Post Tagged with: "Non-Normals"

This unlucky woman had direct contact with MRFPs.

Hands-on Method to Detect Self-Rape

Hey there Normals of the faithful flock!  Do you fear handshakes in public because masturbators with their spooge-covered hands are all around us?  Are you tired of constantly doing moisture checks on your SRAS to make sure she’s not spelunking in her sin cave?  Worried that there might be MRFPs […]

by September 23, 2014 6 comments Self-Rape Prevention, Spot a Masturbator
This 6 month old aborted baleen whale fetus is seen with Marine Planned Parenthood.

Marine Planned Parenthood Performs First Successful Whale Abortion

(STOP MASTURBATION NOW NEWS) — Today, Friday September 19, 2014, most American’s are joyously celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day. But for the Marine Wildlife Preserve in San Francisco California today was a day to celebrate a victory. The first successful Baleen Whale abortion. Faithless human Americans of questionable moral […]

by September 19, 2014 14 comments Animals, Morals
A Button-down Appointed Spouse…

A Button-down Appointed Spouse…

Brother Lonald explains to his followers, The need for Christianity to be at the forefront of preventing self-rape and other flesh sins is apparent. The devil seeks to destroy your soul by breaking down your human structure. Satan knows that a human being built with Jesus as the foundation is […]

by September 15, 2014 6 comments Family Values
Photo Courtesy of Vice News

Habitual Masturbating Rapper “Coolio” had the Production of his Masturbation Themed Music Video Halted By Normal Raced Neighbors

Earlier this month, our sister-news site “Vice News,” broke a story about rapper “Coolio” attempting to film a music video about Masturbation, for PornHub Records.  The Normal people who lived in the neighborhood where the production was taking place called the police to report masturbation-type activities. Mr. Coolio and his […]

by September 15, 2014 2 comments Celebrity
Study Confirms B.L.U.F.F. Men Have Larger Penis Size

Study Confirms B.L.U.F.F. Men Have Larger Penis Size

BLUFF HQ-STAFFORD, AZ – A recent study just concluded by Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) in association with The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow has confirmed what we at the SMN Ministry knew all along – the men of B.L.U.F.F. have substantially larger penis sizes than those of […]

by September 7, 2014 31 comments Faith Fact Series
Brother Lonald Foils the Devil Again

Brother Lonald Foils the Devil Again

Note: The following is a excerpt from the King Lonald Holy Bible, a more accurate account of God and Christ. …and so it was that Brother Lonald, adhering to the Lord’s Calling to deliver the message of self rape abstinence to the afflicted third world countries of tribal Africa, was […]

by September 5, 2014 17 comments Faith Fact Series
Police are baffled as to the cause of the demise of the Lonnie Childs Private Library

BLUFF Librarian Publishes Book, Library Burns To The Ground

Stafford, AZ – The Lonnie Childs Private Library, operated and managed by Alicia Stephenhopper, has burned to the ground under suspicious circumstances. The state of the art facility, offering the latest dial-up internet access and dozens of books and publications to the members of the BLUFF compound, will be closed […]

by August 30, 2014 11 comments Disciples
Ebola Discovered Spread Via Masturbation

Ebola Discovered Spread Via Masturbation

SIERRA LEONE – A French foreign aid worker has contracted the Ebola virus through masturbation. The World Health Organization morns the loss of a brave volunteer, Jorge Pierre-Francios, who was assisting the infected in a makeshift Ebola treatment center in Sierra Leone. Previous infections of the virus have been through […]

by August 14, 2014 6 comments World
Robin Williams handing a Kleenex to a Bonobo Monkey named in his honor

ROBIN WILLIAMS DEAD FROM AUTO-EROTIC ASPHYXIATION

Robin Williams has committed suicide.The Oscar-winning actor/comedian killed himself in Tiburon, in Northern California.   His people tell us he’s been recently battling severe depression.  According to the Marin County Sheriff Christopher Huckeby… authorities found Williams’ body inside his home.  They say he was found unresponsive.He was unconscious and not breathing […]

by August 11, 2014 31 comments Celebrity, Death
All Dogs Want to Be Rescued from Masturbation

How to “Rescue” your dog from Masturbation

We all know that masturbation advocates claim that Masturbation is “natural” and they back-up that claim by saying that Animals do it. This statement is false, to a certain degree. Most animals do not masturbate, as it is a completely unnatural act. Unfortunately, some animals do masturbate. These same animals […]

by August 10, 2014 20 comments Animals, Lifestyle, Morals
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