Archive for July, 2015

Masturbation Awakens Dormant Black Hole

Masturbation Awakens Dormant Black Hole

(StopmasturbationNOW)—Masturbation has been a long proven top ten cause of disease, a gateway drug to rape,  and is the leading cause of homosexuality and erosion of family values. However we are just now realizing the damage that masturbation does to the environment. After 26 years of keeping quiet, a monster black hole […]

by July 8, 2015 10 comments Science
Photo courtesy of Flavorwire

A Woman Has Come Forward Claiming Self-Rape at the Hands of Bill Cosby

Beloved comedian, actor, producer, philanthropist and all-around good guy; Bill Cosby, has been accused by a former actress of forcible Self-Rape. Tamika Jones claims that during the 1980s, she compulsively tuned-in to PBS’s broadcast of “Picture Page” and would masturbate while America’s Male-Sweetheart would draw pictures and tell stories. Miss […]

by July 7, 2015 8 comments Celebrity
Women’s World Cup Soccer Players do Lesbian Sex Act on Field

Women’s World Cup Soccer Players do Lesbian Sex Act on Field

(StopmasturbationNOW)—This past Sunday was the finale of the 2015 Women’s Soccer World cup. A record number of people worldwide tuned in to watch Americans destroy the Chinese and once and for all get revenge for the cowardly Pearl Harbor attacks. Initially viewers were in for a treat as the United States jumped out […]

by July 7, 2015 9 comments Sports
Ten Common Names of Masturbators

Ten Common Names of Masturbators

(StopmasturbationNOW)—A lot of parents don’t take into account masturbation when they name their child. However did you know that a persons name is directly related to how much they masturbate? Here is a list of the top 5 boys and top 5 girls names for masturbation. Boys: Acqwon Darkeem Barack […]

by July 7, 2015 11 comments Family Values
Masturbation Made Illegal In All 50 States

Masturbation Made Illegal In All 50 States

The scourge of masturbation is now on its death throes as the efforts of Brother Lonald “Lonnie” Childs and a recent decision by the Supreme Court has made “Tina’s Law” mandatory in all 50 states. “Tina’s Law”, named after black singing sensation Tina Turner has made masturbation illegal with fines, […]

by July 7, 2015 19 comments Tina's Law
Thoughtful husband watching for his same-race wife to arrive home for some romance

Surprise Sex: The Cure for an Unmotivated Spouse

The leading cause of masturbation among men is lack of sex. The leading cause of female masturbation is also lack of sex. What is the solution? Answer: more procreation with your same-race spouse. Unfortunately, many spouses become unmotivated for sex at the exact moment that their spouse is. This creates […]

by July 3, 2015 5 comments Marital Tips
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