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Oregon Man Sentenced to 4 ½ Years in State Penitentiary for Masturbation

By Nigel J. Covington III

Reporting for SMN News Service

Michael Thomas Dorgan gets prison time after his 10th conviction for masturbating in public.

(PORTLAND) Michael Thomas Dorgan, 55, of Portland, OR was found guilty Tuesday for the 10th time on a public indecency charge for masturbating in public, prosecutors said. According to FOX News 12, Dorgan was sentenced to four-and-a-half years in prison, plus five months of post-prison supervision and he must register as a foul sex offender.

In exchange for a lesser sentence, Dorgan pleaded no contest to exposing himself to three women near Portland University on July 8th where witnesses claim they noticed Dorgan staring at them before he unzipped his pants and whipped out his limp, dried up, old withered phallus which he then tugged and pulled on vigorously in a failed attempt to get it aroused.

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“I laughed at his feeble effort to get it up,” said 19 year-old Jennifer Di Angelo one of the three PSU student-victims who witnessed the pathetic scene. Her two friends Salina Gomez, 20 years-old, and Cheryl Richards, 18 years-old, laughed uncontrollably as they walked towards the sick, twisted masturbator and mocked and humiliated him in front of others who were nearby.

“What’s the problem dead dick no boys around to get you hard?” said Salina. Cheryl shouted “Maybe if you had a man’s dick it would work,” adding, “Even if you could get it up that small, infantile poor excuse of a dick of yours could never satisfy any real woman.”

Though Dorgan desperately beat his limp, tired and aging meat it was no use. He stood there for a moment looking down at his small, inert and flaccid penis and began crying as he fled the scene.

A short time later police found Dorgan sitting on a bus bench not far from the PSU campus balling like an infant. He was arrested without incident.

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Guy that got a good ass BJ in '87
Guy that got a good ass BJ in '87
5 years ago

Oh yeah! That gave me a monster blowjob back in ’87. ahhh good times. any ways i was his best client… pay wise and in bed 😉

A god fearing man
A god fearing man
5 years ago

Another satanist of the streets. Praise Be. I hope he gets nothing less than a hanging.

Big Cock Nigger
4 years ago

fuck you you christian crazy

William Temple
William Temple
5 years ago

There is no structural organization of society which can bring about the coming of the kingdom of God on earth, since all systems can be perverted by the selfishness of man

and this website is a prime example…

Edmund Burke
Edmund Burke
5 years ago

“Superstition is the religion of feeble minds”

I ❤ jacking off
I ❤ jacking off
4 years ago

What the actual fuck this website is so god damn idiotic

Lucas Petersen
Lucas Petersen
4 years ago

Most of the articles on this website are horribly misleading, if not downright wrong, first of all MASTURBATING IS HEALTHY if any of the maybe 15 ppl wo made this site even bothered to read any medical articles on masturbation they all say its extremely beneficial to your health, and I read the article on ways to spot a masturbator, (it’s barely an article maybe a paragraph) the vast majority of STDs you can only get through physical contact, and gayness isnt contagious, your born with it, I could probably write a 5 page essay explaining how stupid this site… Read more »

Tommy Q.
Tommy Q.
4 years ago
Reply to  Lucas Petersen

Preach, man!

bloccboijay
bloccboijay
4 years ago

r/whoosh

The_gay_meme_lord
The_gay_meme_lord
4 years ago

I’ll be honest, im not sure if this website is a joke or not
I got here by a meme