Post Tagged with: "Self-Rape"

Not for long, God willing.

Should People Who Masturbate Be Allowed to Vote?

What a country!  As God-appointed Americans, we live in a Christian land, founded on Christian morals by non-masturbating Christian heroes.  One of the great tenets of this fantastic nation in which we reside is the concept of a free democracy.  A government of the people, by the people, for the […]

by May 10, 2015 206 comments Civics
Profile of Masturbation Music: Tool

Profile of Masturbation Music: Tool

Flock, I would like to bring to your attention the latest danger facing our precious youth: the masturbation band known as Tool.  Last week, while hosting my sister’s family at the compound campus in Safford, I noticed that my nineteen year-old nephew Jimmy was ignoring the Chick Tracts that I had […]

by April 25, 2015 20 comments Masturbation Music
Pioneers of Self-Celibacy: Ty Cobb

Pioneers of Self-Celibacy: Ty Cobb

<STOP MASTURBATION NOW!> Born December 18, 1886 in Rural Georgia only one generation after the war between the states, Tyrus Raymond “Ty” Cobb became one of baseball’s greatest players and a pioneer in the struggle against masturbation. Cobb is credited with setting over 90 baseball records with a hard nosed […]

by March 25, 2015 3 comments Sports
MASTURBATION ALERT! Bert Strips Pose a Clear and Present Self-Rape Threat

MASTURBATION ALERT! Bert Strips Pose a Clear and Present Self-Rape Threat

B.L.U.F.F. (Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts) has raised the overall self rape level to Orange-Imminent Threat of Self-Rape detected. The Facebook Rise of the Butthurt has published a series of “Bertstrips.” These crude cartoons pose an imminent threat of self rape! The following is official information from the B.L.U.F.F. […]

by March 23, 2015 6 comments Self-Rape Prevention
For the Masturbator

For the Masturbator

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by March 16, 2015 11 comments Self-Rape Prevention
Repeat this affirmation daily and be at peace my Brothers and Sisters.

Miracle: Lonnie’s Celestial Intervention Prevents Parishioner From Self-Raping!

A miracle has occurred this week, as Stop Masturbation Now founder and American Hero, Lonnie Childs, has intervened to save the immortal soul of a parishioner known simply as ‘Thomas’. ‘Thomas’ was asleep in bed when a miracle sent by Lonnie Childs awakened him in order to alert ‘Thomas’ to […]

Internets Meems Warning!

Internets Meems Warning!

WARNING: Do not be tricked by certain internets meems. Some may appear to be spiritual and comforting, my dear friends in Christ through Brother Lonnie, but they are merely a ploy by Big Masturbation to promote self rape. Take this one, for instance. Note the nasty underbelly to this filth. […]

by January 31, 2015 13 comments Family Values
Spiders are evil.

Is the “Halo” gaming franchise promoting Self-Rape?

Here is what the Liberal lies claim about this “game” on Wikipedia(a known Communist site): “In the distant past, a powerful race called the Forerunners fought an alien parasite known as the Flood. The Flood, which spread through infestation of sentient life, overran much of the Milky Way Galaxy. One […]

by January 20, 2015 24 comments Big Masturbation
10K Run and Mud Wrestling for Teens Pushes for Awareness of Self-Rape

10K Run and Mud Wrestling for Teens Pushes for Awareness of Self-Rape

New Year’s resolutions can run a little hot and cold — and it turns out so can New Year’s runners. The Resolution Run in Safford, AZ has opportunities for participants to experience both the freezing cold and the sweat-building heat of a 1-kilometer, 5-kilometer or 10-kilometer race. And then there […]

by January 4, 2015 8 comments B.L.U.F.F.
I Was Self-Raped

I Was Self-Raped

(SMNN) The sad fact of the matter is, no one asks to be self-raped. You don’t wake up in the morning, and say “Hey, maybe I’ll violate myself today, that’d be great.” Self-rape happens. Here we have the chilling confession of a self-rape survivor, who wished to remain anonymous. “I […]

by December 21, 2014 49 comments Lonnie Childs, Morals, Self-Rape Prevention
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