Post Tagged with: "Molestation"

The traumatized foul in question.

15 Year Old Caught Masturbating by Ducks, Instantly Punished by God

A 15 year old boy in Tucson, AZ had a rude but justified intrusion early in the morning of July 30th. As he sat at his $2,000 pornographic research device called “Macbook Pro” and stroked the unholy inverted cross, a swarm of ducks poured through his window and attacked him, […]

by September 5, 2014 16 comments Animals
SMN Introduces Uncle Lonnie’s “No-Wankie Blankie”

SMN Introduces Uncle Lonnie’s “No-Wankie Blankie”

Parents, Do you ever lie awake at night worrying your children are masturbating? I know I sure did, that was until I started tucking my 23 Same Race Normal Children to bed safely wrapped up in the Uncle Lonnie’s “No-Wankie Blankie”. Now I can rest assured that my boys will […]

Puppy Molested-Former SMN Deacon undergoes psychiatric testing

Puppy Molested-Former SMN Deacon undergoes psychiatric testing

By TheRev Leroy Jenkins EDWARDSVILLE, Ill. (BLUFF PRESS) – A southwestern Illinois man found mentally fit to stand trial on charges that he molested a puppy is waiting for court officials to decide if he’s a sexually dangerous person. The National Report  reports former Stop Masturbation Now Inner Deacon & […]

by July 20, 2014 9 comments Disciples
Now you can do your part to spread the Stop Masturbation Now message

Now you can do your part to spread the Stop Masturbation Now message

These 100% Normal American Made bumper stickers are fresh off the presses at the BLUFF Ministries Print Shop, we’ve indentured…..I mean adopted 2000 of the child refugees from the INS in Arizona and gave them a job in our print shop making these bumper stickers.  Each sticker cost only $1.99 […]

by July 17, 2014 6 comments Money
Matthew Burdette before his suicide by masturbation

California Teen Masturbates Himself To Death, Parents Blame “Common Core”

By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins A teenage boy from Southern California has committed masturbation suicide after a clip of him masturbating in a bathroom stall went viral, leading him to being “mercilessly prayed AT” at school by Normals, BLUFF News reports. Now, the parents of 14-year-old Matthew Burdette are suing their son’s school district […]

Normal Race Non-Masturbating Girl

Parenting tips: How to raise her to be a Normal Non-Masturbator

Letters From our Readers to TheRev By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins Dear Reverend Jenkins,  In this day of modern distractions such as FaceSpace, Twiddle, Samsung iPhones,  and Rap Music, how am I to raise my sweet daughter to become a Normal Non-Masturbating young lady?  Sincerely, A Concerned White Dad    Dear […]

Masturbation Mythbusters: Medical Masturbation – The Dismal ScLIEnce

Myth: It is OK to let doctors masturbate me because scLIEnce says that I must allow them to smear my paps! Status: B U S T E D! Nice try ladies! This line of reasoning completely falls apart when one considers the findings of The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow, […]

by May 30, 2014 5 comments Uncategorized
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