Articles by: augustweisz

A female masturbator in the throes of self-rape.

Is Masturbation Rape?

In civilized society of old, masturbators were ridiculed and looked down upon. People saw masturbation as a pox and something that caused blindness, fishy smelling fingers, and hairy palms. However, Satan has been hard at work in changing the mind of man. Recently, masturbation has been labeled “okay”, “cool” and […]

by March 25, 2020 14 comments Morals, Science
Turkish soldiers are seen on the Asian side of Istanbul, Friday, July 15, 2016. A group within Turkey's military has engaged in what appeared to be an attempted coup, the prime minister said, with military jets flying over the capital and reports of vehicles blocking two major bridges in Istanbul. Prime Minister Binali Yildirim told NTV television: "it is correct that there was an attempt," when asked if there was a coup. (AP Photo/Emrah Gurel)

Anti Masturbation Group Leads Coup to Fix Turkey

(StopmasturbationNOW)— Turkeys days as the “Masturbation Capital of the Black Sea” are almost over. A anti masturbation advocate and follower of Lonnie Childs has led a military coup in Turkey.   SMN founder and leader Lonnie Childs released the following statement. “Our friends in the Turkish military have taken over […]

by July 15, 2016 3 comments World
Archeologists find Ancient Anti-Masturbation Glove

Archeologists find Ancient Anti-Masturbation Glove

(StopMasturbationNOW)— Archeologists from the Wyoming institute of Technology discovered evidence of an ancient society that was obviously ant-masturbation. Digging in the foothills of the Crimea, a team of 12 men found a metal glove designed to prevent masturbation. “I think they have found evidence of what may be the first […]

by January 25, 2016 6 comments Science
WNBA Season Comes to a Close

WNBA Season Comes to a Close

(StopMasturbationNOW)—This seasons WNBA season has come to a close. Sometime in the last couple of months the regular season ended and a champion was crowned we assume. The WNBA is a lot like the NBA except where in the NBA both genders are welcome the WNBA excludes men to give […]

by October 14, 2015 0 comments Sports
Family Values Approved Halloween Ghost Cookies Recipe

Family Values Approved Halloween Ghost Cookies Recipe

(StopMasturbationNOW)— Fall is one of the best times of the year. Hard working Americans get to reap the fruits of their labor, football is back, and baseball gets its World Series. But another one of the best things of the fall is Halloween and all the fun costumes and treats. […]

by October 12, 2015 4 comments Lifestyle
Pictures of People Watching a 19 Year old Girl Masturbate

Pictures of People Watching a 19 Year old Girl Masturbate

(StopMasturbationNOW)—There is nothing in the universe more disgusting or selfish than female masturbation. To prove this point we got a $50,000 grant from the Federal Government and The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow. Nothing is more true than someone’s natural instinct and immediate reaction. So we exposed 100 people to […]

by September 14, 2015 8 comments Science
Is Blades and Fades a Safe Place to get a Haircut?

Is Blades and Fades a Safe Place to get a Haircut?

(StopMasturbationNow)—A good clean haircut is a staple of male family values. However People working on building our North Idaho Compound and Traveling through the State of Washington were warned by local faithful to avoid a certain barber shop.   The place in question is Blades and Fades. A local haircutting […]

by September 12, 2015 0 comments Lifestyle
Women’s World Cup Soccer Players do Lesbian Sex Act on Field

Women’s World Cup Soccer Players do Lesbian Sex Act on Field

(StopmasturbationNOW)—This past Sunday was the finale of the 2015 Women’s Soccer World cup. A record number of people worldwide tuned in to watch Americans destroy the Chinese and once and for all get revenge for the cowardly Pearl Harbor attacks. Initially viewers were in for a treat as the United States jumped out […]

by July 7, 2015 9 comments Sports
Ten Common Names of Masturbators

Ten Common Names of Masturbators

(StopmasturbationNOW)—A lot of parents don’t take into account masturbation when they name their child. However did you know that a persons name is directly related to how much they masturbate? Here is a list of the top 5 boys and top 5 girls names for masturbation. Boys: Acqwon Darkeem Barack […]

by July 7, 2015 11 comments Family Values
Do Redheads Raise Masturbation Rates?

Do Redheads Raise Masturbation Rates?

(StopMasturbationNOW)—One central theme constantly comes up on our masturbation hotline. “I need help! I saw a redheaded girl today and I’m having trouble not masturbating.” But what makes it true, is it the uniqueness that drives men crazy, is it the pale and therefore more attractive skin? Or is it […]

by June 18, 2015 20 comments Morals
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