New Zealand is a volcanic mass in the middle of the sea lying east of the Island nation of Austria. It has been proven that the earthquake and natural disasters which formed New Zealand were the point from which devils burst through the earth in the demonic ascension, one of […]
Every year, the Justice Department airs its dirty laundry about what criminals do while in their custody. The top three forms of sexual assault in Federal Prisons Are: Masturbation (self-rape) Forcible Rape (mainstream-rape) Food Rape (usually produce or ham) Eating bad food, having to associate with minorities, and living […]
Flock, I would like to bring to your attention the latest danger facing our precious youth: the masturbation band known as Tool. Last week, while hosting my sister’s family at the compound campus in Safford, I noticed that my nineteen year-old nephew Jimmy was ignoring the Chick Tracts that I had […]
<STOP MASTURBATION NOW!> Born December 18, 1886 in Rural Georgia only one generation after the war between the states, Tyrus Raymond “Ty” Cobb became one of baseball’s greatest players and a pioneer in the struggle against masturbation. Cobb is credited with setting over 90 baseball records with a hard nosed […]
B.L.U.F.F. (Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts) has raised the overall self rape level to Orange-Imminent Threat of Self-Rape detected. The Facebook Rise of the Butthurt has published a series of “Bertstrips.” These crude cartoons pose an imminent threat of self rape! The following is official information from the B.L.U.F.F. […]
A miracle has occurred this week, as Stop Masturbation Now founder and American Hero, Lonnie Childs, has intervened to save the immortal soul of a parishioner known simply as ‘Thomas’. ‘Thomas’ was asleep in bed when a miracle sent by Lonnie Childs awakened him in order to alert ‘Thomas’ to […]
WARNING: Do not be tricked by certain internets meems. Some may appear to be spiritual and comforting, my dear friends in Christ through Brother Lonnie, but they are merely a ploy by Big Masturbation to promote self rape. Take this one, for instance. Note the nasty underbelly to this filth. […]
Here is what the Liberal lies claim about this “game” on Wikipedia(a known Communist site): “In the distant past, a powerful race called the Forerunners fought an alien parasite known as the Flood. The Flood, which spread through infestation of sentient life, overran much of the Milky Way Galaxy. One […]
New Year’s resolutions can run a little hot and cold — and it turns out so can New Year’s runners. The Resolution Run in Safford, AZ has opportunities for participants to experience both the freezing cold and the sweat-building heat of a 1-kilometer, 5-kilometer or 10-kilometer race. And then there […]
