B.L.U.F.F. / Faith Fact Series / Press Release / Uncategorized / Weather

Masturbation Particulate Count in Water Twisters Spout Concern


While a water spout is often weaker than most of its land counterparts, stronger versions spawned by bodies of water with high semen content do occur. Waterspouts do not suck up water. The water seen in the main funnel cloud is actually semen droplets formed by the chemical reaction of spilled seed in the warmed water (see right funnel cloud.) While many waterspouts form in the tropics, other areas also report waterspouts, including Europe, New Zealand, the Great Lakes, and other areas where there is a high occurrence of masturbation*.

It is no surprise that there is a correlation between the instances of damaging higher category water spouts and an increase in hand release among Americans. The Lord has most certainly seen to that.

All this is proof that God smites flesh sinners. The SMN Ministry urges those who masturbate to repent and sin no more.

*-source: B.L.U.F.F. FaithFacts™

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Anonymous
Anonymous
1 year ago

I masturbate to this website

smart person
1 year ago
Reply to  Anonymous

Oh hey, me too

Passidy Cen
Passidy Cen
1 year ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

Your article adds nothing in terms of substance or educational value either

Anonymous
Anonymous
1 year ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

Cheers brother. I’ll fap to that.

Wank2U
Wank2U
1 year ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

Neither does your bullshit article.

Paul Pen
Paul Pen
10 months ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

Can you help me masturbate Cassidy?

Ron Goldman
Ron Goldman
3 months ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

Hey, that’s what I thought about this article too!

i masterbate to ink sans
i masterbate to ink sans
1 year ago
Reply to  Anonymous

Same.

Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
1 year ago
Reply to  Anonymous

Hell yeah

ezekiel
ezekiel
1 year ago

WHoever wrote this is batshit crazy. I’m going to go rapture all over myself thinking about it

smart person
1 year ago
Reply to  ezekiel

This website is a big fucking joke

Paul Pen
Paul Pen
10 months ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

Cassidy, it’s your brother here. Can you wank me off?

Cumshot Joe Reagan
Cumshot Joe Reagan
10 months ago
Reply to  Paul Pen

Don’t worry bro, I got you.

BROTHER.jpg
Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
6 months ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

Nobody fuckin cares mate

Anonymous
Anonymous
1 year ago

Wtf, I’ll masturbate rn out of spite. Spite fucking myself

Jacknoff Anal
Jacknoff Anal
1 year ago

I am masturbating right now while I have a cucumber shoved up my bum….

Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
1 year ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

nah man we’re not gonna stop

Zoombomber Guy
10 months ago

Fuck off satanist faggot furfag

Zoombomber Guy
Zoombomber Guy
7 months ago
Reply to  Zoombomber Guy

lmao 3 dislikes already fucking liberal snowflakes cry about it

Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
6 months ago
Reply to  Zoombomber Guy

Nah i’m not either of those terms, i just put those two to piss these catholics off more lmfao

Cassidy Penis
Cassidy Penis
9 months ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

I request that you please go get some bitches

Sincerely Concerned
Sincerely Concerned
1 year ago

Masturbation is sex with someone I love. In my experience, “faith facts”, are simply made up BS to control people. A lot of y’all need some serotonin. A natural and important chemical in the brain that boosts your mood. Get a better mood my friend! Join us! 🤣

Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
6 months ago
Reply to  Cassidy Pen

“Big Masturbation Playbook”

Never laughed so god damn hard in my fucking life, y’all are so hilariously stubborn

i am smart
i am smart
1 year ago

“*-source: B.L.U.F.F. FaithFacts™”
facts my ass

Jesus_187
Jesus_187
1 year ago

So true, the person behind this theory has to be a real mastermind. This should win a Nobel prize.

Dominik Pyszka
1 year ago

+1 kurwy kutas do cipy ahhahah lubie sie masturbowac

im masturbating right now
im masturbating right now
1 year ago

is this a meme or is this real

Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
1 year ago

What the fuck is wrong with you people, masturbation is amazing

okay anyway im gonna get back to my discord werewolf boyfriend, we’re doing a fun erotic-roleplay involving him pissing and shitting and throwing up on me, and jacking me off, and lots and lots of masturbation, pre-marital sex, sinning, and self-raping

(oh plus, regarding the “Ouch pouch” I’m willing to bet 1500₽ that theres at least someone who has a fetish regarding that, it’s really just inevitable at this point, haha)

abear
abear
1 year ago

I have seen waterspouts off the beach in front of my house.
Likewise, every spring the herring spawn is a massive spectacle. Billions of the silvery perverts swim into the shallows. The males masturbate and spill their seed into the water, turning its color into a milky turquoise color. The females then swim into this clouds laying their eggs.
Could this be the cause of the waterspouts? Why does Jehovah allow this debauchery?

Matthew
Matthew
1 year ago

Just got back from beating my cock and rolling joints with the devils lettuce in some bible pages 🤙🏼

Darius
Darius
1 year ago

I’m only here to inform that I will continue stroking my big, thick, hard and veiny dick

Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
Your local satanist & masturbator & gay & furry
1 year ago
Reply to  Darius

hell yeah

Zoombomber Guy
Zoombomber Guy
1 year ago

based website

NIGGERS CAN FUKKK OFF
NIGGERS CAN FUKKK OFF
10 months ago

WHY ARE NIGGERS NOT ALL BEING SHIPPED TO SAN FRANCISCO

Carlos834
Carlos834
7 months ago

based and redpilled

Cummies McCummers
Cummies McCummers
10 months ago

There’s one thing you should know about me. I’m a black belt in masturbation. I’ve jerked my gerkin so much over the past 12 years or so, that my grip is now legendary. I once crushed a man’s hand just by giving him a handshake. Every time he uses that hand now, he thinks of me, the man who crippled his hand. And you, sword in hand, want to challenge me? I can break that sword in half in 3 seconds. You can try if you want to. But just know that I can ruin your life with one swift… Read more »

CP Ternzmion
CP Ternzmion
10 months ago

I will now wank to Cassidy Pen’s profile picture. Do you feel the good loving CP?

Garcia Clortchmen
Garcia Clortchmen
8 months ago

I am asexual and I think this website sucks

I masturbated on this website
I masturbated on this website
6 months ago

I jerked off so hard after reading this that my cum shooted out everywhere

ItsThePoepoe
ItsThePoepoe
5 months ago

Poe’s Law is hilarious.

An Anomalocaris
An Anomalocaris
4 months ago

Yo Cassidy, loving the article👍 Used to wack my silly Willy hourly but after reading about masturbations effects on weather, I’ve since changed my mind and now read the Bible hourly instead, or at least whatever is readable through all the cum stains on it from before I read this article. Keep on truckin’ and don’t go wackin’.

Cleb
Cleb
4 months ago

No way people think this is not satire.

Elijah
Elijah
4 months ago

Just gotta let y’all know I’ll still be stroking my fat veiny long dick regardless of this meme of an article 🤣🤷🏻

danny
danny
4 months ago

do these people have hobbies like really who does this help people are literally dying in streets where I am your website is merely a pitiful statement of ignorance to the destruction of our world how could you possibly justify it

Cassidy is a Cunt
3 months ago

Cassidy Pen, what are you wearing right now? My raging, veiny foot-long is ready and I’m in pain