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Merriam-Webster Adds Anti-Masturbation Word to Their Dictionary : FAPSTINENCE

After months of lobbying, we here at STOP Masturbation NOW are proud to announce a major victory over the powerful forces of Big Masturbation and enemies of God-given morals everywhere!  Praise!  The good folks at Merriam-Webster have added the word “Fapstinence” to their dictionary, acknowledging all of the hard work our self-celibacy movement has achieved while striking a devastating blow to those who would lock their bedroom doors on Christ so that they can rape themselves.

 

God bless some of you!

-Lonnie Childs

 

 

 

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Truffle
7 years ago

PRAISE, MUCH PRAISE!

Sister Connie Ling-Huis
Sister Connie Ling-Huis
7 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

I look forward to using “fapstinence” in my next heated game of Scrabble!

Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago

Lonnie please put up more of your pictures so I can have more things to masturbate with when I login to this site! And hi truffle! When are you going to show us those lovely breasts of yours? Or is that something that you save for your dad and your brothers and your pastor? Oh I’ve got to go. My sin stick is calling me and I need to rub one out!

Praise my penis!

Milton Grits
7 years ago
Reply to  Jimmy

What sort of demonic talk is that? Think twice before sexually assaulting our covenant, in your one-track mind or otherwise!

A person
A person
7 years ago
Reply to  Milton Grits

Dude no….just no

Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago

Oh Milton don’t be such a prude! If only you could admit that the idea of having a circle jerk with Lonnie, Carlos and me where we wank each other so that we aren’t self raping turns you on then maybe you’ll be able to loosen that tie and get some circulation to you narrow mind. And please do your best to convince Truffle to post some pics of her breasts, you know she and Cathy Redmond are part of my masturbation fantasy as well, Truffle is the fluffer and Cathy is the clean up bitch!

Praise

Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago

I forgot to mention Jasper Centaur and dexter b. They’re part of my masturbation fantasy too!

Sister Connie Ling-Huis
Sister Connie Ling-Huis
7 years ago

Jimmy, I have been praying at you long and hard for the entirety of this holiday weekend. Your non-normal briefs should be causing quite the chafe by now.