Articles by: Julian Taylor

Repeat this affirmation daily and be at peace my Brothers and Sisters.

Miracle: Lonnie’s Celestial Intervention Prevents Parishioner From Self-Raping!

A miracle has occurred this week, as Stop Masturbation Now founder and American Hero, Lonnie Childs, has intervened to save the immortal soul of a parishioner known simply as ‘Thomas’. ‘Thomas’ was asleep in bed when a miracle sent by Lonnie Childs awakened him in order to alert ‘Thomas’ to […]

From supreme gentlemen to masturarchy supremacist all in a matter of months! #Yesallmasturbatorsrape

[Opinion]: Anti-Masturbation Is the Only Logical Stance for Feminists to Take on the Issue of Self-Rape

It is not often that the shrill caterwauling of the socially destructive feminist movement could ever be considered to hold something in common with socially responsible Christian conservatism, yet on the subject of self-rape we really should be natural bedfellows [figuratively speaking, of course]. You see, the group that masturbation […]

They want to turn our kids into perverts!

[UNCOVERED]: The Big Masturbation Plot to Self-Rape Our Children

  The launch of Stop Masturbation Now’s Anti-Masturbation Cross™ has met with unqualified success over the past twenty-four hours, crashing our holy netsite with pre-orders and projecting our bold design to seemingly every corner of the internet.  Alas, no good turn goes unpunished – as it seems that the forces […]

by July 1, 2014 106 comments Morals, Self-Rape Prevention
Masturbation Is the Pits – How Many More Innocents Must Suffer?

Masturbation Is the Pits – How Many More Innocents Must Suffer?

Tragedy struck the village of Leeds, West Yorkshire this week, when a masturbating father was too busy pleasuring himself with the base gratification of self-rape to notice that his daughter, a toddler, had walked behind his reversing car – a judgement lapse that was to prove fatal! Why does it […]

by June 25, 2014 30 comments Foreigners

Masturbation Mythbusters: Medical Masturbation – The Dismal ScLIEnce

Myth: It is OK to let doctors masturbate me because scLIEnce says that I must allow them to smear my paps! Status: B U S T E D! Nice try ladies! This line of reasoning completely falls apart when one considers the findings of The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow, […]

by May 30, 2014 5 comments Uncategorized
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