Parents, have you ever imagined your child masturbating? Do you worry what they do when your back is turned? Do you fear that they will fall into the grip of Satan?
Worry no more! Introducing the Anti-Masturbation Cross®! Designed by STOP Masturbation NOW engineers, this wondrous restraining device allows you to go about your day without the nagging suspicion that your offspring are treating their bodies like some kind of perverted amusement park.
Now discounted at $199.99, this miracle of modern Christian science is available at www.stopmasturbationnow.org
One size fits all, appropriate for children ages 5-16.
Praise!
THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN, AND I WATCHED THE FIRST EPISODE OF JERSEY SHORE.
Amen nigga
You have masturbation rage! Praying at you now!
Masturbation rage? I for one feel relaxed after.
You can lie to yourself but you can’t lie to us. Why don’t you go and selfrape in front of some cops? Bet you’ll feel reeeeaaalll relaxed then. You sicken me.
How am I lying? And why on earth why would I rub one out in front of the police? I’m not an animal. Just a human being with an IQ above 75 (unlike yourself unfortunately).I think, you sir need to get laid. Give a shot. Marijuana too.
“Marijuana too.” No shock that you’re a hemp bonger. Self rape and marijuanas abuse go hand-in-hand. Appalling.
Excuse me, but how you do “self-raping”?? Raping is a cruely action against the will of the victim while being comfort with your own sexuality and love yourself that much is one of the highest things god gave to us…. Love and multiply says the bible and also love thy neighbor as thyself… though if i’m not loving myself I cant love anybody else… Please do not misuse the lords words for your own opinion, open your eyes and your hearts for the love (of god) and you will realize the gifts he gave to us… No need to be… Read more »
Yeah. Damdest thing, huh? Who would have guessed a pot smoking masturbator could ever be so successful?
Hahahaha, guys just look at Erich, he is as dumb as it gets, seems like he is devoid of any form of critical thinking, yet he is still clueless about the fact that it doesnt stop him from talking through his ass.
I masturbate, and I’ve smoked pot, and I’m also a high flying estate agent with a lovely family and more money than you could dream of. Oh, and god is about as real as the Easter Bunny 🙂
Why don’t you fuck your wife in front of some cops?
i dont think he has one
Uuuuuhh, I’m pretty sure masturbation is consensual, as it is between one person and him(or her)self. Therefore, “selfrape” isn’t even close to a valid description. Also, the dude isn’t lying. Masturbation feels good and doesn’t make you angry. Deal with it. If you think otherwise, then nobody with any sliver of intelligence or the ability to think for themselves has any reason to listen to anything you say.
lmao this site is satire
Unfortunately not….
It is meant to be satire. One of the pages mentions “Hard Dawn” as a trusted news source. Google shows that that’s not a thing, so that leads me to believe that it’s a pun on hard on, the term for a male erection.
daft cunt.
You can’t self rape the willing.
Erich, are you, like, actually for real? I mean, I know you could be, but I’m really hoping somebody couldn’t be as stupid as you. I’m a Christian, but you give us a bad name. This whole website gives Christians a bad name, and the only reason I’m on here is to ridicule it. It’s like a Westboro Baptist Church homepage. Anyway, if you’re serious, your stupidity is really funny, to me. Keep up the laughs, my friends think you’re funny, too. P.S.: I self-love constantly.
I hope you burn in hell you sick demented bitch, go fuck your self with a parsnip
Go get laid, dude!
Your mom asked me to masturbate her last night. It’s a sin to forcefully restrain a child in a fucking straight jacket 😂
i dont think you know what rape is. i was actually raped and comparing masturbation to rape is actually disgusting. masturbation is natural and it’s perfectly healthy to explore sexuality. grow up.
why dont you stick up a deagle .50 up ear and pull the trigger?
Dude he’s trolling you. This is obviously a satire site.
Unfortunately, it isn’t!!!
I’m jacking off to your pic right now as we speak. You look like one of those little bitch boys who enjoys having his sinful entrance stretched and welcomes the warn hard glory into his glory hole.
Me too
Praying at you. Self-rape is a serious sin!
It’s not rape if it’s willingly done
facts my brudda
A serious sin? Where did you get that ? How can be love (in whatever form) be a sin?
Except the Word “self-rape” doesnt exist, raping someone and loving someone are two really opposite things, hope the lord gives you the gift of understanding….
I’m a Christian and i was tought to spread love, not to spread hate to whatever god gaves to us….
Praying for you poor child of anxiety and hope you will find love one day ❤️
What you’ve been saying is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard. Everyone on this site is now dumber for having read it. May He call down a plague of pornography and flying penises upon you, and may He have mercy on your child abusing soul.
Umm your just dumb, masterbation is like kissing a god!
U are a depressed individual
by your physical appearance you should masterbate, good luck at getting a girl you might want to turn gay men are easier! you look like a little boy maybe you will fit on one of those boards! lol ha ha
you cannot tell me you never touched yourself, bro.
This is freakin’ hillarious. In my country we call it child abuse
In my country, joke doesn’t get YOU
You must be from Mexico then where the worst type of people on this planet come from. Only a Mexican would laugh about child abuse. May Saint Lonnie bless you with his Golden Shower of Enlightenment and turn you into a more normal person. Praise!
I’m from Mexico and we don’t laugh about child abuse, you’re really misinformed. I’m sad for your judgmental attitude. We don’t even think of using this “blessed” thing.
I’m Mexican and I don’t laugh about it. So many people, mainly caucasians, come up with all these dumb things about what Mexicans do & what not & it’s so stupid. I’ve gotten bullied many times before & called all these names for being Mexican. So you’re irrelevant. Have a great day 🙂
Marta, I’m from California, and I’m white, and I for one love Mexicans… love their culture, their dedication to family, and their hard work. And I love a nice latina accent… damn sexy…
Um, first that’s racist and “god” is suppose to “love all his children” that includes the WHOLE WORLD and second you don’t ever feel enlightened after a golden shower…probably more sticky :/
😅🤣 made my day, thx 😉
A golden shower….? Does he pee on you…?
Gracie, I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not. If you are, you’re one of the stupidest people I’ve ever met, and on par with your buddies, on this website. They’re not laughing about child abuse, you fucking racist(by the way, how is THAT not some great sin?), they’re pointing out that this fucking immobilization torture device IS child abuse.
I think you guys are so set against masturbation because lame asses such as yourselves would probably never get the chance to reproduce. You know in the back of your head, though not willing to admit even to yourselves, that’s all you’d be doing and you and your dimwitted kind would eventually fade away from existence from lack of effort on trying to get laid. Oh and now your racist God fearing people as well, huh? I am willing to bet not a single person involved with website are half the person I am. I am of Mexican descent and… Read more »
I guess you schooled us then. Laughing out loud on the Internet!
I agree I am a borderline genius (that’s what my I.Q says) who is a Christian who lives an a beautiful home and im 13. he reason you guys on Stop Masturbation fear masturbation is because you overlook the possibility that masturbation is what humans have the desire to do and there is sin in it but if I were a predator I would by this for the sake of torture and I hope this website is a joke if it isn’t than lord save us
Somebody is racist!
You’re 13, and you browse this fucking website? That is a fucking sin.
I’m jacking off while looking at your pics.
no surprise you are a racist given the fact that you are fucking retarded
I for one love to Self love to some latina pornography.
lol you’re an idiot
In my country(US) I called the cops on my neighbor when she used this and I heard the kid screaming, now you have 3 guesses to see who’s facing child abuse charges
haha, you said golden shower //snicker//
Golden shower, huh ? Saint Lonnie seems a bit deviant.
Wow! That as some racist Shit. You need help.
*sniggers* Golden shower, eh?
*golden shower xD
gracie ur a bitch pls go stick a dildo up your christian ass
go to pornhub.com or youporn.com today!
you’re obviously a chronic masturbator
I don’t understand the Pray For and Pray Against buttons they both sound like they are disproving no matter what. When people say I’ll pray for you something horrible is happening and praying against you sounds like you want something horrible to happen to them so you can pray for them instead. Plus masturbation improves mental and immune functions. So people who are against it keep doing what your doing you’ll die before the rest of us and give us sane people some peace and quiet.
Praying AT you!
youre praying at someone instead of god? arent you just the best christian ever
This is child abuse
shit like this is why we have school shootings and shit, all you motherfuckers are fucked im the head, lmfao
Haha laughed my fucking ass off. As an Aussie, it’s nearly impossible for me to comprehend that this isn’t a satirical site. Sadly, I know some evangelicals who are actually this crazily retarded. FUCK HUMANITY. END IT.
amen
‘ERICH SEAN’ lol
Everyone calm down! I’m pretty sure this site is a joke…It is right? I almost lost my mind when I read this shit. The fact that I’m not 100% sure it’s a joke is almost more infuriating. Fuck it I’m burning down a church and beating off in the ashes. Watch me beat my meat God, Strike me in my lightning rod, and if you don’t like what I do, I’ll shoot my sticky load at you!
You do sound like a chronic self-rapist. Most masturbators are highly violent people, and your threats to burn down a church are not surprising in the least. I hope that someday you will see the light, and realize self-rape doesn’t just hurt you, it’s hurts your family, too. I’ll be praying at you.
Never will understand ur dumb ass sayings wtf how tf is it self rape do u even know the definition of rape -__- rape is unwilling wtf is unwilling n shit about masterbaiteing when it’s normal u guys are basically saying anything tht is not, hat. U like is unnatural and wrong and we will go to hell for our “sins” if there really I’s a God he would probably send u dumb asses to he’ll Cuz I’m pretty sure he’d be embarrassed of u hell even the devil would be wtf all of this shit better be a joke… Read more »
Randy Wood must be the best name for an anti-masturbation activist anyone could come up with.
Can’t decide if they’re trolling or not. This is the greatest game of troll or not a troll ever.
Does this come in adult sizes? And is there a way to lock in yourself?
Seriously? If this is what one needs, or desires for better behavior, why not?
FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY
AFTER I TOUCH MY SINZONE
Fuck Erich, you’re a gay cunt, listen to yourself! Find a bridge and jump off please, you worthless piece of shit, seriously you’re depriving oxygen from people that could benefit from it unlike yourself and your zealous little buddies. As a religious person myself I find this whole website a fucking joke, what sane person would use this on their child? I wouldn’t wish this on “normal” people but none of you are, so I hope (fingers crossed) that maybe you can all actually be raped, so you can see what rape really is. I would spit on you, you’re… Read more »
No man. Even if this site is a complete joke; you don’t wish rape on anybody. If you knew a victim you would know it’s not funny. Self rape, sure thats hilarious… it doesn’t exist. You’re religious huh? What would your god say to you if he heard that? Way to kill the vibe with your profane hate. Jackass.
I know why they wanna forbid masturbation!
YOU SHALL NOT WASTE TIME TO HAVE SEX WITH OTHERS AND BECOME PARENTS AT VERY YOUNG AGE!
Let them become more and more…
As a happily married man of 15 years, my wife and I felt an overwhelming desire to express their gratitude of the creation of this God-sent product. However, since I only allow myself and my male children access the internet ( since women are too vulnerable left alone without male supervision ) , my wife will not be commenting on this video and instead my views will also express her views. As I was saying, since the production of this decency device my wife and I no longer fear the the lustful grip of Satan perverting the innocent thoughts of… Read more »
You keep proclaiming your children no longer have sinful thoughts due to this device…no device can take away those thoughts, only physical actions.
Your thinking is delusional & perverse.
After praying long and hard on your comment, I have found your advice enlightening. I will no longer just strap my beautiful children to this holy device, I will also commence the expulsion of Satan from the innocent bodies of my offspring through the “physical actions” that you have suggested. I hope that you are proud of me O Dear Commenter as I now employ routine beatings and burnings to aid in my childrens absolvation in God’s eyes. I especially enjoy employing the burning method as I find it really scares my children from falling from God’s favour and into… Read more »
Why is everyone so butthurt over Christopher’s comments? He’s clearly a well educated, literate troll. Fucking beautiful work, sir.
Whoa! I don’t even know where to start. First, I understand you trying to teach your children to obstain. However, this isn’t teaching. It is forcing. And leaving them in that for hours on end without providing their essential needs, is neglect and abuse. Second, if your children have entered puberty, they masturbate. Period. When you are not looking, they find a way. It’s a natural thing to explore your own body and to feel sexual pleasure. It should be about teaching them why they should obstain and teaching them how to. Because they won’t always be in your house.… Read more »
Well Jaclyn, those must be two cents of pure gold and at a diameter of one foot! One of the few sincere comments here. You are right about the relationship with Christ and God, but this harness might be what somebody needs. The important thing is that the parents understand their children’s needs instead of jumping into the wrong solution. This harness might be the right solution for some, and trying it on yourself is a good way to understand what it does. I also prayed for you.
O.K ur extremely sick and should have ur kids taken away from u God damn how the fuck are u even allowed to have custody of your kids and wife when u obviously abuse ur wife saying that all women are to weak minded for the. internet and also abuse ur kids God they must hateeeeee you same with your wife unless she is completely brainwashed to thing ur more powerful then her smh sad sad human being
Dear Commenter, You assault my eyes with such Satan Speak ! I furthermore do not appreciate the insults given to me when, each day, I toil and trouble to ensure my beautiful children follow the Path to God’s Palace. You seek to belittle my actions through your Stinging Slander but need I remind you I am merely God’s Vessel for which his Sacred Sentience is being channeled through. And in relation to my ” brainwashed” wife, I am happy to say she is grateful for my recommendation that she give up her job in favour of devoting every single waking… Read more »
1. If you thought that what somebody told you that the only way to expell pervurse ideas from a child was through beatings and BURNINGS you are no better than the people who put jesus on a cross and whipped him. 2. If you could tell me your full name i would like to report domestic abuse and child abuse. 3. The averege male thinks about sex every seven seconds you cant stop your son and just because he looks at his penis doesnt mean he is gay.
Did you read the bible? Because if Satan didn’t exist, humans would be one-minded, brainwashed creatures. Satan is the reason humans can think critically. I don’t worship any god, or Satan for that matter.
Bridgetbrown I must agree with you. Although women are weak in some respects, as a man I am more ashamed of the weaker minds of men, who have assaulted me more, insulted, stolen from, lied, and led me, yes, to sin more. Weak mindedness is what leads us to sin, and women are mostly on the stray path because my fellow MEN, upon whom WOMEN DEPEND, lead them astray and into sin! Thank you.
Hey my neighbor did that too, I heard her kid yelling something about not wanting to be locked up, being beat up by his father and being starved by the mother. Now guess who’s facing child abuse charges?
The joke went over so many people’s heads, it’s staggering…
You’re probably the smartest guy here lol 😉
http://i.4cdn.org/b/1411111637682.jpg
Alfons, can you give another link? Government doesn’t like that site.
I will buy it for my 50th anniversary of my masturbatory CV.
*Side efects: A small portion of the teenagers that used this product developed a Bondage Fetish when they grow up
I don’t often masturbate. But when I do I beat that motherfucker like it owes me money 🙂
THIS IS NOT WHAT THIS BOARD IS USED FOR! THIS IS USED IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM TO WHEN DOING PROCEDURES ON YOUNG CHILDREN WHO MUST REMAIN STILL….COME ON PEOPLE…GET REAL
This… is perhaps the greatest comment in the history of the internet.
I was just masturbating while reading this. And it was soooo good!!
I can’t believe at how evil the Christians are to non christians and themselves. STUPID RELIGION FOR STUPID PEOPLE!!!
Christians are not a religion. Neither is Christ. Nor Christianity. He is the one true first Son of God but we are all children of God too. It is a relation between you, Christ and God. Nobody can tell you what to do or be. Only God.
True shit smfh
we should report this website to the FBI
you people are sick
Why is the world filled with fucking idiots? How do you not realize that this is all satire, including what Erich Sean is saying? Are you all really THAT thick?
Why is there a “Pray Against” button?
Exactly Maxxxx! Aren’t we supposed to pray for all of God’s children? Even those who hurt us, blame us, lie to us, steal our belongings and belittle us?
Amen!
Why is it called self rape lol that’s funny and Jesus is a lie go fuck yourself
masturbation is natural and a wonderful form of relaxation. this gadget is a form of child abuse!
God will punish you!
this is a Satanic device!
you will all rot in hell!
1. Rape is non-consensual sex. If the kid choose to do it to himself then it’s not rape. This trivializes true rape.
2. Putting a kid in this thing is child abuse.
Consensual sex requires two or more people to consent. Rape only requires one person (the rapist) to consent. By masturbating, you are the only one consenting, hence, you are raping yourself.
Masturbating is not sex. It’s masturbating.
If there is a sexual organ involved, its sex. And If its only one person involved, and that person is yourself, its incest. And unless your genitals have vocal cords and can give consent, its RAPE!
Well by that rock solid logic, sex of any kind would be rape too because my Penis didn’t vocally approve this. No. That is easily the dumbest thing I’ve read all day. My (and everyone else s intelligence has been decreased by reading what you have posted. Congratulations.
I urinate using my penis, a sexual organ. Are you implying I can get laid just by pissing? Wow…I’ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
“If there is a sexual organ involved, its sex.” Can’t disagree.
“If its only one person involved, and that person is yourself, its incest.”
Not at all. Please review the definition of incest.
“And unless your genitals have vocal cords and can give consent, its RAPE!”
In fact, it’s the other way round: my genitals demand and I consent or don’t consent.
So when you procreate with someone you got married to its still rape since your genitals don’t have a voice. And here I thought the Westboro Baptist Church was bad.
did i…am i….is this real life???
Ok so by that logic washing your sexual organs is raping them and you wouldn’t want to do that right?
remind me not to stand too close to you !!!
LOL @ Jimmy.
The Joke
——————-
Your head
Do you guys get angry when the Onion hits too close to home also?
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
Whilst washing my genitals I realise I may have just water boarded them by your logic and they didn’t even make a sound.
Mrs rubright. My name is darnel slapcock. We should pray together all night.
OMG, you are so right! I never thought about it in that way. And what about the innocent hands? Aren’t they victims of this evil ploy as well? Come to think of it, is that what they mean by idle hands?
im self raping myself all over your face right now.
So by your logic all sex is rape, your can’t and never will be able to consent to anything so by your logic every human, every time they fuck, it’s rape.
Christina, first off, you’re an idiot, and second off, you look more like a rapist, than anybody I’ve ever seen.
Your name of a sexual organ in your surname according to your logic my penis and anybody elses didnt consent so you are raping
You are retarded.
Do you climax while pissing?
My genitals don’t consent when I have sex with someone – anyone really as I love casual sex with many people. I am who consents. Therefore, you saying “unless my genitals have vocal cords and can give consent, it’s RAPE” is laughable at best. My genitals belong to me and as such I am the one who’s CONSENT matters. Whether I’m fucking myself or I’m fucking someone else or even if I’m fucking multiple people.
Er, I’d say: masturbation IS sex, but I don’t see how sex with yourself could be wrong!
Do they make these in adult sizes? I love bondage.
Bo, wonderful thought!
If you are a girl (adult) and want a partner, I’m here.
That was so stupid. You people are the ones that make religion seem a massive contagion of ignorance…. GOSH
Did you check what psychologist say? This is simply basic. Goddammit! Always fomenting intolerance and hatred among human beings
No rape requires one or more person(s) to NOT consent
Really hard to understand this sentence, but at the end, agree.
Please use better English.
With twisted logic like this, it is useless trying to point out your abuse of the English language
Nikita you seem to be a very intelligent person. How you look, what you write… I might rape myself later thinking of you….
Good thing I don’t choose to press charges on this dashingly good looking rapist of mine, I’m not sure if this site is pure satire or you’re all a bunch of bible-thumping numskulls. I’m praying to my lord and savior Lucifer to wipe your deadhead mind from this earth so that one day everyone may “self-rape”,be married to the same sex, or follow whatever path in life they may choose without a false deity following cult to tell them otherwise.
yes, it is child abuse. if i ever seen a kid in one of these im calling the cops.
but they look so happy, how could you deny such a wonderful experience to a child?
Hahhaa this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen, fucking stupid ass Christians. LOL sex is fantastic.
This is not about sex. It is about child rape molestation. Which is illegal in all 48 states!
48 states? Might I ask the name of your Geography teacher so I can pray her soul never has to know of your ignorance.
It’s legal in the other two….duh!
She said “in ALL 48 states” so nice try
Wow. Did we LOSE two states when I wasn’t looking? Was it like when scientists decided that Pluto was no longer a planet? Pluto probably shrunk because of Galactic Warming due to all the friction generated by all the masturbating going on!
Pluto shrunk because of the wickedness on earth and so many evil childres masturbating and abusing themselves.
Would you agree that ‘child molestation’ is stopping and frustrating the normal course of the sexual discovery of a child? Or would you call stopping the normal course in name of goddamn prejuices, which will later cause REAL sexual deviations?’
Wow. You are a true troll, teach me in your arts
You are so ignorant; you need to go back to school because clearly you have no idea of what sex is.Crawl back under the rock you came from, you’d do us all a huge favour.
Yes, this makes sense. Let’s immobilize our children to “prevent” rape. Ever seen silence of the lambs? This is how the red dragon is born. You people are sick, twisted fucks.
Dear Christina, I’m jacking off to your pic right now as we speak.
Kind regards
Christina rub me, right?
Wow… im an European and even i know that the United States of America has 50 states… you are freaking pathetic.
Im finding very hard to keep my hands of my sin stick while looking at your profile pic Christina…. I need help
Jacking off to your pic right now!
What two states are those? I want to know NOW!
All this thing needs is a gag across the mouth and those good Christians can use this device to molest children. Are they marketing it to priests for the alter boys?
wow, you are a special kind of stupid, aren’t you?….
Agreed, jhonny. Masturbators are the special kind of stupid.
Jesus was a alcoholic and people that jerk the gerkin are! Logic! What about his prostitute friends
Just #rustlemyjimmies. Happy? Your a special kind of special kind of idiot
Im the president and I approve this message
I’m masturbating to this website right now. True story. I’m gonna blow my load all over a pic of the Virgin Mary too. Give her the ole Divine Money shot.
That’s how I made you Jesus! I could not taint marys little virgin pussy with my massive, throbbing god cock; so I did the right thing and just fucked her titties while I watched Mohammed fuck her ass; and than blew the cum into her dirty middle-world hair canyon to save everyone. Come to think of it, after you left she turned into a total whore. I would materialize into a new animal every weekend; and she would fuck me like the rapture just ended. Even took a barbed lion shaft for forty five minutes once. That woman was… one… Read more »
Holy shit lmfao
The fact that this exists is appalling. The fact that people actually support the use of this is so mind boggling, I think I am now dumber for having visited a website that people like this frequent. I’m horrified. Any parent who puts a child in a restraint like this deserves to have their children removed by CPS.
Im the president and I approve this message!
This going to be this year’s “Tickle Me Elmo” at Christmas time. You may think this is “appalling” or “dumb” but you won’t think it’s very dumb when your children are literally begging for one this November and Brother Lonnie is sold out until 2015. Way to ruin Christmas for your kids.
Praise.
Tell me what kind of gifts do your children normally get that they would be begging for this instead?
Im the president, and this bitch needs jesus
Cathy, love you, pray for you.
I am currently masturbating and worshipping my dark lord; satan while also listening to black death metal. Also, this weed is strong, man.
Enjoy being sodomized by Satan.
Sorry, Erich, but Satan BOTTOMS to me. And he LOVES being sodomized by me!
http://www.minutodigital.com/imagenes2/imagen6.jpg brother look at this photo of our savior jesus Christ and pray with me
Oh ok your a christan yet you wish hell to people ok. Where the fuck does it say you cant masturbate
great point, just searched the new and old testaments and couldn’t find any mention of it
Bro do u evn Bible? It’s called the sin of Onan
I’m going to enjoy it so hard that even you will feel it
Your actually a Skank… You Useless Cunt Go Rape a Cat You Fucking Weird Jahova Slag, Go Out and Have a Laugh And Have Fun with your life instead of pretending Your the one making the rules here and Telling people they are raping themselves, Go and Actually Get some Friends…
I aM a FaGgOt WhO cApItAlLiZeS lEtTeRs RaNdOmLy FoR nO oThEr ReAsOn ThAn BeCaUsE i Am A sKaNkY wHoRe WhO wAnTs To WaTcH sOmE sKaNkY cLoSeT hOmOsExUaL fUnDiE rAeP a CaT iN tHe AsS aNd CuM iN iTs BuTtHoLe LiKe In SoMe ShItTy YiFf MoViE tHaT i FaP tO rEgUlArLy WhIlE ShOvInG a ViBrAtInG BuTtPlUg Up My AsS aNd I aLsO wRiTe FuCkInG bOrInG rUn On SeNtAnCeS tHe SiZe Of LoNg MaThEmAtIcAl PrOoFs AnD cOuLdNt ReCoGnIsE a GaY tRoLl On A sAtIrE WeBsItE tO sAvE mY oWn MaNgY aSs AnD aLsO cAnT uSe ThE pUnCtUaTiOn Erich probably has fundie parents… Read more »
I guess you’re the reason why bin laden bombs peoble
Im the president and I take blame for that, but he is the reason I gave the orders!
YOU, and all the other extreme religious people on this forum are the reason people turn from, or hate religion! God had two absolute rules “LOVE people, LOVE God”. If you want to live in good morals, and really want to change the world for the better, perhaps you should knock off the high-&-mighty, holy-art-thou, I’m-better-then-every-person-who-isn’t-me attitude, and try being more accepting of people, not to say you have to accept their choices. Jesus was friendly to EVERYONE, He loved EVERYONE!!!! No matter what people’s choices are YOU have NO right to judge or condem people to Hell!! Leave that… Read more »
Even if you leave them alone, they do not leave you alone.
I’ll enjoy it
You sure showed us by coming here to confess your current ungodly pursuits – that’s a very original sentiment btw, your masturbating while reading our holy netsite. I sure wouldn’t have thought to type that! 🙂
I’m getting one for my non same race wife. Who knows what tomfoolery she’s up to while I’m at work. I don’t trust anyone with darker skin than me.
Bless you, Brother!
pouhaha this website is the funniest thing I have ever read! You guys should show this in a comedy club you would make millions!!! Especially this retarded Erich Sean guy!!! Wow really I just cant stop laughing when reading this idiot! Keep on the retarded comments you are just proving the world that you sir are one hell of an idiot! On a side note by looking at his ugly ass face I can imagine that he must really need this shit if I where as ugly as him I sure as hell would be masturbating all the time and… Read more »
I completely agree
Sorry, I just had to pray against you god. I hope you understand.
this has to be a fucking joke right?..pls tell me this is satire
Hahaha you’re being sarcastic, right??
Bahahabababab
You racist. How can you not trust them just becaues the complexion is different. Really your not a good person. And if you cant trust your one wif we than why are you mareied and why does it matter there color
Clearly, you didn’t get it Darren. LOL
I’ve got nothing against black people. Every white family should be permitted to own two
I can’t tell if Cathy is joking and making fun of this, or if she’s drinking the kool-aid and likes it, but I’m going to go with joking, because that’s the only way I can seriously take any comparison of this contraption to Elmo, LOL! So, cheers, Cathy. well played. 🙂
Damn Christians are fucking stupid.
But the guy that thinks this website is real is really intelligent
For real… The only thing that continues to surprise me about this website is the number of absolute full retards getting their panties all in a bunch because they don’t realize it’s a joke.
Prostate cancer and other masturbation related STDs are hardly a joking matter.
Cancer is an STD? Really? And how exactly can a disease be transmitted through masturbation? Transmittion can only happen when two or more people are involved.. You are not even trying to think are you
Chronic masturbators often resort to drug use in order to cope with guilt and shame associated with trauma of repeated self-rape cycles. It won’t take long before you catch the AIDS from sharing dirty condoms with your roommates under the bridge.
Masturbation is the gateway drug to homosexuality, and brother Nikita has had heartbreaking first hand experience in attempting to nurse homogay masturbaters back to spiritual health. When the soul is unhealthy it is not long before the body becomes equally unhealthy, and this is most frequently evident with the big C and the AIDS penance.
Bless.
Ejaculating frequently actually helps preventing prostate cancer, There’s a REAL research on the matter, look for it.
Wrong, pervert. Once the masturbation has made you a gay, you will be spending most of your free time having rough unprotected anal with complete strangers. It’s only a matter of time before you catch prostate cancer in a dirty bathroom stall.
Pretty sure masturbation is the only true way to be sure not to get an STD. Thank you your ignorance knows no bounds
Chronic masturbators often resort to drug use in order to cope with guilt and shame associated with trauma of repeated self-rape cycles. It won’t take long before you catch the AIDS from sharing dirty condoms with your roommates under the bridge.
Says the man with a nude picture of him on his profile
David, I can’t help it if I look great because I eat smart and never masturbate. Maybe you can stop player hating, let go of your penis, and get a gym membership.
STD= Sexually Transmitted Disease.. 0.o How do you get an STD from masturbating? Oh right YOU CAN’T!! lol
Chronic masturbators often resort to drug use in order to cope with guilt and shame associated with trauma of repeated self-rape cycles. It won’t take long before you catch the AIDS from sharing dirty condoms with your roommates under the bridge.
No, people just stop masturbating or do it much less when they mature. Simply because it stops being that good as it was before! There is no reason to be ashamed, because everybody does it or have been.
No no no, you got it all wrong. Would you like me to draw a picture, so you understand? Anyone have any markers, this little boy Nikita needs to learn the basic 101 of sex, and masturbation.
Will this picture involve a penis? You strike me as someone who likes to draw penis. And look at penis. Penis.
Are you fucking retarded? Cancer isn’t an std you fucktard,you can’t get cancer from having sex you moronic assplunger.And how can masturbation turn you gay you moronic dipshit? I’m straight and i have a girlfriend, and i’ve masturbated before,where is your cold hard evidence ranger dick.
The only thing nikita be shalavin is dick down his throat. He hates when u masterbate because that takes from the cum loads he gets to guzzle.
Im the president and he sucked my slong ryin to get me to stop masterbating. Just sayin, my hand works so much better. Trim the goatee. We dont like bush
I wish it were a joke, but I don’t have the feeling it is! Did you read the comments of this Nikita-fucker and this Erich-moron?
How do I get 40 “pray against” within the 5 sex… sorry: secs I posted it?
this counter is somehow fucked up. You get exactly 32 pray against immediately. Is there a contact directly to webmaster so he can fix it?