Breaking News: Masturbation Causes NYC Building Collapse

(StopMasturbationNOW)— A residential apartment building collapsed and was engulfed in flames today in New York City’s East Village neighborhood. There was no immediate information on possible injuries, said a spokesman for the New York Police Department.

imagesLive footage on local television showed a residential apartment building engulfed in flames and heavy smoke. Early investigations have revealed that the building showed significant foundation erosion from semen and structural weakening from masturbation induced vibrations.

Local television also reported a large explosion at the scene and an adjacent building also on fire.

Rescuers from the Fire Department of New York (FDNY) were headed to the location, which was on Second Avenue and East 7th Street in Manhattan, an FDNY spokeswoman said.

Masturbation is the number one cause of infrastructure failure in the United States.

10 Comments on Breaking News: Masturbation Causes NYC Building Collapse

  1. NYC, eh? Then why is the main article image the Kingdome implosion that happened 15 years ago in Seattle? LOLOLOL I can’t breathe

  2. This shit is hilarious. You people have to be the dumbest most ignorant hillbillys on the planet. You’re right up there with the kkk and Bill O’Reilly. Everything you put in this article is bullshit. Get a fact checking department and then try spewing your hate mongering on a legitimate news source.

  3. Actually it was gas that caused that explosion… so now Lonnie needs to create an Anti – Farting Website as well.

  4. God destroyed this building, because so many masterbators were inside! The satanic self-rapers must be destroyed, it’s God’s will!

  5. THIS WEBSIRE IS AMAZING! IT HAS EVERYTHING!!! IDIOT CHRISTIANS, IDIOT REPUBLICANS, IDIOTS AGAINST FUCKING JACKING OFF FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!! IT’S BEAUTIFUL!

Comments are closed.