Masturbators Catfished By SexBot at SBSW Festival!

Flock, it has come to my attention that a rather significant secular music festival, South By Southwest (SBSW), is currently taking place in Austin, Massachusetts.  Like any festival, desperate masturbators looking for self-rape material are swiping left and right on the masturbation app, Tinder.  Hilariously, some are finding out their perfect match isn’t what it seems.  Meet “Ava”, the 25-year-old that’s taken SBSW by storm.

Sorry, masturbators!  She's just a sexbot!

Sorry, masturbators! She’s just a sexbot!

After matching with her, “Ava” lures her potential mate into thinking about self-rape.


Next, she blatantly asks her “mark” to commit the ultimate sin.

Text #2


Having catfished him, “Ava” decides to take it to the next level.


As we all know by now, masturbators like Brock are easily fooled.  They take the next step in courtship, by going to Instagram, and that’s when Brock learns the truth.  Ava is really a sexbot from the upcoming masturbation documentary “Ex-Machina,” which was premiering at the festival.  Brock, feeling embarrassed for being completely trolled out of his mind, probably paid the $20 to see what is assuredly a really terrible film.  Thanks, sucker!

The moral to this story is that you should never masturbate.


God bless some of you!




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6 years ago

Masturbators reek of desperation. I’ve seen firsthand some of the levels they stoop to on the Instagrams. It sickens me!

Cassidy Pen
6 years ago

The Satanic rock band, the Smashing Pumpedkins, is behind this. Just look at that Bill Corragin; anyone can tell he’s a self-rapist.

6 years ago

Masturbators have to be the stupidest people on the planet. I will also add the SBSW to the list of music festivals I am praying against, right after that conchella.

Humping Cowboy
Humping Cowboy
6 years ago

I sure am glad this isn’t SXSW in Austin, Texas. No masturbation there, just lots of wild orgies.