Evil Masturbation Terrorists Caught at Border

July 12, 2014 9

Yo Quiero, TX — Security agents from Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) have been sent to patrol the border and deal with a dangerous faction of illegal immigrants.

The announcement comes at a time when US Border Patrol Agents report an increase in masturbation terrorists crossing into the United States from Mexico. These particular cells are under orders to infiltrate American Society and promote a masturbatory lifestyle, polluting the minds and backsides of normal skin-toned children.

The specific group, Latino […]

B.L.U.F.F. Minister & 2 Elders charged in “Alleged” torturing boy, 13, for masturbation incident

July 10, 2014 8

By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins

SAFFORD, AZ. (BLUFF Press, LLC.) The pastor and two members of a Safford, AZ church pleaded not guilty Monday to state charges of beating and threatening the life of a 13-year-old boy caught masturbating into the holy water, who was forced to dig his own grave, authorities said.

Brother Cassidy Pen, 56, Paul Horner, 24, and Nikita Shalavin Jr., 30, allegedly tortured the boy in the church-run group home where he lived, according to a witness report in […]

Masturbation Rates by Species

July 5, 2014 31

The FaithFacts™ don’t lie. 


God Bless,


TheRev Leory Jenkins is a Sr. Staff Writer for BLUFF Press, LLC.

785-274-0325 or

Parenting tips: How to raise her to be a Normal Non-Masturbator

July 1, 2014 62

Letters From our Readers to TheRev
By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins

Dear Reverend Jenkins, 

In this day of modern distractions such as FaceSpace, Twiddle, Samsung iPhones,  and Rap Music, how am I to raise my sweet daughter to become a Normal Non-Masturbating young lady? 


A Concerned White Dad 


Dear Normal Race Dad,

I am a father too and I also struggled with how to raise my daughters to resist ringing their devils doorbells and allow Satan to go finger spelunking in their SinCaves. I found it […]

…My Glimmer of Hope

June 23, 2014 1

By Cassidy Pen

My dear friends in Lonnie and Christ, many of you remember my SRAS, Angela Pen.

My days have been filled with the empty pain of loneliness since my beloved sras went missing. My spirit, cursed with hearing rumors of her capture at the hands of self raping non-normals, sinks further into an emotional pitfall.

All of my endeavors, once done with the vigor of salvation that Lonnie’s grace rewards, are now stale and grey to me.

My ministry, once a staple […]

Snow Mexican Bieber Blasted For Non-Normal Denouncement, Promoting Abstinence From Masturbation.

June 8, 2014 3

WEST PALM BEACH, FLA (SMMNN) – Snow Mexican entertainer Justin Bieber has become Big Masturbation’s newest whipping boy after a video of him decrying non-normals and promoting abstinence from masturbation was leaked to the press earlier this week. In typical fashion, the media responded by blasting Bieber mercilessly calling his words “racist” and “extremist”.

In the video, Bieber is shown changing the lyrics of his apparent “hit song” ‘One Less Lonely Girl’ to feature a treatise on the valueless nature of all […]

Pope Declares “Zero Tolerance” for Masturbaters

June 2, 2014 1


By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins

ABOARD THE PAPAL PLANE (AP) — Pope Francis announced Monday he would meet soon with a group of masturbation victims at the Vatican and declared “zero tolerance” for any member of the clergy who would self -rape.

Francis also revealed that three bishops are currently under investigation by the Vatican for masturbation-related reasons, though it wasn’t clear if they were accused of committing self-rape itself […]

How to Avoid a Masturbator

May 20, 2014 8

Masturbators are often full of diseases and have criminal intent.



Here is how to avoid

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