Articles by: augustweisz
In civilized society of old, masturbators were ridiculed and looked down upon. People saw masturbation as a pox and something that caused blindness, fishy smelling fingers, and hairy palms. However, Satan has been hard at work in changing the mind of man. Recently, masturbation has been labeled “okay”, “cool” and […]
(StopmasturbationNOW)— Turkeys days as the “Masturbation Capital of the Black Sea” are almost over. A anti masturbation advocate and follower of Lonnie Childs has led a military coup in Turkey. SMN founder and leader Lonnie Childs released the following statement. “Our friends in the Turkish military have taken over […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— Archeologists from the Wyoming institute of Technology discovered evidence of an ancient society that was obviously ant-masturbation. Digging in the foothills of the Crimea, a team of 12 men found a metal glove designed to prevent masturbation. “I think they have found evidence of what may be the first […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—This seasons WNBA season has come to a close. Sometime in the last couple of months the regular season ended and a champion was crowned we assume. The WNBA is a lot like the NBA except where in the NBA both genders are welcome the WNBA excludes men to give […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— Fall is one of the best times of the year. Hard working Americans get to reap the fruits of their labor, football is back, and baseball gets its World Series. But another one of the best things of the fall is Halloween and all the fun costumes and treats. […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—There is nothing in the universe more disgusting or selfish than female masturbation. To prove this point we got a $50,000 grant from the Federal Government and The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow. Nothing is more true than someone’s natural instinct and immediate reaction. So we exposed 100 people to […]
(StopMasturbationNow)—A good clean haircut is a staple of male family values. However People working on building our North Idaho Compound and Traveling through the State of Washington were warned by local faithful to avoid a certain barber shop. The place in question is Blades and Fades. A local haircutting […]
(StopmasturbationNOW)—This past Sunday was the finale of the 2015 Women’s Soccer World cup. A record number of people worldwide tuned in to watch Americans destroy the Chinese and once and for all get revenge for the cowardly Pearl Harbor attacks. Initially viewers were in for a treat as the United States jumped out […]
(StopmasturbationNOW)—A lot of parents don’t take into account masturbation when they name their child. However did you know that a persons name is directly related to how much they masturbate? Here is a list of the top 5 boys and top 5 girls names for masturbation. Boys: Acqwon Darkeem Barack […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—One central theme constantly comes up on our masturbation hotline. “I need help! I saw a redheaded girl today and I’m having trouble not masturbating.” But what makes it true, is it the uniqueness that drives men crazy, is it the pale and therefore more attractive skin? Or is it […]
