BLUFF Librarian Publishes Book, Library Burns To The Ground

August 30, 2014 11

Stafford, AZ – The Lonnie Childs Private Library, operated and managed by Alicia Stephenhopper, has burned to the ground under suspicious circumstances. The state of the art facility, offering the latest dial-up internet access and dozens of books and publications to the members of the BLUFF compound, will be closed indefinitely pending a decision by the Normal Council of Men to rebuild the facility.

“I honestly don’t know who would do this. I’m just heartbroken about the whole thing. […]

Say “NO” To Pornographics!

August 25, 2014 12

A recent survey shows 85 percent of rapes and molestations are reenactments of a porn video/DVD. This means every time someone downloads an internet pornographic, there is an 85 percent chance that it will eventually result in a rape or molestation of a child. 

It’s not normal to give kids beer to help them “relax” – but on masturbation, it is.

If you, or someone you know, is hurting children with masturbation please call (888) 276-6760 (operators are standing by).

 

This message of […]

Masturbation Triggered Japasian Landslides

August 25, 2014 26

HIROSHIMA, Japasia – The devastating landslides that rocked Japasia and caused numerous deaths and billions of yen worth of property damage were determined to have been triggered by massive and furious masturbation, according to scientists working for the Foundation For a Better Tomorrow.

Although the communist government does not officially recognize private property in Japasia, a quick examination of the disaster area is enough to make estimates.

The unstable ground of Japasia’s Pacific RIm Island, along with the erosion caused by streams […]

For God’s Sake, Think of the Children!

August 19, 2014 12

Often times, a reluctant masturbator does not want to masturbate, but the addiction of masturbation is too strong. For those of you who do not want to masturbate, but cannot help it, Think of the Children!

Masturbation is dirty, sleazy and immoral. That is why masturbators do it in secret and in privacy. What is needed is something innocent. Something pure. Something that reminds you of better times, when you were youthful and had a pure mind. What you need to […]

ROBIN WILLIAMS DEAD FROM AUTO-EROTIC ASPHYXIATION

August 11, 2014 31

Robin Williams has committed suicide.The Oscar-winning actor/comedian killed himself in Tiburon, in Northern California.   His people tell us he’s been recently battling severe depression.  According to the Marin County Sheriff Christopher Huckeby… authorities found Williams’ body inside his home.  They say he was found unresponsive.He was unconscious and not breathing and the Dr. Eric Whitehead Marin County coroner suspects suicide due to Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation.  Dr. Whitehead noted that Williams was clutching a head shot of Matt Damon in his left […]

Michael Hutchinson, Lead Singer of British Band INXS, Suffers Humiliating Masturbation Death

August 10, 2014 29

Hear that sound?  That’s the sound of Satan accepting a new victim into his realm.  Michael Hutchinson, lead singer of British death metal band INXS, died recently due to masturbation-related complications.  From an outsider’s perspective Michael seemed to have a fulfilling yet wild life.  He had money, fame and respect.  He had sold out concerts and hit records.  Unfortunately, however, Michael had a devil inside him.  A devil that seduced him with the irresistible song of self-rape.  Over the years, […]

World Least Funny Atheist, Also World’s Most Prolific Masturbator

July 30, 2014 2

 

THE ISLAND OF UNITED KINGDOMS- (SMNN)

The world’s least funny man, noted filthy atheist Ricky Gervais admitted today, that he is also the world’s most prolific masturbator. Gervais admits to masturbating in excess of 300 times daily.

Hmmm…

Ricky Gervais, horrible non-humourous atheist, has long been known to be pure evil, and devoid of morals, but his confession of such heresy has pushed even this lowly troglodyte to the very edge of what society considers tolerable.

Seen here with a glass of his own […]

Siberian Village Lost Due To Asian Masturbation’s Impact On Global Environment

July 24, 2014 26

SIBERIA- COMMUNIST U.S.S.R C.C.C.P (SMNNN)

An entire village in Siberia has been swallowed into a huge crater, and masturbation is definitely the cause, leading Faithscientists say.

Leading Faithclimatetologist, Dr Skippy Enis, recently involved in an atomic meltdown explosion at B.L.U.F.F Graphcenter , and fresh from life saving surgery, explains the situation in a phone interview from the recovery room of St. Lonald Hospital: ” Huh? Y’all here again? Y’all have homes? Seriously, do y’all ever go home? ” Said Dr Enis. ” […]

Parenting tips: How to raise her to be a Normal Non-Masturbator

July 1, 2014 62

Letters From our Readers to TheRev
By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins

Dear Reverend Jenkins, 

In this day of modern distractions such as FaceSpace, Twiddle, Samsung iPhones,  and Rap Music, how am I to raise my sweet daughter to become a Normal Non-Masturbating young lady? 

Sincerely,

A Concerned White Dad 

 

Dear Normal Race Dad,

I am a father too and I also struggled with how to raise my daughters to resist ringing their devils doorbells and allow Satan to go finger spelunking in their SinCaves. I found it […]

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