Archive for 2014

Masturbator saved by Bruce Danus.

Bruce Danus Saves The Life of a Masturbator

It was a cold, rainy night in Portland, OR; the home of the most masturbators in America, because it is the home of the most hipsters in America. I was waiting for a bus to take so I could preach the good words of Lonnie to a captive audience, when […]

by November 4, 2014 16 comments Big Masturbation
Brother Cassidy’s Street Ministry: A Dire Warning!

Brother Cassidy’s Street Ministry: A Dire Warning!

My dear friends in Christ through Lonnie’s Way, please hear my words as I speak them and trumpet them to all lands of the world! These end times are surely upon us, as the irrefutable warnings have been heard. The events are at hand. This is the Faith of the […]

by November 3, 2014 7 comments World
Save Masturbators From Hell This Halloween!

Save Masturbators From Hell This Halloween!

Today is Halloween and while most moral Christians will be hunkered down in their homes with their children, Bibles and guns clutched close, the secular world will send their children up to stranger’s doors begging for handouts like the Obama-Socialist zombies they are. This year, we fight back! As Christians, […]

by October 31, 2014 24 comments Family Values
Luxurious Negro cruise ship. Navigated by Captain Brother Lonnnie Childs

Blecks Change Black History Month to Lonnie History Month

Many non normal Americans have been falsely categorized as being ungrateful for the many accomplishments of the normal white man under Brother Lonnie’s supervision. Despite left wing media jibberish, blecks are quite happy to have had their ancestors brought to american via top notch cruise vessels to perform the tasks […]

by October 30, 2014 18 comments Lonnie Childs
Doctors Don’t Want You to Know This One Simple Trick for Perfect Health!

Doctors Don’t Want You to Know This One Simple Trick for Perfect Health!

Masturbation is a top ten cause of disease. Don’t be a statistic, don’t masturbate!  

by October 30, 2014 9 comments Clickbait
Shoshana B Roberts Receives Self-Rape Threats after Posting Harassment Video

Shoshana B Roberts Receives Self-Rape Threats after Posting Harassment Video

(StopMasturbationNOW)— An actor who recorded 10 hours of catcalls and remarks from passersby in New York City has received self-rape threats in response to a video detailing the harassment, the advocacy group that commissioned the video said on Tuesday. It is well known that masturbation is self-rape. An act violating […]

by October 29, 2014 6 comments Lifestyle, Self-Rape Prevention, Trending
Which Minority is Destroying America?

Which Minority is Destroying America?

We need to come up with a Final Solution for this minority. Praise!

by October 29, 2014 3 comments Science
In Obama’s America: Pornographic Jack’Off Lanterns

In Obama’s America: Pornographic Jack’Off Lanterns

(StopMasturbationNOW)— What happened to moral America? The America filled with family values, the America of fraternities, sports, the 4th of July, and Christmas? Well… it’s been replaced with filth. And this is not regular dirty Mexican filth, this is smut. Pure pornography. Last week we showed you haw masturbators were […]

Masturbators Replace Halloween Costumes with Dinguses

Masturbators Replace Halloween Costumes with Dinguses

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Once a proud Christian holiday, Halloween was filled with candy, kids costumes, and pumpkins However this year masturbators have decided to ruin Halloween for everyone by turning innocent costumes into dinguses. The Unicorn Vibrator “Have a good time at the costume party then go home and self-rape” Is what this […]

by October 24, 2014 47 comments Big Masturbation, Morals
(source: By original author unknown; University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.Zscout370 at en.wikipedia [Public domain or Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons)

University of North Carolina Investigation Reveals Almost Entire Current Enrollment Confirmed Masturbators

CHAPEL HILL, N.C. A report, called the Wainstein report after U.S. Justice Department official Kenneth Wainstein who conducted the investigation, has found that over the course of two decades nearly 3100 University of North Carolina students were involved in academic dishonesty. More disturbing is the finding that over one half […]

by October 23, 2014 4 comments Family Values, Morals, Sports, Trending
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