War. Earthquakes. Terrorists. Pot. Cancer. Snakes. Masturbation. Human life is unpredictable and fragile. Disaster may strike at any point. No amount of money, fame, or success will save those of us that have sinned in […]
Have you ever been afflicted by an Inappropriate Office Boner (I.O.B.) at work? It’s an embarrassing condition that can be caused by one of the following three things: too-tight slacks, the tawdry new intern and […]
As we all know, masturbation deaths come in fours. Please share these memers with your friends, family, and co-workers. Praise!
Please print out this helpful guide and hand it out to everyone you know. Praise!
(StopMasturbationNOW)—After nuclear power was proven 100 percent safe, Godzilla producers needed to find another more realistic causation for a creature like Godzilla to exist. Masturbation was the only thing that fit from a scientific point […]
Masturbation is a gateway drug to rape. It also leads to sexual dysfunction, erodes family values, and is a top ten cause of disease. – Lonnie Childs