Anti Masturbation Group Leads Coup to Fix Turkey

Turkish soldiers are seen on the Asian side of Istanbul, Friday, July 15, 2016. A group within Turkey's military has engaged in what appeared to be an attempted coup, the prime minister said, with military jets flying over the capital and reports of vehicles blocking two major bridges in Istanbul. Prime Minister Binali Yildirim told NTV television: "it is correct that there was an attempt," when asked if there was a coup. (AP Photo/Emrah Gurel)

(StopmasturbationNOW)— Turkeys days as the “Masturbation Capital of the Black Sea” are almost over. A anti masturbation advocate and follower of Lonnie Childs has led a military coup in Turkey.


SMN founder and leader Lonnie Childs released the following statement.

“Our friends in the Turkish military have taken over the government and imposed martial law. I wish to lend them both public and private support in the days and months ahead as they lay the foundation for the world’s first masturbation free country. I urge followers in other countries to take note and know that your day will come soon. We will achieve world peace only when all of the masturbators are ground into dust. Praise”

SMN follower Aaron Cartlidge rallies people in his village.

Turkey is the world’s 18th most popular country and is a member of NATO with the second largest army of all member countries.


3 Comments on Anti Masturbation Group Leads Coup to Fix Turkey

  1. The anti masturbation rebels have failed in their coop and will be shot, and thier families shot! ☭☭☭☭

  2. Sadly enough, these brave heroes, who have fought the good fight against those who commit the disgusting sin of self rape, have all been captured and sentenced to death by pro-masturbation advocates.

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