Hands-on Method to Detect Self-Rape

September 23, 2014 6

Hey there Normals of the faithful flock!  Do you fear handshakes in public because masturbators with their spooge-covered hands are all around us?  Are you tired of constantly doing moisture checks on your SRAS to […]

A Button-down Appointed Spouse…

September 15, 2014 6

Brother Lonald explains to his followers, The need for Christianity to be at the forefront of preventing self-rape and other flesh sins is apparent. The devil seeks to destroy your soul by breaking down your […]

Brother Lonald Foils the Devil Again

September 5, 2014 17

Note: The following is a excerpt from the King Lonald Holy Bible, a more accurate account of God and Christ. …and so it was that Brother Lonald, adhering to the Lord’s Calling to deliver the […]

Ebola Discovered Spread Via Masturbation

August 14, 2014 6

SIERRA LEONE – A French foreign aid worker has contracted the Ebola virus through masturbation. The World Health Organization morns the loss of a brave volunteer, Jorge Pierre-Francios, who was assisting the infected in a […]

ROBIN WILLIAMS DEAD FROM AUTO-EROTIC ASPHYXIATION

August 11, 2014 31

Robin Williams has committed suicide.The Oscar-winning actor/comedian killed himself in Tiburon, in Northern California.   His people tell us he’s been recently battling severe depression.  According to the Marin County Sheriff Christopher Huckeby… authorities found Williams’ […]

How to “Rescue” your dog from Masturbation

August 10, 2014 20

We all know that masturbation advocates claim that Masturbation is “natural” and they back-up that claim by saying that Animals do it. This statement is false, to a certain degree. Most animals do not masturbate, […]

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