12 Year Old Girls Charged In Stabbing Of Their Non-Masturbating Friend

APACHE JUNCTION, Ariz. (SMNNN) – Authorities say two 12 year old central Arizona girls stabbed their 12 year old friend nearly to death to please an organization they learned about online.

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Both girls were charged with first degree attempted homicide Monday in Maricopa County Circuit Court. The criminal complaint says that one of the girls told a detective they had to kill someone who was a confirmed non-masturbator. According to their story if they successfully ended the life of a non-masturbator they would become proxies of an organization called “Big Masturbation” that they learned about on a related Facebook page. The complaint says the girls started planning the murder after the friend tried to convert them to the teachings of our own savior, Lonnie Childs.

Speaking through their attorney, one of the girls stated, “Once she tried multiple times to get us to read the ‘King Lonald Holy Bible’ we knew we had our mark. We were told by our contact at Big Masturbation if we could get a confirmed kill of an actual Lonvidian our status as proxies would be secured.”

The two stabbed their friend 19 times in a dark cave in the outskirts of Safford, Arizona sometime early Saturday. The girl managed to crawl away and was found by a passing good samaritan. She is currently hospitalized and her condition is unknown.


This reporter is disgusted to learn that Big Masturbation has now apparently put a “hit” out on Lonvidians and is using young, ignorant and impressionable women to do their dirty work.

Cathy Redmond, reporting for StopMasturbationNow.org.

About Cathy Redmond 104 Articles
Cathy Redmond is a graduate of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, earning degrees in English and Political Science. She likes long walks in the desert, strong Conservative leadership and America.