While a water spout is often weaker than most of its land counterparts, stronger versions spawned by bodies of water with high semen content do occur. Waterspouts do not suck up water. The water seen in the main funnel cloud is actually semen droplets formed by the chemical reaction of spilled seed in the warmed water (see right funnel cloud.) While many waterspouts form in the tropics, other areas also report waterspouts, including Europe, New Zealand, the Great Lakes, and other areas where there is a high occurrence of masturbation*.
It is no surprise that there is a correlation between the instances of damaging higher category water spouts and an increase in hand release among Americans. The Lord has most certainly seen to that.
All this is proof that God smites flesh sinners. The SMN Ministry urges those who masturbate to repent and sin no more.
*-source: B.L.U.F.F. FaithFacts™
I masturbate to this website
Oh hey, me too
I can’t get it to work for me. I need Viagara.
I must report this disgusting troll statement. It adds nothing in terms of substance or educational value.
Your article adds nothing in terms of substance or educational value either
Cheers brother. I’ll fap to that.
Neither does your bullshit article.
Can you help me masturbate Cassidy?
Hey, that’s what I thought about this article too!
Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace
Play with my balls and tell me how big they are
Honey rub your beaver up and down my face
Sir on the corner of the bed and watch me whack off
I am masturbating in semen reading this comment
Same.
Hell yeah
Yo that pic of the Lonnie shirt? Gets it donnnnnne son!!!!!!!!
WHoever wrote this is batshit crazy. I’m going to go rapture all over myself thinking about it
This website is a big fucking joke
Ezekiel, if that is in fact your real name, if you ever actually read about the rapture in your holy bible, you’d realize that you could never possibly rapture over yourself. You would have discovered what an embarrassing and nonsensical statement it was and never have posted it.
Cassidy, it’s your brother here. Can you wank me off?
Don’t worry bro, I got you.
Nobody fuckin cares mate
K the fact that you think semen is in waterspouts is an embarrassing and nonsensical statement
It’s satire and this comment section is making me lose braincells. These people are joking!!
Wtf, I’ll masturbate rn out of spite. Spite fucking myself
I am masturbating right now while I have a cucumber shoved up my bum….
Jacknoff Anal, you appear to be a troll of some sort posting rude comments of this sort. I request that you please go away and stop trolling this website.
nah man we’re not gonna stop
Fuck off satanist faggot furfag
lmao 3 dislikes already fucking liberal snowflakes cry about it
Nah i’m not either of those terms, i just put those two to piss these catholics off more lmfao
They are Lonniechildsians, not Catholics.
can i borrow a dollar
I request that you please go get some bitches
Dear Cassidy Pen, we know the site is satire. If it isn’t, please seek professional help. I know you do not think semen causes water sprouts.
Masturbation is sex with someone I love. In my experience, “faith facts”, are simply made up BS to control people. A lot of y’all need some serotonin. A natural and important chemical in the brain that boosts your mood. Get a better mood my friend! Join us! 🤣
That trollish response is pulled right out of the Big Masturbation playbook and is worthy of ridicule.
“Big Masturbation Playbook”
Never laughed so god damn hard in my fucking life, y’all are so hilariously stubborn
They literally said “ be happy”
“*-source: B.L.U.F.F. FaithFacts™”
facts my ass
“I am smart” is that the extent of your thoughtful response?
So true, the person behind this theory has to be a real mastermind. This should win a Nobel prize.
+1 kurwy kutas do cipy ahhahah lubie sie masturbowac
is this a meme or is this real
Meme
What the fuck is wrong with you people, masturbation is amazing
okay anyway im gonna get back to my discord werewolf boyfriend, we’re doing a fun erotic-roleplay involving him pissing and shitting and throwing up on me, and jacking me off, and lots and lots of masturbation, pre-marital sex, sinning, and self-raping
(oh plus, regarding the “Ouch pouch” I’m willing to bet 1500₽ that theres at least someone who has a fetish regarding that, it’s really just inevitable at this point, haha)
im selling videos of me taking the lords name in vain for $1 a piece
I have seen waterspouts off the beach in front of my house.
Likewise, every spring the herring spawn is a massive spectacle. Billions of the silvery perverts swim into the shallows. The males masturbate and spill their seed into the water, turning its color into a milky turquoise color. The females then swim into this clouds laying their eggs.
Could this be the cause of the waterspouts? Why does Jehovah allow this debauchery?
Exactly 🤣
Just got back from beating my cock and rolling joints with the devils lettuce in some bible pages 🤙🏼
I’m only here to inform that I will continue stroking my big, thick, hard and veiny dick
hell yeah
based website
WHY ARE NIGGERS NOT ALL BEING SHIPPED TO SAN FRANCISCO
based and redpilled
There’s one thing you should know about me. I’m a black belt in masturbation. I’ve jerked my gerkin so much over the past 12 years or so, that my grip is now legendary. I once crushed a man’s hand just by giving him a handshake. Every time he uses that hand now, he thinks of me, the man who crippled his hand. And you, sword in hand, want to challenge me? I can break that sword in half in 3 seconds. You can try if you want to. But just know that I can ruin your life with one swift… Read more »
I will now wank to Cassidy Pen’s profile picture. Do you feel the good loving CP?
I am asexual and I think this website sucks
Are you also awitty?
I jerked off so hard after reading this that my cum shooted out everywhere
Poe’s Law is hilarious.
Yo Cassidy, loving the article👍 Used to wack my silly Willy hourly but after reading about masturbations effects on weather, I’ve since changed my mind and now read the Bible hourly instead, or at least whatever is readable through all the cum stains on it from before I read this article. Keep on truckin’ and don’t go wackin’.
No way people think this is not satire.
Just gotta let y’all know I’ll still be stroking my fat veiny long dick regardless of this meme of an article 🤣🤷🏻
do these people have hobbies like really who does this help people are literally dying in streets where I am your website is merely a pitiful statement of ignorance to the destruction of our world how could you possibly justify it
Cassidy Pen, what are you wearing right now? My raging, veiny foot-long is ready and I’m in pain
Masturbation, or the act of self-stimulating one’s own sexual organs for pleasure, has long been considered taboo and even sinful by some religious and cultural traditions. However, the reality is that masturbation is a normal and healthy part of human sexuality, and there is no scientific or moral reason to consider it a sin. First of all, it is important to recognize that masturbation is a natural and common human behavior. Nearly all people masturbate at some point in their lives, and it is a normal part of human sexual development. Masturbation can help people learn about their own bodies… Read more »
Matthew 7:15 ESV “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” 1 John 4:1-6 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in… Read more »
I just busted a nut fatter than the author of this article.
8 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch!
Big, hard, throbbing cocks wanting to be sucked!
18 naked cowboys wanting to be fucked!
Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch!
On their knees wanting to suck cowboy cocks!
Ram Ranch really rocks!
Hot, hard, buff cowboys, their cocks throbbing hard!
18 more wild cowboys out in the yard!
So this is a fake site? How could anyone reference a fake site as their media source
I masturbate so much its proven that I cause hurricanes.
Check out this website mister pen
e621.net
I am licking my erected dick right now
Wait how are you that flexible…?
Are people this dumb? Is this website a joke? I’m just not sure!!!
So the little funnel cloud is God finger banging the Earth and the big funnel cloud with all the semen in it is God screwing the Earth?
Yeah
lmao skill issue
Omg! There’s semen in hurricanes?!!!
How is this a real article 🤣
Amen!
-Jebediah Puhpenschizcz (Mr. Puhpenschizcz)
Cyclones are colored.
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it’s been 2 years. when are we getting another article?
I agree, this is a real problem!! Here is another source: ao3.org/works/55842337
i’m jorking my peanits
I just came to this article. So hot. I love masturbating.