Won’t You Please Help?

September 2, 2015 16

For immediate release:

“My brothers and sisters…I, Lonald “Lonnie” Childs, having fought the scourge of masturbation for decades now must come to you in our most desperate hour.  The 30% tithe of their gross income that my followers pay has in the past been sufficient to fund my ministry and keep me in the lifestyle of which I’ve been accustomed.  The recent victories we have scored against Big Masturbation have caused their donors such as the Obamas, the Clintons and George […]

Masturbation Made Illegal In All 50 States

July 7, 2015 19

The scourge of masturbation is now on its death throes as the efforts of Brother Lonald “Lonnie” Childs and a recent decision by the Supreme Court has made “Tina’s Law” mandatory in all 50 states. “Tina’s Law”, named after black singing sensation Tina Turner has made masturbation illegal with fines, imprisonment and forced registration on the sex offender list.

Brother Lonnie has been long ready for this day and has already made appointments to the Council of Morality which enforces Tina’s […]

California Governor Signs Lonnie Child’s “Yes Means Yes” Bill Into Law

October 1, 2014 2

It is a well-known fact that all successful school policies found in secular higher-education institutions come from religious schools. This has never been truer than now, as California Governor Jerry Brown signed into law the “Affirmative Consent” bill.

This new law eliminates the implied consent that was in-place previously. The excuses of “she never said no” or “he never stopped me” is no longer justified as consent within the California university system.

Instead, California law now requires BOTH parties to verbally consent […]

Tina’s Law and Your Tax Dollars at Work

September 16, 2014 4

As fellow Christians and believers in Brother Lonnie’s divinity you are well aware that South Dakota recently passed Tina’s Law which bans masturbation and dangerous interracial coupling. Many of the naysayers have asked how can you enforce such a law and our answer has always been the Council of Morality and every day citizens who value our freedoms and hate masturbation & dangerous interracial coupling will be the key to making America self-rape and interracial couple free.

It was courageous private […]

Tina’s Law Passed in South Dakota

July 23, 2014 25

As part of STOP Masturation NOW’s ongoing mission to eradicate masturbation, Lonnie Childs has sponsored legislature in 18 of the 50 states to make masturbation illegal. Tina’s Law (named after black pop singing sensation Tina Turner) makes masturbation illegal and sets up a “Council of Morality” appointed by Brother Lonnie to enforce the new legislature and to punish masturbaters, their allies and enablers. Punishment includes community service, fines, electrocution to the genitals, removal of hands and death.

Praise be to the […]

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