Archive for September, 2015

Masturbators Cause Cucumber Recall in California

Masturbators Cause Cucumber Recall in California

Our friends at Fox News have reported on a “salmonella outbreak” that has caused the recall of cucumbers in California. While it is true that there has been a mass recall of the unfortunately shaped vegetable in the state, the Big Masturbation media handlers have once again covered up the […]

by September 8, 2015 4 comments Family Values
Won’t You Please Help?

Won’t You Please Help?

For immediate release: “My brothers and sisters…I, Lonald “Lonnie” Childs, having fought the scourge of masturbation for decades now must come to you in our most desperate hour.  The 30% tithe of their gross income that my followers pay has in the past been sufficient to fund my ministry and […]

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