A Chilling Glimpse into the Mind of a Self-Rapist
Please send all women and children out of the room before viewing the image!
Faces of Masturbation
Youth Pastor Announces that Masturbation is Healthy and Does Not Make You Gay, Church Burns to Ground
Cason, TX is a small community, barely on the map and tucked deep inside NE Texas among pine trees and red clay earth. Proud people live there – good people of God, quick to lend a hand when help is needed and slow to change as the world passes them […]
FACES OF MASTURBATION SERIES, SUCCESS STORIES: “Michael J.”
“Michael J.” was once a ferocious self-rapist as evidenced in his “before” photo. Note the vacant eyes, the grotesquely bulbous nose, the self-righteous smirk and the anti-establishment afro hairstyle. Michael was just another hell-bound masturbator, destined to spend eternity as Satan’s personal sock puppet. Look at him NOW! After meeting […]
Australian Man Marries Hand in Secret Ceremony
One’s own hand may, sadly to some, become known as a lonely man’s only friend, but one Australian has taken his self love to an entirely new level by marrying his cherished appendage. According to the Down Under Times, Joe Grosser wed his hand, which he named, “Honey,” under a […]
David Bowie Dead Of Cancer
ENGLAND, PROBABLY, MAYBE SCOTLAND (SMNNN) Horrible androgen Martian-spider/human hybrid Sex-goblin rockpop icon, and profuse masturbator David Bowie succumbed to various masturbation related cancers today, he was 69 years old. Bowie, long an androgynous mess of a waste of sinning oxygen, had a long and storied career beginning in 1978 when […]
The Faces of Masturbation: “Reginald D.”
The heartbreaking story of “Reginald D.” is a classic case of an individual who self-raped so often and so vigorously that he eventually became bored with his own sin-scepter and chose to become a hardcore homosexual in order to experience the thrill of new ones. He is now known throughout […]
THE FACES OF MASTURBATION: “THOMAS Y.”
Masturbators for the most part look just like you or I but upon closer inspection subtle differences become apparent. Witness this lost soul, who we will call “Thomas Y.”, who has recently been diagnosed with stage-2 masturbation astigmatism. Please print out this picture and carry it with you at all […]
Why are People Masturbating While Watching The Walking Dead?
(StopMasturbationNOW)—One of the most popular television shows this decade has been The Walking Dead. It is a show about a rag tag group of survivors fighting their way through a post-apocalyptic world. The show seems innocent enough, however our data shows a marked increase in masturbation and masturbation related activities […]
Five of the Worst Places to Masturbate
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Masturbation is bad anywhere but sometimes you have to question the mental state of even masturbators. We get hundreds of letters per week from our followers offering support, donations, requesting help, and lots of stories. Well, here are five stories about masturbators poor choices concerning location and timing of masturbation. […]
Are You Wiener Warrior or Slave to your Weiner? Interactive Quiz
(StopMasturbationNOW)—We find that there are two types of people in this world. Those who control their urges, don’t masturbate, and therefore lead happy productive healthy lives. Then there are those who live to serve their penis, ones who constantly need to touch it in a cycle of shame, insecurity, dependency, […]
