Bill Gates Donates $1 Million To Gun Control; $2 Million To Tina’s Law

August 27, 2014 4

American Billionaire and sometimes computer whiz kid, Bill Gates, shocked second amendment advocates when he donated $1 million (SMD) to a Washington State campaign to expand background checks on gun sales. The Gates family’s disturbing anti-Bill of Rights donation was negated moments later when Gates donated $2 million (USD) to a committee to get Tina’s Law passed in Washington State.

Tina’s Law, as our staff writer Carlos Danger explains, “makes masturbation illegal and sets up a ‘Council of Morality’ appointed by Brother Lonnie to […]

3 American Patriots Shamed For Denouncing Self-Rape

August 21, 2014 7

I’m sure we’re all aware of how Great American patriots like Todd Akin consistently get shamed by the media for their unconventional views on self-rape. Considering we’re now six years into the nightmare that has been the Obama Administration, such things, while not accepted, are unfortunately expected. However, over the years many Americans have stood up to the special interests in Washington and tried to make a difference. Todd Akin is just another in a long line of great men who […]

Pelosi Outburst Caused By Masturbation Addiction

August 5, 2014 14

In a shocking display of unprofessionalism, liberal House Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, chased Republican Tom Marino across the House floor during a recent debate. Pelosi, allegedly offended by statements Marino made about her party’s lack of leadership lashed out at Marino, asserting that she did try to do something about the border issue while the liberals had majority control and that his statement was not true. “Yes it is true,” Marino replied directly to Pelosi. “I did the research on it. You might want […]

Education Department Plans Mandatory Mexican Classes for U.S. Schools

August 1, 2014 2



Secretary of Education Arne Duncan speaks to the National Press Club

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move announced yesterday, Education Secretary Arne Duncan unveiled a new proposal to ensure American students achieve early proficiency in Mexican language and culture. “We have an urgent challenge. Our educational system will soon absorb millions of children from south of the border. At the same time, our own young people are woefully ignorant when it comes to the culture and language of our nearest neighbor, Mexico,” […]

Conservative Leaders Propose Hate Speech Bill To Protect SMN

July 31, 2014 13

Just one look at this netsite’s “Masturhaters” gallery or even just a quick glance at the comments on any given article show that there is an increasing problem with masturbators using the anonymity of the internet to spew hatred towards the followers of Lonnie Childs.

Thankfully, this will soon end as several conservative lawmakers have drafted a bill now weaving its way through the U.S. political system that would make such “hate speech” directed towards religious groups a violation of the […]

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin Receives Full Pardon By AZ Gov. Jan Brewer

July 12, 2014 304

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer seen here making the pardon for Paul Horner AKA Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin official / Photo courtesy of

Phoenix, AZ — Arizona Governor Jan Brewer announced her controversial decision today granting a full pardon to 35-year-old Phoenix resident Paul Horner, known to his thousands of followers as Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin. Horner made world news last month after his ironic arrest for public masturbation.

“I did a lot of soul searching before making this decision,” Brewer told […]

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