Disciples / History / Morals / World

POT KILLS: Chasing The Marijuana Dragon

The following is the story Grandpa Shalavin told me about the dangers of marijuana when I was a little kid.

2,000 years ago when Jesus first discovered America, 3 masturbators were walking through the forest. Suddenly a big shadow passes over their heads and a big dragon lands in front of them.

“Each one of you better give me something I like”, – says the dragon – “or I will bite your heads off”.

The first masturbator hands the dragon a cigarette.  Dragon takes a puff, starts coughing, gets mad, and bites the masturbators head off.

The second masturbator hands dragon a bottle of vodka. Dragon takes a sip, starts coughing, spits it out, and bites the masturbators head off.

The third masturbator hands the dragon a pot bong. Dragon injects the pot, starts smiling, and touching himself. “Yes,”- says the dragon – “this I like!” And lets the masturbator go.

As the masturbator is running home, a big shadow passes over his head, and the dragon lands in front of him. “Sorry man, I got the munchies” – said the dragon, and bit the masturbators head off.

 

-Nikita Shalavin, homogay conversion therapist and high deacon at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.)

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Jake
Jake
6 years ago

Pot does not kill. Name one instance of a marijuana overdose?

Joseph Portaco
6 years ago
Reply to  Jake

Jake, if you would stop injecting so much pot-weed you would be able to understand the dangers.

Jake
Jake
6 years ago

Yes. And I’m calling you Guys liars and/or fucking dumbfucks Bc you do not inject weed. And it does not kill you. But please. Tell me when someone has died from OD on weed?

Jake
Jake
6 years ago

YOU DO NOT INJECT WEED. I DONT INJECT WEED. NOBODY INJECTS WEED. WEED IS NOT INJECTED.

Jake
Jake
6 years ago

Okay, so, when you say inject.. You mean put into a syringe And shot into the body? Bc you can totally do that with a plant. It’s called smoking, eating, and vaporizing it. laughing out loud

Jake
Jake
6 years ago

MORAL: POT, WEED, MARIJUANA, OR WHATEVER YOU BASTARDS CALL IT, IS NOT INJECTED.

No.
No.
6 years ago

You know Advil is a drug, pills are drugs, cigars are drugs.

Jake
Jake
6 years ago

Listen bro, I don’t even use the shit. But I’ve watched cheech & chong and I am educated enough to know that you do not use a needle for pot. I suppose you believe cocaine is injected too?

Vengeance Is Mine
Vengeance Is Mine
1 month ago

Actually numbnuts, that’s EXACTLY what’s hat

ShellyRichey
6 years ago

Oh, you don’t think anyone has ever died of marijuana overdose? Here’s your “one instance.” Marijuana – Not even ONCE.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-dorset-25968093

Jake
Jake
6 years ago
Reply to  ShellyRichey

Okay okay okay sure maybe have me beat in that instance but weed is so uncommon to kill someone. And to link that to masturbation being evil is ridiculous. You guys are so abnormal. Question: if I scratch my balls because they itch am I going to hell?
Praying AT you!(:

Truffle
6 years ago
Reply to  Jake

Answer: Yes

Jake
Jake
6 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

Y’all are fuckin rediculous 8==D

Truffle
6 years ago
Reply to  Jake

Enjoy triple-hell!

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
6 years ago
Reply to  Jake

Thanks for sharing your submarine drawing.

Alan A
Alan A
6 years ago

You are such a cunt.

No.
No.
6 years ago

Nice photo stealing from someone with talent with photo shop.

No.
No.
6 years ago

I know people that smoke weed aka marijuana and no bad things have happened to their Heath and I do not smoke since I’m only 15 but I’m still smarter than you people.

Truffle
6 years ago
Reply to  No.

Typically, pot weed injectors are always in denial. Seeing as you’re only 15 months old, your opinion counts for nothing.

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
6 years ago
Reply to  No.

Bad things happened to Heath Ledger and he probably smoked weed.

No.
No.
6 years ago

Ahhh automatic 32 dislikes. Mmmm nice nice no other opinions than yours guys right?

Ray
Ray
6 years ago

this is just hillarious hahaha lmfao here you guys shoud all go for a Career as stand up comedians couse you have Great Material hahahahahaha

Jerry
Jerry
6 years ago

Lol this is fucked up

Mike
Mike
1 month ago

Wait how did this convo happen 6 years ago when this article was listed LAST WEAK??! I’m going to loosen my ouch pouch and call the internet police. #ACABEIP

Gradnuk Breaker of Worlds

When Jesus discovered America?!? Hahahaha at first I thought this was serious. Good one guys.
Lovin the 2000 year old cigarettes and Vodka too. And the bit where Jesus clearly doesn’t have a problem with masturbators