What a country! As God-appointed Americans, we live in a Christian land, founded on Christian morals by non-masturbating Christian heroes. One of the great tenets of this fantastic nation in which we reside is the concept of a free democracy. A government of the people, by the people, for the […]
B.L.U.F.F. AZ – The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow, along with NASA, has determined that self rape residues in the atmosphere are at unsafe levels in many areas of the United States. The FFBT and NASA, as part of a joint taxpayer funded coalition, has been measuring the levels of […]
It is not often that the shrill caterwauling of the socially destructive feminist movement could ever be considered to hold something in common with socially responsible Christian conservatism, yet on the subject of self-rape we really should be natural bedfellows [figuratively speaking, of course]. You see, the group that masturbation […]
Have you ever been afflicted by an Inappropriate Office Boner (I.O.B.) at work? It’s an embarrassing condition that can be caused by one of the following three things: too-tight slacks, the tawdry new intern and her suggestive clothing, or thoughts of carpet bombing a foreign nation such as Canada. The […]
In civilized society of old, masturbators were ridiculed and looked down upon. People saw masturbation as a pox and something that caused blindness, fishy smelling fingers, and hairy palms. However, Satan has been hard at work in changing the mind of man. Recently, masturbation has been labeled “okay”, “cool” and […]
Most people wash their hands as a way to stay clean and prevent the spread of harmful germs. When using the restroom, a normal person will wash their hands upon entering the restroom so as to not spread bacteria and viruses to their genitals, and then relieve themselves afterwards. This […]
Some say that the pre-teen game “spin the bottle” is harmless fun; a time where whimsical memories are created, a rite of passage for many a youth. The naïve people who believe this couldn’t be more wrong! **SPIN THE BOTTLE IS A GATEWAY DRUG TO A GROUP MASTURBATION GAME CALLED […]
President Trump confirms he is about to authorize a “ban” on masturbators migration, new restrictions on entry from countries with a history of masturbation. “It’s countries that have tremendous self-rape,” Trump told SMN News in his first Skype interview as president. “And it’s countries that people are going to cum […]
By Nigel J. Covington III Reporting For SMN News (SMN News) Today the U.S. Department of Education, (DOE) announced the Board of Education has approved a new Sex Education curriculum for all high school aged students who attend public high schools throughout the country. Cynthia Castle-Coe, a spokesperson for the […]
