Top Five Animals To Go Extinct From Masturbation

November 8, 2014 27

NATURAL HISTORY-(SMNNN)

Throughout the approximately 8,500 years the world has existed, many animals have gone extinct, but only a few notable animals have gone extinct from masturbation.

Here’s a list of the top five:

1) The Tasmanian Tiger.

The thylacine was the first large cat to go extinct from masturbation

2) The Great Normal Rhinoceros

Though his name suggests he is a great beast, the Great Normal Rhinoceros became extinct because of hornplay and masturbation.

3) The Do-Do Bird

Like seriously, do we even have to explain how […]

Brother Lonald Foils the Devil Again

September 5, 2014 17

Note: The following is a excerpt from the King Lonald Holy Bible, a more accurate account of God and Christ.

…and so it was that Brother Lonald, adhering to the Lord’s Calling to deliver the message of self rape abstinence to the afflicted third world countries of tribal Africa, was confronted by terrorist hijackers aboard a DC10 en route to Kenya.

The leader of the sinful band of sand tribals, Ali Haja Aboodabi, ordered his men to commandeer the aircraft shortly after […]

Unprotected Masturbation: Know The Risks!!!

September 3, 2014 21

 

Unprotected masturbation is the leading cause of STDs, and here is why:

Take the number of men and women that engage in unprotected masturbation and multiply that by the number of: door knobs, toilet flushing handles, crosswalk signal buttons, drinking fountains, handshakes, etc. What you end up with is an STD pandemic!

The only way to truly protect yourself is through self-abstinence. That means not touching your sin zone, with the same hands that makes contact with the secular masturbating world. Going […]

Say “NO” To Pornographics!

August 25, 2014 12

A recent survey shows 85 percent of rapes and molestations are reenactments of a porn video/DVD. This means every time someone downloads an internet pornographic, there is an 85 percent chance that it will eventually result in a rape or molestation of a child. 

It’s not normal to give kids beer to help them “relax” – but on masturbation, it is.

If you, or someone you know, is hurting children with masturbation please call (888) 276-6760 (operators are standing by).

 

This message of […]

“Supermoon” Caused By Masturbation?

August 11, 2014 13

Faith scientists have been working around the clock to get the word out that the recent “supermoon” is actually an anomaly to be feared. While mainstream sciLIEnce likes to describe the alleged “supermoon” as relatively harmless and “just” the closest the moon comes to Earth during its alleged orbit around Earth, a group of faith scientists have proven by way of faith fact that the cause of a “supermoon” is quite alarming.

“The moon itself is fine during a ‘supermoon’, it’s what […]

Michael Hutchinson, Lead Singer of British Band INXS, Suffers Humiliating Masturbation Death

August 10, 2014 29

Hear that sound?  That’s the sound of Satan accepting a new victim into his realm.  Michael Hutchinson, lead singer of British death metal band INXS, died recently due to masturbation-related complications.  From an outsider’s perspective Michael seemed to have a fulfilling yet wild life.  He had money, fame and respect.  He had sold out concerts and hit records.  Unfortunately, however, Michael had a devil inside him.  A devil that seduced him with the irresistible song of self-rape.  Over the years, […]

Irresponsible ‘Share’ Campaign Breeding Ground For Disease

August 4, 2014 7

Sweet drink manufacturer, Coca-Cola, recently got the idea of promoting their product by getting people to “share” it with someone else. Sharing a drink, any drink, with someone infected with an illness is a really bad idea as you can get sick from this action. The sheer number of Worldwide Web users flocking to reputable answer sites like “Yahoo Questions” and “MedHelp” asking a variant of the “can I get sick from sharing a drink” question is staggering.

Unfortunately, the answer to […]

BREAKING NEWS: BLUFF Discovers Cure for Ebola Virus

August 2, 2014 9

By TheRev Leroy Jenkins

SAFFORD, AZ (BLUFF Press, LLC) BLUFF Sexologist and lead HomoGay™ Conversion Therapist Nikita Shalavin has stumbled upon a cure for the Bad Ebola Zaire Virus using FiathFact™ proven methods that also cure HomoGayness™, The Bad AIDS, and Mental Retards.  Ebola virus disease (EVD) or Ebola hemorrhagic fever (EHF) is the human disease caused by the Ebola virus and causes those afflicted with it to die from organ failure and bleeding to death from all bodily orifices.  The Ebola virus was discovered in […]

The Faces of Masturbation

July 31, 2014 4

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Before Masturbation

After Masturbation

Friends don’t let Friends Masturbate.

 

Do you or someone you love masturbate? 

Help is Here

God Bless,

TheRev Leroy

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