Archive for May, 2015

Greatest Anti-Masturbation Song of all Time Turns 50 Years Old Today

Greatest Anti-Masturbation Song of all Time Turns 50 Years Old Today

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Most music since the 1930’s and FDR has promoted masturbation. However 50 years ago today the greatest anti-masturbation song of all time was released. Meat Loafs I would do anything for love but I won’t do that (Masturbate) was the first pop song that dealt with masturbation and the need […]

by May 19, 2015 4 comments Morals
Lonnie Childs Meets with ISIS leaders

Lonnie Childs Meets with ISIS leaders

(StopMasturbationNOW)— Doctor Lonnie Childs, founder and leader of Stop Masturbation Now Industries, recently wrapped up an unprecedented 3 day conference with ISIS leaders. Hosted in Winnipeg Manitoba the “Winnipeg Summit” as it is now called focused on several topics including the price of oil, dangers of masturbation, and limiting the […]

by May 19, 2015 4 comments Foreigners
Photo Proof Liberals are Trying to Sexualize your Kids

Photo Proof Liberals are Trying to Sexualize your Kids

(StopMasturbationNOW)—It is no secret that liberals hate morals, family values and children. However liberals love homosexuality, perversions, and masturbation, especially when it comes to kids. Here is photo evidence of the liberals “love” for your children. Parents: Talk to your kids about self rape before its too late.

by May 19, 2015 6 comments Big Masturbation
STOP Masturbation NOW Anti-Masturbation Strait Jacket® Successfully Deployed At Arizona Juvenile Detention Center

STOP Masturbation NOW Anti-Masturbation Strait Jacket® Successfully Deployed At Arizona Juvenile Detention Center

Lonnie Childs received great news over the weekend when the Graham County Juvenile Detention Center in Safford, Arizona delivered the results of a three-month study on the effectiveness of the Anti-Masturbation Strait Jacket®. According to spokesman Dennis E. Cross of the GCJDC, “We found Mr. Childs’s jackets were of great benefit to […]

by May 11, 2015 33 comments Lonnie Childs
Not for long, God willing.

Should People Who Masturbate Be Allowed to Vote?

What a country!  As God-appointed Americans, we live in a Christian land, founded on Christian morals by non-masturbating Christian heroes.  One of the great tenets of this fantastic nation in which we reside is the concept of a free democracy.  A government of the people, by the people, for the […]

by May 10, 2015 218 comments Civics
Finding a Healthy Balance Between Loving and Hating Your Mother

Finding a Healthy Balance Between Loving and Hating Your Mother

Today’s post is a half tribute to my mom, Carol Zimmermann, and half in response to emails I received this week. Over and over, people have been asking me the same question: “As a Christian, how should I treat my mother?” To answer this question I took all the Bible […]

by May 9, 2015 2 comments Family Values
New “Eyeball Ebola” Found Caused By Masturbation

New “Eyeball Ebola” Found Caused By Masturbation

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Many old wives tales are not correct. But did you know many of these tales have some fundamental basis that has lost its true meaning over the years? One of these is masturbation causes blindness. Many people laugh off this tale as a unsubstantiated claim made by schoolchildren. However it […]

by May 8, 2015 4 comments Science
Was the Great Wall of China Built to Keep Foreigners out or Orientals in?

Was the Great Wall of China Built to Keep Foreigners out or Orientals in?

(StopMasturbationNOW)—For years we have been lied to. The Chinese tell stories of how over a hundred years ago Chinese people built the Great Wall of China to keep foreign invaders out. New research by Brandon Walker at the Wyoming institute of Technology has revealed it is not the case. “After […]

by May 5, 2015 1 comment Foreigners, History
The Walking Dead Star Arrested- Pot Cigarette Found

The Walking Dead Star Arrested- Pot Cigarette Found

(StopMasturbationNOW)—The Walking Dead television show continues to be an embarrassment for American morals and family values. Seth Gilliam, who plays lead charecter Rev. Gabriel Stokes, was arrested early Sunday in Peachtree City, Georgia. According to the Peachtree City police, Gilliam was speeding 107 mph in a 55-mph zone, and a pot cigarette was found […]

by May 5, 2015 4 comments Celebrity
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