This Lonnsmas Eve, we fellow Normals would like to share a poem written by Augustus Weizmoore in 1801:
THE NIGHT BEFORE LONNSMAS
T’was the night before Lonnsmas,
and all through the campound,
Not a Normal was stirring,
for their sleep was profound
I in my vestments.
And my SRAS in restraint.
Had just settled in,
for our Lonnsmas Eve date
When out on the impenetrable armor plated bunker roof,
there came a faint tap,
I sprang up with two guns,
Ready to bust mad caps
And what to my wondrous eyes should appear?
But virile, holy man-god!
Clean shaven, no beard.
“Oh Glory be! “
I exclaimed on high!
Because Lonnie Childs
Had come down from the sky
“Good Normal “, he said
With voice that felt like syrup
“You don’t masturbate,
And I’m glad to hear it. “
I saw his suspenders,
and his shiny glasses.
And immediately,
I felt shame for the masses
I called out to him:
” Oh glorious Lord
I shall never masturbate,
of my own accord. “
He smiled right back
For he knew it was true
That touching my sin sword,
I shall never do
In a hail of light,
and a flurry of sparks
He then flew away from me.
Off into the dark.
But I heard him exclaim,
As he blazed out of sight:
” God Bless those that matter!
And to some, a goodnight! “
