B.L.U.F.F. / Faith Fact Series / Press Release / Uncategorized / Weather

Masturbation Particulate Count in Water Twisters Spout Concern


While a water spout is often weaker than most of its land counterparts, stronger versions spawned by bodies of water with high semen content do occur. Waterspouts do not suck up water. The water seen in the main funnel cloud is actually semen droplets formed by the chemical reaction of spilled seed in the warmed water (see right funnel cloud.) While many waterspouts form in the tropics, other areas also report waterspouts, including Europe, New Zealand, the Great Lakes, and other areas where there is a high occurrence of masturbation*.

It is no surprise that there is a correlation between the instances of damaging higher category water spouts and an increase in hand release among Americans. The Lord has most certainly seen to that.

All this is proof that God smites flesh sinners. The SMN Ministry urges those who masturbate to repent and sin no more.

*-source: B.L.U.F.F. FaithFacts™

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Anonymous
Anonymous
2 months ago

I masturbate to this website

smart person
2 months ago
Reply to  Anonymous

Oh hey, me too

Passidy Cen
Passidy Cen
25 days ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

Your article adds nothing in terms of substance or educational value either

Anonymous
Anonymous
22 days ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

Cheers brother. I’ll fap to that.

Wank2U
Wank2U
3 days ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

Neither does your bullshit article.

i masterbate to ink sans
i masterbate to ink sans
1 month ago
Reply to  Anonymous

Same.

Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
15 days ago
Reply to  Anonymous

Hell yeah

ezekiel
ezekiel
2 months ago

WHoever wrote this is batshit crazy. I’m going to go rapture all over myself thinking about it

smart person
2 months ago
Reply to  ezekiel

This website is a big fucking joke

Anonymous
Anonymous
2 months ago

Wtf, I’ll masturbate rn out of spite. Spite fucking myself

Jacknoff Anal
Jacknoff Anal
2 months ago

I am masturbating right now while I have a cucumber shoved up my bum….

Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
15 days ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

nah man we’re not gonna stop

Sincerely Concerned
Sincerely Concerned
1 month ago

Masturbation is sex with someone I love. In my experience, “faith facts”, are simply made up BS to control people. A lot of y’all need some serotonin. A natural and important chemical in the brain that boosts your mood. Get a better mood my friend! Join us! 🤣

i am smart
i am smart
1 month ago

“*-source: B.L.U.F.F. FaithFacts™”
facts my ass

Jesus_187
Jesus_187
1 month ago

So true, the person behind this theory has to be a real mastermind. This should win a Nobel prize.

Dominik Pyszka
1 month ago

+1 kurwy kutas do cipy ahhahah lubie sie masturbowac

im masturbating right now
im masturbating right now
1 month ago

is this a meme or is this real

Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
15 days ago

What the fuck is wrong with you people, masturbation is amazing

okay anyway im gonna get back to my discord werewolf boyfriend, we’re doing a fun erotic-roleplay involving him pissing and shitting and throwing up on me, and jacking me off, and lots and lots of masturbation, pre-marital sex, sinning, and self-raping

(oh plus, regarding the “Ouch pouch” I’m willing to bet 1500₽ that theres at least someone who has a fetish regarding that, it’s really just inevitable at this point, haha)

abear
abear
10 days ago

I have seen waterspouts off the beach in front of my house.
Likewise, every spring the herring spawn is a massive spectacle. Billions of the silvery perverts swim into the shallows. The males masturbate and spill their seed into the water, turning its color into a milky turquoise color. The females then swim into this clouds laying their eggs.
Could this be the cause of the waterspouts? Why does Jehovah allow this debauchery?

Matthew
Matthew
5 days ago

Just got back from beating my cock and rolling joints with the devils lettuce in some bible pages 🤙🏼