The SMN Guide to Male Urination

February 16, 2016 9

One of the biggest questions that we get here at STOP Masturbation NOW is, “How can I urinate without becoming a sinner?” Rest assured, good man!  There are a number of ways to urinate and still be in good-shape come time for the Rapture.

Before we get into the actual act of relieving one’s self, let us cover a couple basics first.

If you are urinating in a public building, see if you can use the cripple’s-only restroom.  They tend to be […]

Edward Scissorhands: The Best Anti-Masturbation Documentary Ever Filmed

October 21, 2015 10

I recently had the pleasure of watching the anti-masturbation documentary film Edward Scissorhands  on the HBO.  It must drive liberal Hollywood crazy that a moral film such as this has become such a massive hit!  The creators of this uplifting, moral movie deserve to be recognized.  Sleazy Hollywood would never bestow any kind of award or additional attention on a film such as this on their own, so we must take to the streets!  Please contact the Academy of Motion Movies and […]

Should People Who Masturbate Be Allowed to Vote?

May 10, 2015 199

Confiscated from an early voting station.

What a country!  As God-appointed Americans, we live in a Christian land, founded on Christian morals by non-masturbating Christian heroes.  One of the great tenets of this fantastic nation in which we reside is the concept of a free democracy.  A government of the people, by the people, for the people.  One of our inalienable rights as a citizens is to partake in an electoral system, where we have the ability to vote on a choice between […]

Tim Tebow Convicted of Murder

April 20, 2015 11

Superbowl winning superstar quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles, Tim Tebow has been convicted of first degree murder and sentence to life without parole.  Brother Lonnie has called for the public to withhold judgment until all the facts are known.  In his statement Brother Lonnie cautioned against judging God’s favorite white American quarterback and warned that Tebow’s anti-masturbation stance and moral upbringing have long made him a target of Big Masturbation.  The full statement can be found below.

“I have prayed long […]

STOP Masturbation NOW on the Air Tonight!

September 3, 2014 15

STOP Masturbation NOW co-founder and high elder, Senator August Weisz, will be On the Air with Mike Allen on Armed Radio TONIGHT live at 8 PM Pacific.  The good Senator will be addressing the STOP Masturbation NOW anti-fap movement about 20 mins into the broadcast.  If you would like to speak with August, the call-in number is (866) 225-5401.

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