Web of Trust (WOT)…Agents of Big Masturbation

July 16, 2014 7

Web of “Trust” targets SMN.Org using ridiculous ratings.

The once reliable “Web of Trust” (WOT) add-in for Firefox and Bing-based Browsers has given in to both real and imagined sanctions and bad will brought forth by Big Masturbation against this website. It is truly a sad thing when another reputable guardian for our children gives in to the lures of self-rape.

WOT claims StopMasturbationNow.org rates “very poor” in trustworthiness and child safety!

There is no clear basis for this ruling. Anyone that reads […]

5 Memers To Help Spread Lonnie’s Word

July 16, 2014 8

From time to time Lonnie asks us to share memers on His netsite to better spread the word to your friends and loved normals. Here is another installment of five memers that help spread the love and joy that Lonnie brings all of us each and every day. Print them out and share them with your prayer group, with the man who drives your bus to work or with law enforcement officers on their lunch break. You can also download […]

3 Amazing Pieces Of Anti-Masturbation Technology

July 14, 2014 25

Just this past month of May in this, our year of America 2014, Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts had it’s first annual Technology Month. It was a grand affair that culminated in showcasing some cutting edge technology in the fight against masturbation. Today, I’m focusing on three incredible innovations in anti-masturbation technology that the average Lonvidian is aware of, but the deviants that linger in the comments on this netsite may not have seen yet.

[We’ve added a section on […]

Anticipation and Excitement as the Day of Hitching Approaches

July 12, 2014 5

Safford, AZ – July 16th – it promises to be a day filled with magic and love at the BLUFF Campound, as dozens of

Young females glance around excitedly as our young Men make their decisions at last year’s Choosing.

young men will be marrying their Initial Spouses in the Day of Hitching annual celebration. A tradition for Lonvidians, the Day of Hitching is approached with both excitement and dread for participants. Young men, barely

bearded at all, will look upon the eligible […]

Jesus To Attend “Lonnie Days Celebration” in September

July 7, 2014 12

He’s coming! Repent now!

SAFFORD-ARIZONA (SMNNN)

Jesus H. Christ Almighty, son of God, and personal best friend forever of Lonald Childs, has just been confirmed as the guest of honor of the 17th annual “Lonnie Days” holy celebration.

Says Metatron, Seraphim Voice of The Lords, in a brilliant immolation of the B.L.U.F.F campound main crucifix: ” LO! THE SON THE MAKER, THE KING OF KINGS, JESUS H.CHRIST ALMIGHTY, SHALL GRACE THESE GROUNDS ON THE 19th OF SEPTEMBER, IN THE FATHER’S YEAR OF 2014. […]

Lonnie’s Address To America – July 4th, 1963

July 4, 2014 19

As a devout Lonvidian and student of the history of this Great Nation we all call America, I choose to spend my day reflecting on the many ways that Lonnie Childs has changed this country for the better. One such moment came to mind that I felt relevant to share today on His Holy netsite. During the tumultuous 1960s, when masturbating hippies threatened to overturn the order of things and a false flag war in Vietnam was set to distract […]

Born after 1980? You’ll have no idea what this device is.

July 1, 2014 24

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA. – If you were born after 1980 you’ve probably never seen this device before, and you likely don’t even know what it was used for.  But if you were born in the age of self-control, you’re parents may have made you wear this, and if so, you’re likely thanking them today.

This male anti-masturbation device, known as an “Ouch Pouch,” was once so common you could pick one up at any gas station, just in case that […]

[UNCOVERED]: The Big Masturbation Plot to Self-Rape Our Children

July 1, 2014 104

 

They want to turn our kids into perverts!

The launch of Stop Masturbation Now’s Anti-Masturbation Cross™ has met with unqualified success over the past twenty-four hours, crashing our holy netsite with pre-orders and projecting our bold design to seemingly every corner of the internet.  Alas, no good turn goes unpunished – as it seems that the forces of Big Masturbation have already infringed upon our designs for the Anti-Masturbation Cross™ by producing several knock-off prototypes of the device which have been […]

Jonah Hill issues apology to Lonnie Childs

June 10, 2014 3

Jonah Hill

LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD, CA (SMNNN) Professional weight loss advocate and part time actor, Jonah Hill told the media that he lost his cool with a masturbator and is completely devastated that he did not work harder to convert them.

Liberal Media stronghold, TMZ, released video footage of Hill telling a half naked man “It’s okay, I slip up sometimes and bat around the sin sword also.”

Hill, who was nominated for Academy Awards for his roles in the 2011 film “Pirates of […]

Lonnie Childs Loves You

June 3, 2014 3

 

God Bless, TheRev Leroy Jenkins

TheRev Leroy Jenkins is a Sr. Staff Writer for BLUFF Press, LLC.

785-274-0325 or

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