CHAPEL HILL, N.C. A report, called the Wainstein report after U.S. Justice Department official Kenneth Wainstein who conducted the investigation, has found that over the course of two decades nearly 3100 University of North Carolina […]
The Wicked Wildlife Federation, in association with agents from Big Masturbation have released a disturbing video. The grainy, shaking, out-of-focus footage shows a psychotic panda with glazed eyes, oblivious to the world, shaking his sin stick with […]
Faithfact #698: Stimulating your sin zones with dangerous foreign objects or people is considered masturbation.
I happened upon a dark corner of the worldwide web recently and found a disturbing trend amongst fans of professional wrestling. It appeared that many of the fans could no longer just admire these athletes […]
<Anbar Provence> A young marine, private Lance P. Henderson, of Scottsdale, AZ, was deployed to the Anbar Provence of Afghaninstasia to assist in executing the terror wars. His duties, clearly defined by his company commander, […]
B.L.U.F.F. – My Dear Friends in Christ, you have been recently enlightened on this Holy Webpage with guidelines to prevent masturbation in your young daughter’s life. The B.L.U.F.F. Finger Sniff Test was presented with the […]
Further proving that golf is an evil sport that should be banned, a deranged masturbator took a golf club and murdered nearly 1000 chickens in a facility near Fresno, California. The facility, owned by chicken […]
The FaithFact Engineers have finally solved the age old dilemma of how to teach your infant not to masturbate. With this effective, yet stylishly functional centerpiece, you can proudly display your self-rape free Christian values […]