Irresponsible ‘Share’ Campaign Breeding Ground For Disease

Virus

Sweet drink manufacturer, Coca-Cola, recently got the idea of promoting their product by getting people to “share” it with someone else. Sharing a drink, any drink, with someone infected with an illness is a really bad idea as you can get sick from this action. The sheer number of Worldwide Web users flocking to reputable answer sites like “Yahoo Questions” and “MedHelp” asking a variant of the “can I get sick from sharing a drink” question is staggering.

Unfortunately, the answer to their question is that by sharing a drink with a sick deviant, they too are now afflicted with whatever pathogens and parasites are swimming through the body of their “friend”.

So, Cathy, how does this relate to masturbation?

Well, even the most chaste, abstinent, normal individual is susceptible to infection with a masturbation caused disease this way. Most masturbation diseases are not only transferred in an airborne fashion, but are primarily transferred through contact with infected bodily fluids, including saliva. Unless we at Stop Masturbation Now get the word out, it is startling to consider how many otherwise clean people could be infected by the sins of their family, friends and neighbors. One has to question whether Big Masturbation has their filthy paws in this new soft drink promotion as it has the potential to push the lowering numbers of masturbation illnesses back into epidemic levels by the end of 2014.

Is there hope?

With most things, thanks to Lonnie Childs, there is hope. If you must “share” a soft drink this Summer there is in fact one person it is safe to do this with if you are a worthy non-masturbating normal.

Share With Lonnie
Share with Lonnie. The only way to be sure.
About Cathy Redmond 104 Articles

Cathy Redmond is a graduate of University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, earning degrees in English and Political Science. She likes long walks in the desert, strong Conservative leadership and America.

7 Comments on Irresponsible ‘Share’ Campaign Breeding Ground For Disease

  1. I shared once, after having just one small sip, but my friend, whom I later found out was a non-normal, drank all the rest in one swig. I feel grateful now that I know that he didn’t leave me any, or any of his diseases. I will never again share any drink with anyone but Lonnie.

  2. If I share, then that’s just going to encourage them to mooch some more. Next, they’ll be on welfare, followed by sexual deviancy. If I don’ t share, then that increases their chances of becoming self-reliant or starving to death. Win/win situation for society either way.

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