Tina’s Law and Your Tax Dollars at Work

As fellow Christians and believers in Brother Lonnie’s divinity you are well aware that South Dakota recently passed Tina’s Law which bans masturbation and dangerous interracial coupling. Many of the naysayers have asked how can you enforce such a law and our answer has always been the Council of Morality and every day citizens who value our freedoms and hate masturbation & dangerous interracial coupling will be the key to making America self-rape and interracial couple free.

It was courageous private citizens who notified the Council of Morality to such a dangerous interracial coupling as they engaged in carnal and sinful acts which is bad enough but also took place in a non-American made car which can result in arrest and imprisonment. Brother Adam Vinateiri (pictured on the left) a high deacon on the council immediately sprang to action and took a platoon of Brother Lonnie’s Christian United Militia (also known as CUM) to make an arrest.  As you can see the Brother Vinateiri is calmly explaining how Brother Lonnie loves all species of human whether their skin color is black, brown, yellow or normal and stressing the dangers of self-rape and interracial relationships.  The young woman seeing the error of her ways broke down crying and was immediately forgiven by Brother Lonnie who was called to the scene to cleanse her with his golden shower of forgiveness.  After taking the STOP Masturbation NOW Pledge of self-celibacy her skin lightened and she began growing normal length hair.  Her normal skinned boyfriend who should have known better was taken back to Safford, Arizona to begin his penance in Brother Lonnie’s bedroom chamber.  Praise!

This is another STOP Masturbation NOW success story along with Michael Jackson and Sammy Sosa.  If you too are a dangerous minority won’t you make today the day you stop masturbating and take the pledge of self-celibacy?  Bless!