Articles by: Stop Masturbation Now

Does Masturbation Hurt your Credit Score?

Does Masturbation Hurt your Credit Score?

(StopMasturbationNOW)—A good credit score can be a major factor in your quality of life. Anything from home ownership to the quality of spouse you attract is directly tied to your FICO score. Many things affect your credit score. If you’ve just moved to the USA then you may need to […]

by April 17, 2020 12 comments Money
Sign Our Petition to Get American Actor Hugh Jackman to Change His Offensive Name

Sign Our Petition to Get American Actor Hugh Jackman to Change His Offensive Name

(StopMasturbationNOW)—This is a reminder that we need more signatures to force American actor Hugh Jackman to change his offensive name. As of noon 6/12/2015 we have had 753,252 signatures which is over 75% of the needed one million required to force a name change. Our children are bombarded with anti […]

by September 14, 2016 62 comments Celebrity
Harambe is Slang for Male Masturbation

Harambe is Slang for Male Masturbation

Dear Lonnie, My 13 Year-old son wants to buy a Harambe t shirt. I asked him what it meant and he had trouble explaining it to me. It sounds kind of ethnic? Can you provide any guidance? Patricia Hunt   Pat, Thank you for writing. You are right to worry. […]

by September 12, 2016 17 comments Ask Lonnie
Nov 5, 2015; Columbia, MO, USA; EPSN analyst Tim Tebow looks on prior to the game between the Missouri Tigers and the Mississippi State Bulldogs at Faurot Field. Mandatory Credit: Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

How many Gold Medals Would Tim Tebow Win if he was at the Olympics?

Dear Lonnie, how many medals would Tim Tebow win if he was at the Olympics? Bart Tanner 13   Well Bart, the easy answer of course would be all of them. Laughing Out Loud! But seriously, it is a great question and involves a lot of thought. As a hypothetical […]

by August 9, 2016 8 comments Ask Lonnie, Rio 2016
Rio 2016 Medal Table By Race

Rio 2016 Medal Table By Race

[table id=4 /]   Continuing Rio 2016 Coverage

by August 8, 2016 4 comments Rio 2016
Rio 2016: Semen, Lesbians and Crocodiles, and All This Before Any Medals Have Been Won

Rio 2016: Semen, Lesbians and Crocodiles, and All This Before Any Medals Have Been Won

(StopMasturbationNOW)— Not a single Olympic medal has been awarded yet and already these Olympics have been an utter travesty. You would think these are the special Olympics but there is nothing special in Rio. Hundreds of athletes have reported semen stained bedding and in some cases semen caked on the […]

by August 5, 2016 10 comments Rio 2016
Faith Scientists: Masturbation causes Tzatziki Virus

Faith Scientists: Masturbation causes Tzatziki Virus

(StopMasturbationNOW)—One of this year’s hottest topics has been the dreaded Tzatziki Virus. Pronounced “Zeekah” the virus has received extra attention due to the Olympics being held in the largest Mexican territory of Brazil this year. A breakthrough has occurred as Faith Scientists discovered this week the origins of the virus. […]

by June 23, 2016 12 comments Science
Print Your Own Free Masturbation Promise Father’s Day Card

Print Your Own Free Masturbation Promise Father’s Day Card

(StopMasturbationNOW)—This coming Sunday is Father’s Day. Make sure you tell your father you love him and respect his values by printing and signing your very own SMN Industries Fathers Day Promise card. Click on the graphic below or here on this link and then print it.  Cut along the dotted […]

by June 17, 2016 10 comments Fun and Games
Can a Trump Tebow Presidential Ticket Deliver a 50 State Landslide

Can a Trump Tebow Presidential Ticket Deliver a 50 State Landslide

(StopMasturbationNOW)—President Trump is headed to a easy victory this coming November, however he has one last task to make sure that victory is absolute and turned into a mandate from the people. That one thing to do is to pick a running mate. A running mate is probably one of […]

by June 17, 2016 2 comments Politics
Insanity, Incest, and Inebriation: Is it Time to Ban Australia Day?

Insanity, Incest, and Inebriation: Is it Time to Ban Australia Day?

(StopMasturbationNOW)—When you say Australia, most of the world thinks about prison colonies, Crocodile Dundee, Olympic cheaters, terrible music, and kangaroos. But the reality is much much darker than that. Australia was founded as the prison for the western world, sexual deviants, masturbators, homosexuals, rapists, and murders were put here as […]

by January 26, 2016 12 comments Foreigners
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