Keith Olbermann Goes Into Masturbation Rage

(StopMasturbationNow)—ESPN television host and frequent job changer Keith Olbermann suffered a masturbation induced rage episode where he attacked Penn State University students who raised money to fight pediatric cancer. The shameful incident happened Sunday night on twitter of course.

Masturbatory rage is an almost involuntary mental state where one’s lifetime self-raping builds to a level that the human brain simply cannot tolerate. At this point people often say or do senseless things than any rational person would never do.

 What set Keith Olbermann off is the fact that Penn State Exists.

While there were many tweets. These three pretty much sum it up…

Here he blames students for making the “choice” to go to Penn State, implying their choice to go there somehow supports events that happened years before. I suppose for Mr Olbermann to be happy the whole university would have to shut down, laying off thousands and failing to educate the people of the great and independent state of Pennsylvania.


Keith Olberman then seems to have forgotten how to count. Another side effect of masturbation rage.






Fox fired him in 2001 “Murdoch said: “I fired him…He’s crazy.”[
On January 21, 2011 MSNBC issued a statement that it had ended its contract with Olbermann, with no further explanation.
Olbermann was fired on March 30, 2012. In a statement from Current TV, they stated that “Current was […] founded on the values of respect, openness, collegiality, and loyalty to our viewers. Unfortunately these values are no longer reflected in our relationship with Keith Olbermann and we have ended it.”

We at StopMasturbationNow call on ESPN to send a strong message and fire Keith Olberman.


As of publication ESPN has released the following:

“We are aware of the exchange Keith Olbermann had on Twitter last night regarding Penn State,” ESPN said in a statement. “It was completely inappropriate and does not reflect the views of ESPN.

“We have discussed it with Keith, who recognizes he was wrong. ESPN and Keith have agreed that he will not host his show for the remainder of this week and will return on Monday.


Not enough ESPN… Not enough.

For more information on the excellent activities of Penn State students see:






4 Comments on Keith Olbermann Goes Into Masturbation Rage

  1. He sure looks like the kind of guy who’d go into a masturbation rage too. Shameful. I hope ESPN does the right thing.

  2. Where do you guys get you logic or information from? Because it’s rediculous. Like it’s truly halarious to me thank you

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