Masturbation Prevention

November 28, 2014 22

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” 1 Corinthians 6:19 NAS Today’s […]

Masturbator Caught! Blames Solar Flares!

September 11, 2014 3

NEWBERRY PALMS, CA – Earlier today, 15 year old Cindy Saccapelli committed the sin of masturbation at her Catholic place of learning. When first responding school officials questioned her, she claimed the stains on her […]

Ebola Discovered Spread Via Masturbation

August 14, 2014 6

SIERRA LEONE – A French foreign aid worker has contracted the Ebola virus through masturbation. The World Health Organization morns the loss of a brave volunteer, Jorge Pierre-Francios, who was assisting the infected in a […]

Faithfact #448 – T-Rex’s Short Arms

July 24, 2014 17

DID YOU KNOW?   The mighty dragon, T-Rex, once had arms like that of a man but was PUNISHED by God for masturbating and cursed with the short arms he now has today.

Masturbation Linked to Higher Crime Rates

July 15, 2014 6

Safford, AZ   Breaking news from the groundbreaking think tank Foundation For a Better Tomorrow. Masturbation has been seen to have a direct causation into incarceration rates and criminal activity. The study was done over […]

Masturbator Unleashes Firenado!

May 9, 2014 10

(StopMasturbationNOW)— This morning a Florida man was masturbating when the friction of him touching his sinstick caused a firenado. As we know masturbation is wrong and the wages of self-rape are death. Please remember to […]

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