Post Tagged with: "Masturbators"

Image by Greg Montani from Pixabay

17 Things to Do While Under “Stay At Home” Orders

As more and more states are issuing “Stay At Home” or “Shelter In Place” directives the average American is finding themselves out of work and with far too much time on their hands. Many heathens are boasting they are “working from home” while they are really just watching sinful pornographics […]

by March 29, 2020 2 comments Lifestyle
Masturbators Cause Cucumber Recall in California

Masturbators Cause Cucumber Recall in California

Our friends at Fox News have reported on a “salmonella outbreak” that has caused the recall of cucumbers in California. While it is true that there has been a mass recall of the unfortunately shaped vegetable in the state, the Big Masturbation media handlers have once again covered up the […]

by September 8, 2015 4 comments Family Values
Short pants bring out the Devil in masturbators.

Shorts: Satan’s Garment

A new study by the Foundation For A Better Tomorrow resulted in the discovery that there is a significant increase in self-rape rates in the warmer months of the year. Faith Scientist, Brother Richie Brinkman made the startling conclusion that one of the key factors to this spike in masturbation statistics is […]

by August 28, 2015 8 comments Gateway Drug
Lonnie Childs encountering "The Sasquatch".

BREAKING: Lonnie Childs Solves Mystery Of Bigfoot

Another one of life’s great mysteries has been solved thanks to the tireless efforts of Lonnie Childs. Brother Lonnie was out walking the Earth as He does from time to time and found Himself in Western Oregon in the woods. The particular area Brother Lonnie was traveling through is renowned […]

by April 3, 2015 11 comments Animals
Which Minority is Destroying America?

Which Minority is Destroying America?

We need to come up with a Final Solution for this minority. Praise!

by October 29, 2014 3 comments Science
A New Species Of Human By 2050? Here’s The Faith Science…

A New Species Of Human By 2050? Here’s The Faith Science…

“We will see a new species of human, or sub-human rather, by 2050 if things progress at current rates.” That’s a pretty shocking claim from Faith Scientist Dr. Ian Norton, but Dr. Norton backs up this claim with decades of evidence he and other faith researchers have compiled to prove […]

by September 12, 2014 9 comments Animals, Death, Faith Graph, Science
“The Simpsons” Marathon Begins; Masturbation Rates Immediately Drop 25%

“The Simpsons” Marathon Begins; Masturbation Rates Immediately Drop 25%

Cable television channel FXX started a publicity stunt today where they are showing every episodes of “The Simpsons” in a marathon format. The marathon is to run without interruption until Labor Day and began at 10:30am this morning. The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow noticed a 25% drop in masturbatory acts […]

by August 22, 2014 8 comments Celebrity, Faith Graph, Trending
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