Post Tagged with: "SMN Pledge"

FACES OF MASTURBATION SERIES, SUCCESS STORIES: “Michael J.”

FACES OF MASTURBATION SERIES, SUCCESS STORIES: “Michael J.”

“Michael J.” was once a ferocious self-rapist as evidenced in his “before” photo.  Note the vacant eyes, the grotesquely bulbous nose, the self-righteous smirk and the anti-establishment afro hairstyle.  Michael was just another hell-bound masturbator, destined to spend eternity as Satan’s personal sock puppet.  Look at him NOW!  After meeting […]

by February 17, 2016 11 comments Faces of Masturbation
Amanda Bynes in 2006, before masturbation nearly destroyed her life.

Profile Of A Famous Masturbator: Amanda Bynes

The allure of Hollywood draws in the unholy from all walks of life. Brother Lonnie has made it clear in the past that no one is safe from the dangers of masturbation; including and especially the rich and famous. In many of these cases, the actor / singer / songwriter […]

Study Confirms B.L.U.F.F. Men Have Larger Penis Size

Study Confirms B.L.U.F.F. Men Have Larger Penis Size

BLUFF HQ-STAFFORD, AZ – A recent study just concluded by Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) in association with The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow has confirmed what we at the SMN Ministry knew all along – the men of B.L.U.F.F. have substantially larger penis sizes than those of […]

by September 7, 2014 31 comments Faith Fact Series
Ebola Discovered Spread Via Masturbation

Ebola Discovered Spread Via Masturbation

SIERRA LEONE – A French foreign aid worker has contracted the Ebola virus through masturbation. The World Health Organization morns the loss of a brave volunteer, Jorge Pierre-Francios, who was assisting the infected in a makeshift Ebola treatment center in Sierra Leone. Previous infections of the virus have been through […]

by August 14, 2014 6 comments World
The Five Sins of Buying a Sex Toy

The Five Sins of Buying a Sex Toy

My dear friends in Christ. My daily street ministry preaching Brother Lonnie’s SMN message takes me frequently to the local Adult Book/Head Shop in my town’s downtown area. The best ears for Lonnie’s Holy Word are those most infected with sin. Here’s the truth. Masturbation IS a sin, punishable by […]

by July 30, 2014 23 comments Self-Rape Prevention
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