Celebrity

Good Guy Pat Sajak

Good Guy Pat Sajak

by March 14, 2020 3 comments Celebrity, Disciples, Morals, Trending
Bill Cosby Credited with Striking-Down California’s Statute of Limitations on Self-Rape

Bill Cosby Credited with Striking-Down California’s Statute of Limitations on Self-Rape

Sometimes we have heroes among us and sometimes they are in Hollywood.  Earlier this week, California Governor Jerry Brown signed a monumental bill into law, for which many people credit Bill Cosby for making an idea, a reality. In July of 2015, SMN reported the case of a woman who accused […]

by October 1, 2016 7 comments Celebrity
Sign Our Petition to Get American Actor Hugh Jackman to Change His Offensive Name

Sign Our Petition to Get American Actor Hugh Jackman to Change His Offensive Name

(StopMasturbationNOW)—This is a reminder that we need more signatures to force American actor Hugh Jackman to change his offensive name. As of noon 6/12/2015 we have had 753,252 signatures which is over 75% of the needed one million required to force a name change. Our children are bombarded with anti […]

by September 14, 2016 62 comments Celebrity
R.I.P. Gene Wilder

R.I.P. Gene Wilder

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by August 31, 2016 8 comments Celebrity
Who's the top self-rape threat to our precious youth? Deadpool...that's who!

Self-Rape Alert: Deadpool

SMN Safford, AZ-The tireless duty of Christian Parents to prevent and punish the vile sin of masturbation has become much harder (pardon the pun) since the opening of the box office smash, Deadpool in local theaters. A disturbing parental alert has been issued by the Faith Advisory Parental Media Information […]

by March 14, 2016 13 comments Celebrity
David Bowie Dead Of Cancer

David Bowie Dead Of Cancer

ENGLAND, PROBABLY, MAYBE SCOTLAND (SMNNN) Horrible androgen Martian-spider/human hybrid Sex-goblin rockpop icon, and profuse masturbator David Bowie succumbed to various masturbation related cancers today, he was 69 years old. Bowie, long an androgynous mess of a waste of sinning oxygen, had a long and storied career beginning in 1978 when […]

BLUFF Calls for a Boycott of the New Star Wars Movie

BLUFF Calls for a Boycott of the New Star Wars Movie

Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (BLUFF), along with the N.A.A.W.P., has announced a boycott and will schedule protests of the new Star Wars movie on the grounds that it discriminates against Self Celibate Normals. In a press release issued by the B.L.U.F.F. Legal Action Foundation (BLUFF-LAF), Brother Lonnie Childs’ words […]

by January 5, 2016 15 comments Celebrity
83 Signs Your Underage Daughter is a Harlot

83 Signs Your Underage Daughter is a Harlot

[Special thanks to Larry Thomas for his contribution to this sacred undertaking] Ever wondered if your daughter was a harlot? There are obvious signs, like if she watches some of the hot videos on watchmygirlfriend regularly. But now you can know for sure! According to recently updated BDSM-5 (Biblical Diagnostics […]

Hollywood bad boy Charlie Sheen has been struck down by God.  Praise!

Hollywood Bad Boy Charlie Sheen Reveals That He Has the HIV-AIDS!

Hollyweird, CA – Hollywood bad boy Charlie Sheen, star of the homosexual situation-comedy program Two and 1/2 Half Man, announced that he has been punished by God for masturbating and has been cursed with the HIV-AIDS.  Those who have been monitoring Sheen’s masturbatory practices are not surprised by the news. “Chuck was the first major success story for the SMN ministries self-celibacy/Normalcy program […]

by December 21, 2015 4 comments Celebrity
Fappy Sentenced To Eight Years Imprisonment

Fappy Sentenced To Eight Years Imprisonment

SAFFORD AZ (SMNNN) Paul Horner, the man inside the Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin furry mascot suit has been sentenced to eight years in federal prison following his arrest for accosting sea-animals at Sea World aquarium. Saul Reubenstein, Horner’s attorney says they tried really hard, but the evidence against Paul Horner […]

by December 2, 2015 9 comments Celebrity, Compound News, Crime, Trending, World
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