Disciples / History / Morals / World

POT KILLS: Chasing The Marijuana Dragon

The following is the story Grandpa Shalavin told me about the dangers of marijuana when I was a little kid.

2,000 years ago when Jesus first discovered America, 3 masturbators were walking through the forest. Suddenly a big shadow passes over their heads and a big dragon lands in front of them.

“Each one of you better give me something I like”, – says the dragon – “or I will bite your heads off”.

The first masturbator hands the dragon a cigarette.  Dragon takes a puff, starts coughing, gets mad, and bites the masturbators head off.

The second masturbator hands dragon a bottle of vodka. Dragon takes a sip, starts coughing, spits it out, and bites the masturbators head off.

The third masturbator hands the dragon a pot bong. Dragon injects the pot, starts smiling, and touching himself. “Yes,”- says the dragon – “this I like!” And lets the masturbator go.

As the masturbator is running home, a big shadow passes over his head, and the dragon lands in front of him. “Sorry man, I got the munchies” – said the dragon, and bit the masturbators head off.

 

-Nikita Shalavin, homogay conversion therapist and high deacon at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.)

3.4 59 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
49 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Jake
Jake
7 years ago

Pot does not kill. Name one instance of a marijuana overdose?

Joseph Portaco
7 years ago
Reply to  Jake

Jake, if you would stop injecting so much pot-weed you would be able to understand the dangers.

Jake
Jake
7 years ago

Yes. And I’m calling you Guys liars and/or fucking dumbfucks Bc you do not inject weed. And it does not kill you. But please. Tell me when someone has died from OD on weed?

Jake
Jake
7 years ago

YOU DO NOT INJECT WEED. I DONT INJECT WEED. NOBODY INJECTS WEED. WEED IS NOT INJECTED.

Jake
Jake
7 years ago

Okay, so, when you say inject.. You mean put into a syringe And shot into the body? Bc you can totally do that with a plant. It’s called smoking, eating, and vaporizing it. laughing out loud

Jake
Jake
7 years ago

MORAL: POT, WEED, MARIJUANA, OR WHATEVER YOU BASTARDS CALL IT, IS NOT INJECTED.

InkTheSansation
InkTheSansation
8 days ago

Drugs such as LSD or Magic Mushrooms are dissolved on the tongue/eaten, Pot and Marijuana are smoked, cocaine is snorted through the nose, and HEROIN is injected. If you’re going to write an article, please fucking do it correctly!

No.
No.
7 years ago

You know Advil is a drug, pills are drugs, cigars are drugs.

Jake
Jake
7 years ago

Listen bro, I don’t even use the shit. But I’ve watched cheech & chong and I am educated enough to know that you do not use a needle for pot. I suppose you believe cocaine is injected too?

Isuxminoff
Isuxminoff
7 months ago
Reply to  Jake

But you can inject cocaine my frient

Vengeance Is Mine
Vengeance Is Mine
1 year ago

Actually numbnuts, that’s EXACTLY what’s hat

potsmoking gay furry nazi vore hentai fister
potsmoking gay furry nazi vore hentai fister
6 months ago

UwU daddy nuzzles pwease: FUCK MY ASS SO GODDAMN HARD AND CLEANSE MY MOUTH WITH YOUR MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF HORSELIKE CUM !
uwu nuzzles

potsmoking gay furry nazi feet vore hentai fister
potsmoking gay furry nazi feet vore hentai fister
6 months ago

I am not calling you a liar i am calling you Daddy who : FUCKS MY ASS EVERYNIGHT AND DAY AND FILLS MY ASS WITH CUM WHICH YOU THEN SHOVE IN MY ASS WITH MORE PLEASURING CUM IN HORSELIKE QUANTITIES. YES DADDY PLAY WITH MY HORSETITS. SUCK MY HORSE ASS. FONDLE MY SHRIMP SIZED BALLS AND PLACE YOUR BOWLINGBALL SIZED BALLS IN MY MOUTH. uwu “do you wanna watch some gay furry nazi feet vore hentai while I gobble on your scrumptious phallus ?” I ask hopeful “Yeah” you say in a angry voice as you take your Horsesized dick… Read more »

no the worst the worst of all time arrived.jpg
niggalover
niggalover
5 months ago

why?

Sie Horsecock Cummingswprt
Sie Horsecock Cummingswprt
3 months ago

These ppl can’t be fr right? 😂😂

what the fuck I do with my life
what the fuck I do with my life
1 month ago

uwu

ShellyRichey
7 years ago

Oh, you don’t think anyone has ever died of marijuana overdose? Here’s your “one instance.” Marijuana – Not even ONCE.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-dorset-25968093

Jake
Jake
7 years ago
Reply to  ShellyRichey

Okay okay okay sure maybe have me beat in that instance but weed is so uncommon to kill someone. And to link that to masturbation being evil is ridiculous. You guys are so abnormal. Question: if I scratch my balls because they itch am I going to hell?
Praying AT you!(:

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  Jake

Answer: Yes

Jake
Jake
7 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

Y’all are fuckin rediculous 8==D

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  Jake

Enjoy triple-hell!

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
7 years ago
Reply to  Jake

Thanks for sharing your submarine drawing.

Alan A
Alan A
7 years ago

You are such a cunt.

No.
No.
7 years ago

Nice photo stealing from someone with talent with photo shop.

No.
No.
7 years ago

I know people that smoke weed aka marijuana and no bad things have happened to their Heath and I do not smoke since I’m only 15 but I’m still smarter than you people.

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  No.

Typically, pot weed injectors are always in denial. Seeing as you’re only 15 months old, your opinion counts for nothing.

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
7 years ago
Reply to  No.

Bad things happened to Heath Ledger and he probably smoked weed.

No.
No.
7 years ago

Ahhh automatic 32 dislikes. Mmmm nice nice no other opinions than yours guys right?

Ray
Ray
7 years ago

this is just hillarious hahaha lmfao here you guys shoud all go for a Career as stand up comedians couse you have Great Material hahahahahaha

Jerry
Jerry
7 years ago

Lol this is fucked up

Mike
Mike
1 year ago

Wait how did this convo happen 6 years ago when this article was listed LAST WEAK??! I’m going to loosen my ouch pouch and call the internet police. #ACABEIP

Liz
Liz
10 months ago
Reply to  Mike

Have you been injecting pot bongs too? Masturbator detected, praying for you

Sir Horsecock Cummingsworth
Sir Horsecock Cummingsworth
3 months ago
Reply to  Liz

I inject sour diesel in my cock daily 😐

Gradnuk Breaker of Worlds

When Jesus discovered America?!? Hahahaha at first I thought this was serious. Good one guys.
Lovin the 2000 year old cigarettes and Vodka too. And the bit where Jesus clearly doesn’t have a problem with masturbators

Avid Masturbator
Avid Masturbator
10 months ago

You’re writing is beautiful. It has inspired me to simultaneously rip my bong and tug my dick to your profile picture.

Ryan
Ryan
10 months ago

There is no way possible u guys aren’t internet trolls. NOBODY can be this dam stupid. I can’t believe that I have to clarify this but u CANNOT inject marijuana. U can only inject meth, heroin, cocaine, and alcohol. And most important u cannot for from marijuana. This HAS to be a joke.

NiggerHater
NiggerHater
5 months ago
Reply to  Ryan

Trust me bro, you can inject alot more than that. Weed fuck no you cant but ketamine, mdma, and hundreds of others

Cheryl
Cheryl
10 months ago

Dragons find masturbators crunchy and particularly tasty dipped in ketchup! Known fact! Keep your hands away from where your swimsuit covers you and dragons think you taste bad. Safety first!

potsmoking gay furry nazi vore hentai fister
potsmoking gay furry nazi vore hentai fister
6 months ago

Great Story ! I am currently fisting myself to the thought of Pot smoking gay furry vore tentacle bowser hentai.
Heil !!!

potsmoking gay furry nazi vore hentai fister
potsmoking gay furry nazi vore hentai fister
6 months ago

# smoking while killing a tiger and fucking it´s dead corpse and screaming “Heil gay nazi furry hentai

Jack off
Jack off
5 months ago

Lol. Wtf is this shit. Massive troll?

Gopnik Blinski
Gopnik Blinski
4 months ago

forget weed lets talk about crack, you see i smoked so much crack in the 80s the called me thomas the crack engine doctors said that if i survive this addiction my brain would never be the same that i would be some vegetable in a wheelchair, you see i went through it all and i am smart enough to end up on a site where smart people who are definately not sexually frustrated genital gestapos tell the truth about this confusing ever changing world

Sir Horsecock Cummingsworth
Sir Horsecock Cummingsworth
3 months ago
Reply to  Gopnik Blinski

👹

𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔰𝔱 𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔢
𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔰𝔱 𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔢
29 days ago

į̸̉͝m̶͂̒ͅͅ ̵̘̾ä̶̺́͋n̸͔̔̓ ̵̯͋̾å̴̦͘t̸̢̋h̸͔̀ͅḙ̵͌i̸̟̞͘s̸̨̖̓͛ẗ̷̫ ̵̡̬͐n̵̲̰̍͊o̸̪͆͐w̵̭͔̕ ̵̫͔͗b̸͔̅́e̶̪͂͘c̴̨̄̒a̷̱͑u̸̦̻̽ś̶͇ë̷̮́͝ ̴̰̮̉͆ȍ̶̹̰f̸̣͉͝ ̴͈͝͠t̵̮̅̽ḧ̴͖́̎i̶͕̽s̷̨̻͛ ̴̣͒s̷̻̜̃̕í̴̦̌t̶̳̠̓̇e̵̯̹͒ ̸͔͘l̸̝̊̃ṃ̴͙̐f̷̳̦̒a̴̫̍̕ỏ̴̱̮