physical and spiritual consequences. Ever since Onan spilled his seed upon the ground, men have been shooting putty with […]

Disgusting Heckler found to be Filthy Pervert

SMN and Lonnie Childs Heckler Charged with Masturbating in Front of Two Girls

HARVEY, Ill. (WLS) A man was arrested and charged after Harvey residents caught him masturbating in front of two girls in the south suburb, police said. Witnesses said he repeatedly claimed that his perverted act and shameful display of his small genitals was related to his anger at finding out […]

by July 21, 2014 7 comments Celebrity, Spot a Masturbator
The Top 5 Things You Need To Tell Your Child About Masturbation

The Top 5 Things You Need To Tell Your Child About Masturbation

-Safford, AZ Masturbation is a terrible disease and a depraved, sinful act. The below are critical “tips” for parents of any age. As we know, children may begin to explore their sin zones and masturbating at any age- watch them. Watch them closely. You never know when Satan enters your […]

Police Endorsed Anti-Masturbation Program Nets Incredible Results

Police Endorsed Anti-Masturbation Program Nets Incredible Results

SAFFORD, ARIZ. — (SMNNN) Borrowing from a popular anti-prostitution program in Phoenix, Arizona, the Safford, Arizona police department has started Project L.O.N.N.I.E. in an attempt to get masturbators off the streets. Project L.O.N.N.I.E. (Leading Outlaw Non-Normals Into Enlightenment) was ushered in when Lonnie Childs of Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith […]

by July 17, 2014 21 comments Self-Rape Prevention
Web of Trust (WOT)…Agents of Big Masturbation

Web of Trust (WOT)…Agents of Big Masturbation

The once reliable “Web of Trust” (WOT) add-in for Firefox and Bing-based Browsers has given in to both real and imagined sanctions and bad will brought forth by Big Masturbation against this website. It is truly a sad thing when another reputable guardian for our children gives in to the […]

by July 16, 2014 7 comments Self-Rape Prevention
5 Memers To Help Spread Lonnie’s Word

5 Memers To Help Spread Lonnie’s Word

From time to time Lonnie asks us to share memers on His netsite to better spread the word to your friends and loved normals. Here is another installment of five memers that help spread the love and joy that Lonnie brings all of us each and every day. Print them […]

by July 16, 2014 8 comments Self-Rape Prevention
Sorry, lesser gendered campound member; the LonBot2000 is seeing red. Back to the Menstrual Hut with you!

3 Amazing Pieces Of Anti-Masturbation Technology

Just this past month of May in this, our year of America 2014, Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts had it’s first annual Technology Month. It was a grand affair that culminated in showcasing some cutting edge technology in the fight against masturbation even if there are some fantastic porn […]

by July 14, 2014 25 comments History, Trending
Help Stop Masturbation Now!
Get the latest content first.
We respect your privacy.