Articles by: Julian Taylor
It is not often that the shrill caterwauling of the socially destructive feminist movement could ever be considered to hold something in common with socially responsible Christian conservatism, yet on the subject of self-rape we really should be natural bedfellows [figuratively speaking, of course]. You see, the group that masturbation […]
A miracle has occurred this week, as Stop Masturbation Now founder and American Hero, Lonnie Childs, has intervened to save the immortal soul of a parishioner known simply as ‘Thomas’. ‘Thomas’ was asleep in bed when a miracle sent by Lonnie Childs awakened him in order to alert ‘Thomas’ to […]
The launch of Stop Masturbation Now’s Anti-Masturbation Cross™ has met with unqualified success over the past twenty-four hours, crashing our holy netsite with pre-orders and projecting our bold design to seemingly every corner of the internet. Alas, no good turn goes unpunished – as it seems that the forces […]
Tragedy struck the village of Leeds, West Yorkshire this week, when a masturbating father was too busy pleasuring himself with the base gratification of self-rape to notice that his daughter, a toddler, had walked behind his reversing car – a judgement lapse that was to prove fatal! Why does it […]
Myth: It is OK to let doctors masturbate me because scLIEnce says that I must allow them to smear my paps! Status: B U S T E D! Nice try ladies! This line of reasoning completely falls apart when one considers the findings of The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow, […]
