B.L.U.F.F. / Faith Fact Series / Press Release / Uncategorized / Weather

Masturbation Particulate Count in Water Twisters Spout Concern


While a water spout is often weaker than most of its land counterparts, stronger versions spawned by bodies of water with high semen content do occur. Waterspouts do not suck up water. The water seen in the main funnel cloud is actually semen droplets formed by the chemical reaction of spilled seed in the warmed water (see right funnel cloud.) While many waterspouts form in the tropics, other areas also report waterspouts, including Europe, New Zealand, the Great Lakes, and other areas where there is a high occurrence of masturbation*.

It is no surprise that there is a correlation between the instances of damaging higher category water spouts and an increase in hand release among Americans. The Lord has most certainly seen to that.

All this is proof that God smites flesh sinners. The SMN Ministry urges those who masturbate to repent and sin no more.

*-source: B.L.U.F.F. FaithFacts™

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Anonymous
Anonymous
1 month ago

I masturbate to this website

smart person
26 days ago
Reply to  Anonymous

Oh hey, me too

i masterbate to ink sans
i masterbate to ink sans
9 days ago
Reply to  Anonymous

Same.

ezekiel
ezekiel
1 month ago

WHoever wrote this is batshit crazy. I’m going to go rapture all over myself thinking about it

smart person
26 days ago
Reply to  ezekiel

This website is a big fucking joke

Anonymous
Anonymous
29 days ago

Wtf, I’ll masturbate rn out of spite. Spite fucking myself

Jacknoff Anal
Jacknoff Anal
28 days ago

I am masturbating right now while I have a cucumber shoved up my bum….

Sincerely Concerned
Sincerely Concerned
10 days ago

Masturbation is sex with someone I love. In my experience, “faith facts”, are simply made up BS to control people. A lot of y’all need some serotonin. A natural and important chemical in the brain that boosts your mood. Get a better mood my friend! Join us! 🤣

i am smart
i am smart
9 days ago

“*-source: B.L.U.F.F. FaithFacts™”
facts my ass

Jesus_187
Jesus_187
2 days ago

So true, the person behind this theory has to be a real mastermind. This should win a Nobel prize.