Happy Birthday, America!

July 4, 2014 10

Today marks the 2014th birthday of America, God’s favorite country.  Praise!  We here at STOP Masturbation NOW live the moral, masturbation free lives that the Founding Fathers intended!  Creating a sovereign nation free from the […]

TORNADOES Strike Masturbation Belt

June 9, 2014 4

    (StopMasturbationNow) — A self-rape induced outbreak of EF5 tornadoes swept across the Masturbation Belt this Sunday, June 8, 2014. The damage left by this rash of twisters has been described by local authorities as […]

Glass Cracks Below Masturbators On Chicago Skydeck

June 2, 2014 2

Several unrepentant masturbators almost plunged to their deaths earlier today from the Willis Tower in Chicago. Five years of semen buildup on the “Skydeck” viewing boxes proved too much for the structural integrity of the ledge […]

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